The Warm Wind-Opinions Please!

[Zka0954]

I'm a junior in high school and to get some of my emotions out I decided to take a stab at poetry. I made several rough drafts of this before it I reached this form and decided this conveyed my feelings the way I wanted it to. It's very long almost like an epic poem but please read and leave opinions and comments! Thank You!

The Warm Wind

 

The pieces have slowly re-built themselves

From that moment caused by you

Never to be re-created the same

The blue poppy petal stands alone

In a field of flowers

 

As one petal fell

others soon followed

'till the wind scattered them

to the far reaches

only to be re-created never the same

 

Standing by the sunset shaded water

I look into the infinite horizon" searching

A blue petal fell in, guided by the wind

The countless ripples caused by it's gentle touch

Only the passage of time could reverse

 

Grabbing the petal, it's too late

The water has been disturbed

I've found the answer to my search

Guided by the warm spring wind carrying a calling melody

I follow to a warm field of flowers somewhere in the distance

 

One blue petal was found by another

Taking the blue petal that passed you by in the wind

You moved from that place which was veiled in fog

Towards a warm field of flowers in the distance

Guided by the warm wind carrying a calling melody;

or an illusion of such

 

Finally I reached the warm field of flowers, with one blue poppy standing alone

Countless me were guided there

Each by a blue poppy petal being carried by a guiding wind and a calling melody

Putting back what was once one, slowly we each disappear

Till only one remains; one me and one blue poppy

 

Guided also to the field of flowers, you enter my sight

Holding the last of the petals you stop at the edge

In a moment you realized something too late

That perhaps the petal was destined to be guided somewhere else

Thus you find you can continue no further; never entering the field

 

Standing by the blue poppy I watch

As you release the final petal into the wind once again

The blue poppy is left changed, missing the one leaf you took

And slowly you fade away, your beauty leaving as well

Despite my desperate callings, the last poppy petal is never returned

 

I look into the empty spot in which you occupied

So close yet so far away

The blue poppy will never be the same

Even if returned by someone else, only the hands of time could reapair

And I wonder "Can two share what was originally meant to be one?"

 

Pondering that question I continue to look at that spot

With only the lonely blue poppy to keep me company

And then I realize in a moment, that even though the blue poppy stands alone

It is surrounded by the field of flowers

And suddenly the warm wind shattered the blue poppy petals once again

 

Being sent to the far reaches

Only to never be re-created the same

Finally I disappear, slowly fading from the field, to search once more

Looking into the horizon, and once more at the spot you occupied

I think to myself "Maybe two can share what was originally meant to be one."

 

Thanks for reading!-Zka0954

[Zka0954]

I know it's long....but no one?

[Capricorn3]

Lol, you're right when you say epic poem, wow, lol.

To be totally honest, I found it very disjointed and I struggled to make any sense of it. It also seemed repetitive in some areas. I read it several times to try and somehow follow a story, but I still get lost each time. I walk away with a feeling of total confusion Sorry.

 

But that said, please don't let my words discourage you. If it has any meaning to YOU (which it obviously does), then that's all that matters.

[Zka0954]

lol nah i'm fine with ppl critizing my poem that is why I put it up! Haha I jsut wanted to see what other people thought of it. I'm not trying to be a poet when I grow older on anything just curious.