wgq Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 I have lived most of my adult years alone. I am in my middle thirties and my alone years amount to, let me see, around 11 years. I do not count in the time I was dating or merely talking with people and getting to know them. I really enjoy my alone years, very relaxed, motivated, content and happy with myself. Secretly after a certain age, around 30, I think to myself if I have the love of my life. Wow, then life is perfect. I have noticed that on ENA some people start to date very young. I am curious what's the longest time you have been single and how do you like your life when you are not in a relationship (I do not refer to the period when you are recently out of a relationship and still feel pains all over and are not over your ex). Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoneCrazy Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 I'm 20 and been single for 20yrs. I am very unhappy and cant seem to find anyone. Been on a rollercoaster for the past little while and its making things worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boarderguy1411 Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Im 21, have been single now since january after a 2.5 year relationship. Before that i had another 1 year relationship. When i was in myu last RL i really enjoyed being by myself because we spent all of our free time together. When we broke up, i couldnt help but feel lonely, but am getting used to being single again and am starting to like it. I can go out for a 4 hour bike ride and not have to "check in" sorta speak. Its nice to focus on self growth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Binoo Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 I'm 21 and I've been single for about a year and a half. At first I really enjoyed it but I am starting to like the idea of having a partner again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nixee Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Though I've dated and had my...er.. 'affairs' I guess we'll say.... I've not been in an official relationship for almost a year and a half now and I'm kinda at the point where I like it... funny how that works. Getting into a relationship at this point would honestly be an adjustment, almost a sacrifice and would really have to be for the right person.... I won't do it for just anyone. The old me might have done it just for the security blanket feeling of having someone. But now, I'm so comfortable with myself, I know myself, I'm happy, I have my own ambitions that I'm following full force. A real relationship would have to complement that I've learned, and not distract from it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hei Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 I'm 23, been single for 7ish years now. I'd like someone in my life, but I don't feel sorry for myself because I don't. I have my ups and downs as everyone does, but I'm comfortable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mca1975 Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 I'm 34 and am currently in a relationship now, but before that I was single for 5 years and lived alone, which was very hard. I was very lonely but I also had a great social life and friends to keep me busy. There are great things about being in a relationship, but you shouldn't take for granted the freedom you have when you are single, enjoy it while it lasts. For all of my life up to the age of 29, I was always in a relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wgq Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 HEMI, you are adult for only a couple years You have your whole life before you. I am sure you will find someone you adore Alika, I am glad you are starting to like being single. It's cool to focus on self growth. When I was about your age, almost all my roommates at college had boyfriends. Frankly I considered myself to be cool not having a boyfriend. For some reason, I thought of dating as too complicated and too adult. Now when I think back about it, I couldnt help laughing at myself. I was simply going through a prolonged childhood Binoo, when you were in a relationship, there's kind of happiness you cannot find when you are alone. I miss the time when I have someone in my life. btw, everytime I look at your avatar I sense chills sent down my spine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wgq Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 Though I've dated and had my...er.. 'affairs' I guess we'll say.... I've not been in an official relationship for almost a year and a half now and I'm kinda at the point where I like it... funny how that works. Getting into a relationship at this point would honestly be an adjustment, almost a sacrifice and would really have to be for the right person.... I won't do it for just anyone. The old me might have done it just for the security blanket feeling of having someone. But now, I'm so comfortable with myself, I know myself, I'm happy, I have my own ambitions that I'm following full force. A real relationship would have to complement that I've learned, and not distract from it. Yes, Nixee, in your words I find my voice too. I dont really have too much time and energy to go from one relationship to another. He has to the right person. I thought I was careful but I made my mistakes. But its never too late to learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wgq Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 I'm 23, been single for 7ish years now. I'd like someone in my life, but I don't feel sorry for myself because I don't. I have my ups and downs as everyone does, but I'm comfortable. hei, you sound mature for your age. Its nice to hear you are comfortable with your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wgq Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 I'm 34 and am currently in a relationship now, but before that I was single for 5 years and lived alone, which was very hard. I was very lonely but I also had a great social life and friends to keep me busy. There are great things about being in a relationship, but you shouldn't take for granted the freedom you have when you are single, enjoy it while it lasts. For all of my life up to the age of 29, I was always in a relationship. Hi mca when I hear people talking about the great things in a relationship my eyes get stary. I had been in short relationships. I know how great that feels to have a special one to love and know you are in his heart and mind. I sure do miss those great moments. I hope I can find love again and enter into a great and everlasting relationship. But before that happens, I will try all I can to make me happy on my own like the old me. I am starting to feel like the old me after a short cyber affair that didnt last long but was so intense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timetogrow Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Well, i am 26 years old. I have been single for a little bit over a year, having broken up with my ex gf because of incompatibility and LDR. Before this, I have been single for my entire adulthood, not being involved in any serious relationships. I feel lonely from time to time and have been looking for my loved one. I guess i am kinda of clingy and would love to find someone who is as clingy as me. lol. BTW, which part of China are you from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmdreamer7 Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 I am 25 years old, and have had one serious relationship in my life that was 3 years long. I have been single, however, for about 1.5 years now, and I LOVE it! When we first broke up, of course I was devastated and I actually hated being single. But after a couple of months, I realized all of the fun things that I could do alone, all the fun I could still have on my own... and so far, I love being single. I know that down the road that I'll want something serious and possibly marriage. But right now, I am content with my life, have focused on my career, my friends, and just having