brtlangst Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 Night… Hopelessly lost in your Pale silver moon Casting light upon my, Restless body Lying in the grass Listening to your light breathing Tickling my neck, lover's touch Smells like…just before the plunge I'll wait for you here 'Till the morning's dew Meaningful Ramblings...sometimes I have a hard time figuring out my own thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neva_black_n_white Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 I liked your poem and the way you described the moon light and casting a shadow upon you, I thought that was great, I couldn't picture both lying on the grass at night (or is that something else). When I read your poem after you'd paused and put… it seemed as if there was some intent upon death or suicide when you waited to take the plunge or something like you were willing to take the risk and further something for your own good and you wait for them to do the same. I don't know just my reading into it. Kel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brtlangst Posted April 1, 2004 Author Share Posted April 1, 2004 Actually it was an English assignment and it was inspired from a picture i found on the internet. After reading your response to it I can see how you got that, my initial meaning was for a person to get the feeling of a yearning for somebody...or being alone. But I also like yours, I never would have thought of it that way but I liked it alot. Thanks for the comment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vetiver Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 Very cold arround your place I see nothing but your face Here is now, but you're not here Moon please! Bring her/him near Well I wanted to reply to your poem with a poem. Nice... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brtlangst Posted April 10, 2004 Author Share Posted April 10, 2004 I'm locked inside a Deathly cold heart I want to touch your, Pain Slipping slowly Down the silver lit night I'll be here for you 'Til you've had enough A reply to your reply poem *Note* I don't always end with 'Til, just keeping up the pattern. Nice poem btw! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmptySoul Posted April 24, 2004 Share Posted April 24, 2004 It was interesting and I liked it a lot. EmptySoul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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