Are you introverted, and LIKE the way you are?

[Double J]

In a world predominantly made up of extraverts, it can sometimes be an arduous task for introverts like me to fit into fast-paced work environments, elbow-rubbing social functions, and other settings that cater to outgoing types.

 

I know there are other eNotaloners who are content sitting quietly behind a desk from 9 to 5, having a small circle of friends, and relishing the simple things in life--from curling up with a good book on a Friday night to going for solitary walks around the neighborhood.

 

So my question is this, and I'm looking for honest answers:

 

Do you enjoy being an introvert and accept that while some may label you as reticent, awkward, or cocky, you genuinely value the personality you were born with?

 

Have you acquiesed to societal pressures to change who you are, or have you stood firm and managed to live a good life as one true to himself/herself?

[erase this face]

Do you enjoy being an introvert and accept that while some may label you as reticent, awkward, or cocky, you genuinely value the personality you were born with?

 

For the most part.

 

Have you acquiesed to societal pressures to change who you are, or have you stood firm and managed to live a good life as one true to himself/herself?

 

Yes I've stood firm, remaining true to myself.

[shes2smart]

I'm so anti-social it borders on comical.

 

I used to say my favorite part of being a radio DJ (which I was for 25 years) was spending 5 hours a day in a small room BY MYSELF. Now my goal is to do enough freelance voiceover work out of my home and only deal with people via email and on the phone. Not doing enough to have it be my full time/only job yet....but that day is coming.

 

Even at my "pays the bills" office job, I work in the afternoon and evening and am the only one in this department for most of my shift.I can't be anything other than what I am. Spent some time in my 20's and early 30's trying to be more outgoing/friendly. Mostly it made my life uncomfortable. I've learned to embrace my inner curmudgeon. Oddly enough, people I do have to interact with seem to like that more than the fake-outgoing thing. Something about "being real"......

[sbux_addict]

I used to be introverted...and painfully, awkwardly shy. But then realized that being one never got me to where I wanted to be, career wise at least. I know there are different types of people, and while you can be introverted and still be successful, I believe that in order for you to be in any leadership position, you'd have to be extroverted or assertive enough. So I forced myself to be one. You just really have to because I wanted to be seen as a leader. I'm still a work in progress, but I've definitely changed a whole lot compared to how I was. I'm much more outgoing now!

[erase this face]

^ and the extroverts have already taken over. /end thread

[JusticeLaw9]

I am like an Anti-loner type. I am not at all shy or introverted because I can be very assertive, spontaneous and possess that go-getter of a mentality. But then there are those days when I don't feel this way and I prefer to be left alone and just want to be to myself.

[StrawberryYogurt]

I love being an introvert despite the fact that we are somewhat discrimnated against. Just cannot imagine doing all these social type things, esp work related ones since they bore and tire me most of the time. People think I'm somewhat cocky, maybe I am, but whatever.

[Double J]

I know there are different types of people, and while you can be introverted and still be successful, I believe that in order for you to be in any leadership position, you'd have to be extroverted or assertive enough.

 

What about those, like myself, who don't want to become leaders and would rather settle for positions lower in the chain of command?

 

I love being an introvert despite the fact that we are somewhat discrimnated against. Just cannot imagine doing all these social type things, esp work related ones since they bore and tire me most of the time. People think I'm somewhat cocky, maybe I am, but whatever.

 

I couldn't agree with you more. I had a job that required me to do such things as reach out to the media and plan events -- tasks that can make an introvert's job a complete nightmare. My ideal job would be one where I can just stay in the office. I don't mind having to interact with others as far as work is concerned, but too many meetings with large groups of people can do a number on me.

[sosilver]

I am introverted, and I like being that way. It doesnt bother me when people make comments like, you are soo shy or you seem distant, some people even assume I am being rude. But as long as the people who matter know me, I am fine. I dont try to go out of may way to socialize if it makes me uncomfortable...

[caro33]

What makes you think that most people are extraverts?

 

Surely you must have heard that old line that when surveyed most people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of death?

 

It also comes down to what we mean by extravert and introvert. There is going to be a huge spectrum. People can be dysfunctional at either end and both extreme types are likely to be unhappy as a result.

 

Anyway, I am an introvert, as I assume many people here on ENA will be. I am fine with it I suppose. I was less fine with it when I was younger. I respect my thought processes and my need to be alone, and as I have aged I have realised that so many of those people who I had always assumed were happy and oblivious to the stuff that upset me in life were in fact likely to be just as conflicted as I was, just as insecure, but not as honest about it.

 

I guess the key as I see it is to chill out about yourself as much as possible, and stop making assumptions about others. Realise that even if you don't fit in to your current environment, it's not an indictment on you, it's just that you are in the wrong environment. There will be a social group and a career for the greatest of extraverts and for the most quiet of introverts.

