chick Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Has anyone else been in this situation: I have been in a relationship for the past 6 years with what I believed to be the love of my life. We had a child together and two weeks ago I told him it was over. He had cheated on me in many ways (many ways he doesn't acknowledge as cheating). He was either loving or distant. Since the separation we have been better. He lives somewhere else now and visits our child and me regularly. We are starting to find our connection again, but I have my concerns that I may be 'roped' back into a false reality where I felt undervalued and undermined. Whilst we are both technically single now I know it is none of my business as to what he does in his spare time and whomever he does that with, but I just wonder will it ever stop. The women... I can't help but feel that even if we do reconcile, that he is going to repeat the same patterns eventually, when things start to stale again. Am I being cynical, is it my woman's intuition or am I being paranoid. How many people consider talking on the internet with the opposite gender in a flirty and sometimes sexually suggestive and explicit manner as cheating? Especially with people that you know in real life. This is all so fresh and whilst I've known it is for the best I can't help but feel still so hurt and betrayed and completely disrespected because the behaviour continues in one manner or another. In one voice, he says how important I am to him and how much he still loves me and wants to work on our relationship - then in the same breath he is giving other women amazing compliments that are not what I find appropriate. That says to me that he doesn't care about how I feel or that the only reason he wants me back is it is familiar and it is security for him as a constant. I can't believe how lonley I feel right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pixiedoc Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Whether he has NPD or whether he is just a complete a****ole he has still put you through more than anyone should have to go through. Do not under any circumstances go back to him. I'm sorry that you're feeling lonely, and these feelings will eventually lessen, but if you focus on your child, and limit any contact with him to when he sees his child, you will get through this. Just remember what it was like being mis-treated - would you really want to go back to that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 He did and continues to do something outside of your boundaries. The break up didn't change that. At this point, you need to walk away as there are no discernable changes in his actions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riotgenius Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Whether he has NPD or whether he is just a complete a****ole he has still put you through more than anyone should have to go through. Do not under any circumstances go back to him. I'm sorry that you're feeling lonely, and these feelings will eventually lessen, but if you focus on your child, and limit any contact with him to when he sees his child, you will get through this. Just remember what it was like being mis-treated - would you really want to go back to that? Totally agree with Pixie - lose him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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