casey08 Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Hi everyone, Just wanted some help and tips on what I can do in my situation. Me and my ex split up as he loves me but isnt in love with me. Im meeting up with him on Friday. The attraction is still there and he tells me he still loves me but how can i get the passion back and get him to fall back in love with me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy Toad Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Do you really want to? If so, then the first step is to not meet up with him on Friday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casey08 Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 But if i dont meet up with him how will he be able to fall back in love with me when hes not seeing me? I was thinking is there anything i can do when i meet up with him that can help? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy Toad Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 But if i dont meet up with him how will he be able to fall back in love with me when hes not seeing me? I was thinking is there anything i can do when i meet up with him that can help? Casey, by seeing him on Friday, you will do the exact opposite of what you are trying to do. You need to give him time to start reminiscing about all the things he did love about you. Give him the opportunity to actually miss you, miss seeing you, and miss the little and big things about you. Seeing him on Friday will not do that, and it is likely you will say or do things that will hurt your chances even more. The absolute BEST thing you can, is to not contact him at ALL. You must be counter intuitive in these situations. Basically do the exact OPPOSITE to what you feel you need to be doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionquack Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 exactly.....do the exact opposite. Give him a chance to miss you and think about you and reminice. If your really going to go through with it though...dress really sexy!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanzi Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 casey, Gready Toad is right. You need to be mysterious and not available. If he is still interested then his interest will be heightened and he will start to worry what you are up to and then, possibly, if he has lost you. Having said all of that, it may be a good idea to try to keep an open mind on the fact that he may never come back, however, by doing all the above you are certainly increasing your chances. Its all about gaining their interest. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smartalex Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 If you really feel that you cant be without meeting him... meet him for less than 5 mins... it will be even better if you can take along a new friend tell him that you have to go along with this new friend and that you guys have great plans for the evening and the week-end. And as lionquack writes, do dress up most sexily. All the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leixling Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 watch this anime! and don't meet up with him..link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
longdist Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Dont' meet up. Your ex needs to come to the realization that he has to make a decision to be in love with someone and not just love them. You don't have a constant feeling of being in love with someone when you're together for a long time. You may love them though and have to leverage that to make an effort to "be in love." Until your ex comes to that realization, he will be fickle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 I'm probably the odd one out here, but I have always believed that you cannot make someone fall in love with you. It has to come from THEM. No matter what you do or say, if HE doesn't feel it, then it won't work (imo). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenniferSNJ Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 I'm not sure if I agree with everyone else. You're trying to play a predictor game of "well if she sees him he will or will not fall in love with her." You guys really don't know either way. And neither do you Casey. Do what you feel is best. You should meet on Friday and if it seems he does not have those feelings for you or could not have those feelings for you again then you need to commit yourself to move on. Why are you guys encouraging her to do something that might not only (1) backfire but (2) permit her from getting any closure? >>> trying to remain mysterious is hopeless at this point. He already knows who she is. Think realistically. You can't force someone to fall in love with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanzi Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 I'm probably the odd one out here, but I have always believed that you cannot make someone fall in love with you. It has to come from THEM. No matter what you do or say, if HE doesn't feel it, then it won't work (imo). No you can't make someone love you who clearly doesn't. But if it is unclear, from either side or both sides, then there could be a chance that you could gain their interest back instead of pushing them further away. You just need to keep an open mind that they may really be ready to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 You just need to keep an open mind that they may really be ready to move on. I agree with that. Sometimes people are just in denial and can't accept that their SO broke up with them. If someone is ready to move on, then not much will stop them, imo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PushingDaisies Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 You can't force someone to fall back in love with you I'm afraid. And do you really want to put on a persona to try and win him back, and then have him fall in love with this false you? Saying that, I got my ex back. The best thing to do is not act needy. If he tries to make plans with you, say you cant do that time but you will let him know when you do have time. Dont sit around waiting for him and hanging on his call, go out, have fun, and show him