Want my ex bf back

[gemjay1]

Well im going to cut a long story short so you dont have to read a long post...Thank you for any replies.

 

I had been going out with my bf for 6 months and had been very happy with him, until we went through a rather bad phase..We argued constantly for weeks, we stopped eventually but we argued about very stupid things and i think he carried them on and tryed to make me feel real bad.

My mum is dying from cancer and ive had that on my mind lately and all he could think about was himself, so i eventually dumped him.

I go to the same school as him and i stayed friends with him although he never talks to me anymore.

I am now dating one of his friends and he really hates me, but i think im still in love with him...I just want him back.

Ive now left his friend and tryed to talk to him but he just wont speak to me. I just need some advice on how i can get him back and how i can get him to talk to me..Im sure he still loves me because his friend told me that he told her.

[rich_1517]

i can relate. my mom died of cancer when i was 17, the girl i was seeing spent two weeks being supportive then started in with "what about me and my needs?" so i let her go. good thing i found out later.

 

the petty fights and arguments over little things are could be one of two things (my guess), finding where he is in the relationship by establishing some sense of what he can control. Or there are possibly bigger issues he cant talk about openly so he picks. (remember im guessing).

 

but before you try and solve the problems of a possible relationship with your ex, ask yourself why you want him back. sure we miss someone when they have touched us, thats normal. but do you want it back the way it was? chances are that unless someone changed (you or him) it will be the same.

 

sounds like the two of you have hurt each other pretty well and are both still angry. fact is you went out with his friend. how would you feel if he dated with one of yours? you will have to go a hard road to get him back i think.

 

These are only suggestions about what would work for me (seek other advice as well).

 

1. dont date anyone

2. do not ask him to come back

3. ask him if he would like to go on a date

4. dont talk about your wanting him back

5. do apologise (dont plead) for any hurt you caused

6. tell him you understand if he is upset, that you would like to see him, if only as a friend, that you value having him in your life.

 

win his heart one date at a time, be humble but self respecting so he can get over his anger, dont date others to show you know you screwed up.

 

this might work there are no guarantees and no promises. if you are able to do this you will feel pretty good about your self. why? becuase its extremely hard. I have done it.

 

but remember your mom is the biggest thing going on in your life, you may need someone who can love and support you through this. i would seriously consider that first, and also that you need yourself too.