stephla Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 why on earth would a guy refuse his gf to give him a blow job? i'm certain i'm good in it and before he used to aks for it very often. he wants sex 2-4 times a day which i can't, so we compromise to about every day. if i'm not in the mood and he is i would love to give him a bj but he refuses. i asked him why a couple of times and he says he just doesn't want it. what do you think? we've been arguing about how he has much higher sex drive than me. but what can i do about it? i often feel pressured as he innitiates sex too often, so often i'm getting bored by it. then he feels frustrated and unloved. he's 30, together for 3 years and masturbates about 3 times a day and still wants sex that much! i think he's much more attracted to me than i am to him but i do love him. besides that, he says our sex life is great. i agree but i'm starting to pull away bc i'm feeling so annoyed by it, so much i'm thinking how we should breakup bc this can't go on forever, which he thankfully thinks it's a foolish reason. any thoughts please? Link to comment
alls Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 oh i wish i was you! lol. Me and myboyfriend seem to only have sex once every 2 weeks and we live a stone throw away from each other!!! Id love to have it more often! but does he always come when you give him a bj? I know that some men cant. Feels nice, but the cant get there or somthing. Also he might just like the feeling of sex more, being close to you. But wow, he certainly has a high sex drive!! Talk to him. Make him see that you just dont have the same high sex drive. I guess if you do it so much so often you can loose the excitment... also, if your not in the mood for sex, how can you be in the mood to give him a bj?! lol, to me that would require more engery and work! lol. Link to comment
hazylynx Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 I just find them boring, I'm pretty sure they were good at their job but.. Link to comment
stephla Posted June 1, 2009 Author Share Posted June 1, 2009 i should be lucky to have a man who wants me that much? but seriously to have sex all day every day...it would feel like on the vacation for a week without it. and well i am in the mood for a bj probably always. i just like it, it gives me pleasure too but it can't always lead to sex. he comes every time so i'm suprised he started refusing it. i understand it's not as good as sex but it is something and at least i'm trying. what else can i do? this maybe doesn't look like a problem but i'm starting to doubt he'll cheat on me if i'm not satisfying him and he thinks i may be fooling around for not wanting him so much. we trust each other but still. and we talked about it so many times nothing has changed, or it did for awhile and then back to the old routine. Link to comment
top bloke Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Sounds to me he is at home all day. If he doesnt work and is well rested yes libido goes high but your guy is pretty much on the go. Are you 2 married? I cannot understand why he is not a little more understanding of you. Get him doing some work around the house to use his energy a little. If hes refusing a bj i think he is getting a bit greedy. Why does he act that way? No job? What do you think? Link to comment
stephla Posted June 1, 2009 Author Share Posted June 1, 2009 Sounds to me he is at home all day. If he doesnt work and is well rested yes libido goes high but your guy is pretty much on the go. Are you 2 married? I cannot understand why he is not a little more understanding of you. Get him doing some work around the house to use his energy a little. If hes refusing a bj i think he is getting a bit greedy. Why does he act that way? No job? What do you think? we both have jobs but his is not as stressful as mine. we're not married but been living together since just recently but it's always been this way. we're both active and have tons of energy but i can't keep up with him and i'm slowly loosing it. about the bj i think he's being resentful but yes could be greedy. Link to comment
CrazyKing Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Some just don't like it... Personally I find it slightly degrading for the woman, but I don't know why... Link to comment
yellowcal Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Most guys would choose intercourse over a bj any day. i think he's much more attracted to me than i am to him but i do love him. besides that, he says our sex life is great. Why are you married to someone who you aren't really attracted to? i agree but i'm starting to pull away bc i'm feeling so annoyed by it, so much i'm thinking how we should breakup bc this can't go on forever, which he thankfully thinks it's a foolish reason. and you're thinking of pulling away and breaking up because he doesn't want you to give him a blowjob? Link to comment