you are an independent girl who doesnt need him around in order to have fun. Greedy Toad and Jellybaby41 have it right. Also read this artical by majord23 - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanzi Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 I'm not sure if I agree with everyone else. You're trying to play a predictor game of "well if she sees him he will or will not fall in love with her." You guys really don't know either way. And neither do you Casey. Do what you feel is best. You should meet on Friday and if it seems he does not have those feelings for you or could not have those feelings for you again then you need to commit yourself to move on. Why are you guys encouraging her to do something that might not only (1) backfire but (2) permit her from getting any closure? >>> trying to remain mysterious is hopeless at this point. He already knows who she is. Think realistically. You can't force someone to fall in love with you. She asked for some tips on getting an ex back and thats exactly what she got ... but like I added and have said again, above, she does need to keep an open mind on the fact that he may never come back and that eventually she may have to accept that and move on. But you are right she will need closure at some point if that is the case.... maybe she isn't ready to accept closure just yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Binoo Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Well, as far as making him fall in love with you, it's not a sure thing no matter what you do. But I'm going to have to disagree with the majority and say, meet up with him and have a discussion about there being any future. I would just be upfront and honest about everything. Personally, if I were the ex and you cancelled plans, made dates with other men [ and told me in an attempt to make me jealous ] etc. , this would really put me off and I'd probably assume you were no longer interested in me. And even if you were, I'd be very turned off by this behaviour. That's just me though... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PushingDaisies Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Personally, if I were the ex and you cancelled plans, made dates with other men [ and told me in an attempt to make me jealous ] etc. , this would really put me off and I'd probably assume you were no longer interested in me. And even if you were, I'd be very turned off by this behaviour. That's just me though... I agree, if you already have plans you should go through with them rather than cancelling and making plans with someone else, as that will have an adverse effect. He will likely think he is less important on your list of priorities than your other friends, not what you want. However, I wouldnt lay everything out on the table and ask if he wants to go back out. Take it slow. If he wants to start things back up he will, but if he isnt in the same place and you ask him if he wants start dating he will probably back off a bit, and youll end up scaring him away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IMAbadman Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Meet up with guy, I mean what the heck. You won't know unless you try. If the conversation doesn't sound promising as in he feels he's made a mistake, wants to get back together, etc..., cut the conversation/meeting short tell him you have something going on and excuse yourself. Then wait until he contacts you again. Casey... judging by your post I'm guessing you're quite young, 17-18 maybe. If this is the case there's a very good chance this guy is looking for nothing more than a FWB, Friend With Benefits. Basically he dumped you and now he still wants to have sex with you but have no strings attached. I'm sure you're an intelligent girl, but remaining his friend and/or sleeping with him will NOT get you back together with him. He'll lose all respect for you because you'll become 'easy' in his eyes. Point is... meet with him, feel out the situation, take it slow.... and keep your panties on woman. At least for 3 or more dates. K. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanzi Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Point is... meet with him, feel out the situation, take it slow.... and keep your panties on woman. At least of 3 or more dates. K. IMAbadman ... you do make me smile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IMAbadman Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 IMAbadman ... you do make me smile Thanks hun... I'll be here all week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellie999 Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 seriously, play hard to get. if you see him now its not going to help. as much as that sucks, and as stupid as it sounds, its the truth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agtc Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 I agree with the others. If he feels you are moving on with your life without him, he may question his decision. This requires you to be elusive. How the heck will the ex know if/when you've "move on"? it's back to the "6th sense" issue...curious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IMAbadman Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 How the heck will the ex know if/when you've "move on"? it's back to the "6th sense" issue...curious Well when you aren't around or acting like a little lap dog humping his leg it'll dawn on him, "Gee... what happended to _____?" He'll come sniffing around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agtc Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 and to answer your Q : you cannot make someone like you/fall in love with you. your ex bf has to come to this realization on his own accord without force. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agtc Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Well when you aren't around or acting like a little lap dog humping his leg it'll dawn on him, "Gee... what happended to _____?" He'll come sniffing around. And this takes monthssss to sink in, right? I don't think this even applies if they're seeing someone new. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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