Very agitated lately. Can't sleep.

[Caldus]

Hi all,

 

I've just been having a really difficult last several months. Lately I've just been very agitated a lot, especially with people and things going on at work. I'm so fed up with some of the politics that goes on at work. When I leave work, I can't stop thinking about what things need to be done while I'm at home. My mind won't stop thinking about it. It's very frustrating. Like right now, I can't sleep because my mind is just going through a million different scenarios, like what happens if this happens or if this does not work out, etc. I try to just shut all of that down, but I just can't. It seems like the only way I can get myself to shut down easily is to drink alcohol, but I don't like drinking during the week and I'm trying not to develop too much of a dependence on it even though my life just seems like hell without it sometimes.

 

I just have absolutely no life, but that is nothing new with me. It's been that way for so many years now. Even through college I just never had friends, especially my later years. I hardly ever go out and do anything outside of work. Once in a while I will meet someone new and we'll hang out a few times, but then it sort of just dies from there. I just don't understand why it is so difficult to have a life anymore. My thoughts are so consumed by work-related stuff that I hardly ever think about things like traveling, vacations, etc. I know I'm long overdue for a longer vacation, as I have not taken more than 1 vacation day off since I started this job 2 years ago. So I think that might be part of my situation here. Maybe I am just getting too burnt out with it all and it's starting to take a toll on me?

 

I also just feel burnt out in general. Not just with work, but with my personal life (or lack thereof). I feel like my life for the last several years have been very wasteful and I have not done anything for myself that is good. I would especially say that for the last several months I feel like I have just been wasting a lot of time. I just have absolutely no energy and always just agitated around people, even when I try to be more upbeat and positive around people. I'm really tired of people trying to take advantage of me at work and use me to fix their problems. I'm also tired of people treating me with disrespect. All I ask for is a little respect.

 

I think more and more that I need to go back and seek professional help. I just feel like I need help calming down with all of these racey thoughts in my head. I used to have deep depression as a teenager and I think some of that is still there and I never really admitted it to myself I guess until now.

 

Thanks for listening, as I do not have anybody else to share my thoughts with right now. I usually try not to complain about stuff if I can help it, but I guess I've just been having a really bad time these last several months.

[Grace]

I completely sympathize, I overthink everything, the sociopolitics at work drive me off the deep end, I just try to breathe and remember the things I love in life, I can't say I always succeed though

[faithful14]

i think you need to do somethings that you enjoy and will give you happiness. If you need a vacation, then take it. Get away and leave your worries behind. There has to be some balance in your life because if there isn't, you will go crazy.

 

Don't worry about the "what if's" and the things that may or may not happen in the future. you can only worry about today. It's time to shake up your life and have some fun. WHy not try and reconnect with your old friends? Pick a hobby? play a sport or hit the gym to relieve stress?

 

If you're not happy at your job, take a look and see what else is on the market. Maybe there's something else you may want to try.

 

When you come home, do something to help you unwind and leave work behind. Watch tv, cook food, rent a movie, go jog, or maybe listen to some classical music. If you really want to talk to someone, then go get help. NO matter what, take care of yourself and do things every now and then to be happy.