stephla Posted June 1, 2009 Author Share Posted June 1, 2009 Why are you married to someone who you aren't really attracted to? we're not married! i am attracted to him, he is just madly attracted to me. this should be flattering but here it's a problem. i feel suffocated. and you're thinking of pulling away and breaking up because he doesn't want you to give him a blowjob? lol! i can't stand him being all over me all time. i wanted to give myself a rest by giving him blowjobs. no one can help me with this? Link to comment
Kantriakhor Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 He likely knows that you just give him oral sex as a consolation in lieu of actual intercourse and that may come accross to him as you not being into it. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 lol! i can't stand him being all over me all time. i wanted to give myself a rest by giving him blowjobs. no one can help me with this? if bj is a restful activity then i could skip those too.....put some effort into it Link to comment
yellowcal Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 lol! i can't stand him being all over me all time. i wanted to give myself a rest by giving him blowjobs. no one can help me with this? What is there to help you with? He obviously doesn't prefer bj's over intercourse, thats his choice. Most guys (atleast guys I know anyway) are the same way. They'd much prefer sex over a bj. I also agree with the poster who said he probably has caught on that you are just trying to give a bj as sort of a replacement for sex and in turn bjs aren't as satisfying anymore. Why haven't you talked to him about it? You two are the only ones who can work this out. Also when you say you wanted to give yourself a rest by giving blowjobs because he's all over you all of the time? That really doesn't make much sense. Blowjobs are more work for the female than actual intercourse is so how are you giving yourself a "break" Link to comment
Knead2Know Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 if bj is a restful activity then i could skip those too.....put some effort into it LOL!!! Thank you midnightrambler.... To the OP- men can be dense but they can also be great at picking up if a woman is not that into sex with them... He wants some effort girl! Link to comment
stephla Posted June 1, 2009 Author Share Posted June 1, 2009 if bj is a restful activity then i could skip those too.....put some effort into it wow! i'm not being understood here. nevermind though, is there a way i can close this topic? it's not going anywhere. thanks. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 wow! i'm not being understood here. nevermind though, is there a way i can close this topic? it's not going anyhere. thanks. is he getting your best effort? Link to comment
yellowcal Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 wow! i'm not being understood here. nevermind though, is there a way i can close this topic? it's not going anyhere. thanks. You are getting advice and opinions, what else did you want? Everyone to tell you that a guy is just going to settle for blowjobs the rest of his life because you don't feel like having sex? There isn't anything else that can be said other than what has already been said. If you aren't being understood, then maybe you need to explain yourself more clearly. Everyone is responding to exactly what you posted. Link to comment
stephla Posted June 1, 2009 Author Share Posted June 1, 2009 is he getting your best effort? bottom line- yes!!!!! is there a grown up busy woman who could have sex up to 4 times a day every damn day for the 3 ongoing years! Link to comment
Kantriakhor Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 bottom line- yes!!!!! is there a grown up busy woman who could have sex up to 4 times a day every damn day for the 3 ongoing years! Probably, if she had a high sex drive. Communication is the key in most situations and you both need to sit down outside of the bedroom and talk about your sex drives, his is higher apparently and that doesn't mean either of you are in the wrong, it means that open, honest, and clear communication is needed to discuss this. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 bottom line- yes!!!!! is there a grown up busy woman who could have sex up to 4 times a day every damn day for the 3 ongoing years! not this side of the Mustang Ranch.......if you are giving him a solid and that can't hold him i guess you need to put saltpeter in his Wheaties or turn him on to Jim Beam Link to comment
stephla Posted June 1, 2009 Author Share Posted June 1, 2009 not this side of the Mustang Ranch.......if you are giving him a solid and that can't hold him i guess you need to put saltpeter in his Wheaties or turn him on to Jim Beam thank you! Link to comment
Knead2Know Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 not this side of the Mustang Ranch.......if you are giving him a solid and that can't hold him i guess you need to put saltpeter in his Wheaties or turn him on to Jim Beam LOL!!! Thank you again midnightrambler...... Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.