fun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wgq Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 Well, i am 26 years old. I have been single for a little bit over a year, having broken up with my ex gf because of incompatibility and LDR. Before this, I have been single for my entire adulthood, not being involved in any serious relationships. I feel lonely from time to time and have been looking for my loved one. I guess i am kinda of clingy and would love to find someone who is as clingy as me. lol. BTW, which part of China are you from? Haha timetogrow I wonder how would you react if you do find someone as clingy as you. What do they say in English? Like two peas in a pod High level of compatibility is very much needed in a sound relationship I am in Nanjing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wgq Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 I am 25 years old, and have had one serious relationship in my life that was 3 years long. I have been single, however, for about 1.5 years now, and I LOVE it! When we first broke up, of course I was devastated and I actually hated being single. But after a couple of months, I realized all of the fun things that I could do alone, all the fun I could still have on my own... and so far, I love being single. I know that down the road that I'll want something serious and possibly marriage. But right now, I am content with my life, have focused on my career, my friends, and just having fun! hmdreammer, you sound you are enjoying your single life greatly. Yes, I LOVE it too. I missed it so much especially after I was fresh out of a breakup that broke me into bits. I wish I could return to the old single me immediately Honestly I miss great moments in a relationship too, even if its just holding his hands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timetogrow Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Haha timetogrow I wonder how would you react if you do find someone as clingy as you. What do they say in English? Like two peas in a pod High level of compatibility is very much needed in a sound relationship I am in Nanjing. Yes, it's me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallgrand Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Though I've dated and had my...er.. 'affairs' I guess we'll say.... I've not been in an official relationship for almost a year and a half now and I'm kinda at the point where I like it... funny how that works. Getting into a relationship at this point would honestly be an adjustment, almost a sacrifice and would really have to be for the right person.... I won't do it for just anyone. The old me might have done it just for the security blanket feeling of having someone. But now, I'm so comfortable with myself, I know myself, I'm happy, I have my own ambitions that I'm following full force. A real relationship would have to complement that I've learned, and not distract from it. Wow, I'm in exactly that same boat. Only difference is I'm approaching 2 years on my own - but that's a minor difference, we are even the same age. This is the first time in my life where I've actually done the fully single-not actively involved with men or a single man thing (casual dating and friendships I'm not including) and it has been SO what I needed at this time in my life. Being single and fully embracing it, ironically, has me feeling more prepared for an honest relationship than I've ever felt or known before. At the same time, it's not something I feel a need to have (though if it comes along and it's right, I won't refuse!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nixee Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Being single and fully embracing it, ironically, has me feeling more prepared for an honest relationship than I've ever felt or known before. At the same time, it's not something I feel a need to have (though if it comes along and it's right, I won't refuse!). It's a nice feeling isn't it? It took me quite awhile to calm down an embrace it. For a long time I felt panicked and like I NEEDED a partner. And I admit, I still have my lonely moments, of course... I still long for a good partner, and a "big love" in my life, but I've just become sure of myself to the point that I know HOW to be alone, which is something I never previously knew how to do, and I think past relationships definitely suffered for that. It a good 'skill' to have learned and I'm grateful for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkone121 Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 I've been single all my life. I think I'd be more ok with it if I had been a relationship before versus never knowing what it feels like to be in love with someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wgq Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 Hi darkone, I think otherwise. I think that I would be more ok with being single if I had never been in a relationship. I hope to be in love again. You have time to be in love, darkone, dont lose hope. I talk to myself even if I am 80 and single, I would still be dreaming of finding love. Love will come to you and never lose your hope and dream of looking for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveseer Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 I'm 45 and I've been single more than I've been in relationships. It occurred to me today that maybe I'm just not cut out to share. I plan to be single at least until my children are raised anyway. By the time they are independent I will probably be too set in my ways to get too involved with anyone. I have very little to offer someone in the way of free time because I tend to fill every moment with activity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 i've been single over a year now. started back at college again. i can focus my time on school and my money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wgq Posted May 21, 2009 Author Share Posted May 21, 2009 I'm 45 and I've been single more than I've been in relationships. It occurred to me today that maybe I'm just not cut out to share. I plan to be single at least until my children are raised anyway. By the time they are independent I will probably be too set in my ways to get too involved with anyone. I have very little to offer someone in the way of free time because I tend to fill every moment with activity. Nice new name!! Waveseer, I am glad I still recognize you, wise woman. You sound a great mom. I wish I can have a family of my own some day with someone I love before it's too late. It seems really difficult to meet someone I connect physically, emotionally and spiritually. Or am I asking for too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wgq Posted May 21, 2009 Author Share Posted May 21, 2009 i've been single over a year now. started back at college again. i can focus my time on school and my money. Good for you, ghost. I wish I had at least done some dating when I was at college, even just for practise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveseer Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 Nice new name!! Waveseer, I am glad I still recognize you, wise woman. You sound a great mom. I wish I can have a family of my own some day with someone I love before it's too late. It seems really difficult to meet someone I connect physically, emotionally and spiritually. Or am I asking for too much. Thanks, I resisted the urge to make an announcement but just in case I put my old avatar back. lol I am as good a mom as I know how to be right now. I'm sure I will get better at it until the day I die. I didn't quite live the "with someone I love" part, but better luck next lifetime. I don't think you are asking for too much. If I had it to do over I would have taken the time to discover my passions first and then found a like-minded man with whom setting lifelong priorities would have been a much simpler process. When you love to do the same things it becomes far easier to understand each other and negotiations are vastly easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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