 

The other thing I guess I would advise is if you feel that you are limited by your tendencies to introversion and it makes you unhappy, stretch yourself a little. For example, I worked for many years in a call centre while I was at Uni, and that forced interaction with many many strangers every shift was pretty good at making me confident with dealing with random issues with random people. I tutored a couple of classes at Uni too - this is me who had previously failed subjects rather than do a brief (mandatory) talk in front of a small group. I found that I was actually pretty good at leading a class. Now I am never going to feel comfortable with this stuff, but walking away from a talk in front of peers and knowing that after an inevitable shaky start I was actually pretty good has helped me to avoid defining myself as an introvert who cannot do certain things.

[quirky]

This is strange because it depends on who I'm with. When I feel comfortable with people I can act insane! But with the wrong people-usually extremely outgoing but oddly enough inhibited- I just withdraw cos I find it boring and fake. So overall I've heard people of "my" kind to find me extremely warm and hilarious, and the FAN-TA-STIC!! people to find me distant and strange.

 

I have stood firm to my beliefs and been true to myself which gives such satisfaction and also strength of character because noone can manipulate you.

[Capricorn3]

I'm an introvert too and very happy with it. I have been this way all my life and nothing has changed. I will admit though that during my childhood and teen years I was painfully shy and it WAS awful. However, over time I came to accept the way I am and the lder I get the happier I am with my life. I have a close group of friends and family close by and that's all I need. I am content. I avoid social events like the plague because I simply don't enjoy them and I can't stand the "small talk" that goes on there - it's so fake it's unbelievable, lol. I also don't drink and it seems people can't handle someone who doesn't drink - they look at me like I'm from another planet. (I probably am and happy that way).

 

I prefer my introverted life and am extremely content and happy.

[Double J]

I also don't drink and it seems people can't handle someone who doesn't drink - they look at me like I'm from another planet. (I probably am and happy that way).

 

I prefer my introverted life and am extremely content and happy.

 

You remind me so much of myself. I don't drink either, and most people think a 24 year old guy who doesn't drink is bizarre.

 

It's great that so many of us accept our personalities with dignity and defy what society says people should do or how they should act.

[Capricorn3]

You remind me so much of myself. I don't drink either, and most people think a 24 year old guy who doesn't drink is bizarre.

I know the feeling. People look down on me because I don't drink and think I'm a freak. They always ask questions like: "How can you have fun at a party if you don't drink!!!??". They are genuinely shocked. I ask them: "What's fun about waking up in a gutter the next morning, or puking all night, or blacking out and not remembering what you did or where you were the night before??" They look at me in disgust and turn away, lol.

 

I prefer my happy, content introverted lifestyle, lol.

[catfeeder]

As I mature, I become more and more introverted. I realized at some point that over the course of my life I was only extroverted when I was most insecure--I was overcompensating.

 

What a relief to just relax and go invisible. I'm a better friend, a more productive worker and a thousand times happier this way.

 

I don't believe that 'most' people are extraverts, only the ones you notice. Of course, attention-seeking is exactly that--the folks who squeak the loudest tend to suck all the air from the room, and so you might feel a bit outnumbered. But so what?

 

I always believed I'd miss something by jumping off the party-go-round. Not true. I can opt to jump on it again at any time without having missed a thing--same people or ones just like 'em, same dramas or ones just as tired, same sameness. So what's to miss?

 

Stay your course, and enjOy.

[caro33]

I know the feeling. People look down on me because I don't drink and think I'm a freak. They always ask questions like: "How can you have fun at a party if you don't drink!!!??". They are genuinely shocked. I ask them: "What's fun about waking up in a gutter the next morning, or puking all night, or blacking out and not remembering what you did or where you were the night before??" They look at me in disgust and turn away, lol.

 

I prefer my happy, content introverted lifestyle, lol.

 

While I respect your right to not drink, and recognise that you should not have to justify this choice, it's not like all people who drink wake up in a gutter the next morning, or puke all night, or black out. Many people are able to drink responsibly, and it's a bit absolute to see your options as either righteous teetotalling or pass-out drunk.

 

That's the thing about this introvert/extravert argument as well - it seems to hinge a lot on people who identify themselves as introverted feeling alienated by the people around them and making all sorts of assumptions. It's not "us and them" with these things.

[Capricorn3]

While I respect your right to not drink, and recognise that you should not have to justify this choice, it's not like all people who drink wake up in a gutter the next morning, or puke all night, or black out. Many people are able to drink responsibly, and it's a bit absolute to see your options as either righteous teetotalling or pass-out drunk..

Oh, I totally agree with you!!! To clarify: I didn't mean it that way, that ALL people who drink get drunk etc. Not at all! I made that comment to that specific group of people who just happened to behave that way every single weekend, at every single party they ever attended. They thought that getting drunk outta their minds was fun, and they said "People who don't drink shouldn't mix with drinkers".

 

Sorry for any misunderstandings.

[catfeeder]

[...] They thought that getting drunk outta their minds was fun, and they said "People who don't drink shouldn't mix with drinkers".

[...]

 

Hah! How about "People who don't drink shouldn't mix with people who are out of their minds?"

 

For the right company, I'd consider, "People who don't drink should help out and mix the drinks..." and, as for "passing out" I do like to carry a tray of food to pass around. The best way to make myself invisible is to make myself useful. The time passes quickly, I enjoy myself, and I still get to remain pretty silent.