shenn Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Before I caught him my boyfriend was adding girls to his myspace and then trying to talk to them all of the time. He talked regularly with a few and was very flirtatious. He even regularly spoke to one on the phone and through texts telling her she is so amazing and being flirty. I think he may have sent a picture of himself to her. Anyway, is this considered cheating? I figure people will disagree about it, I just want to see what the majority vote is. Also, do people with this type of flirty nature change? Any personal experiences? Especially if you have/had a flirty nature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WickedSunrise Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 No personal experience but I would not be okay with that, at all. It's emotional cheating even if it isn't physical. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lila... Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 That's more than just flirting, that's crossing the line! I would NOT be ok with that. Why would he do that unless he wasn't totally happy in the relationship? He's being disrespetful to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Girl wants EX Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 If someone out there who he might fall in love with, will he dump you? do you have the confidence in your relationship? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SapphireNoir10 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Yep my ex did this. Added girls and flirted with them, and, added the 'flirt' application. It contributed to the demise of our relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daligal83 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 That crosses the line of flirting. It's one thing if he's out and just casually flirts with a girl. It's another to seek them out and purposefully start regular communication like that. He may not have physically cheated yet, but I bet that's how it starts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lady00 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 That's not flirting. That's just inappropriate. I know some guys that flirt with me sometimes and they have girlfriends but it's never to this extent. It's always just being silly and goofing off. But this is something extra. If he wants to keep you, he should have better judgment than this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaea Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Flirting is cheating's ugly cousin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velvette Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 ^well put. my dad was a huge flirt. still is. people don't change. my mom believed his good qualities was worth sticking around for, even when he took on other women and had other babies etc. they're still happily married, in some odd sort of way. it really depends on what you'd be willing to put up with. I won't stand for flirting, especially actively seeking another out and sending pics/flirty messages! although, I may be guilty of having my dad's genes/personality. ): thankfully my sex drive is too low for me to seriously cheat or anything like that! but yeah, if it doesn't sit well with you, he should either respect you enough to stop, or get kicked to the curb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shenn Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 When I confronted him about it he cried and said he was so sorry and that he would never do it again... But, since then I haven't been able to be nice to him because I don't trust him now. And even though he swears he will behave himself now, I don't know if people like this are able to change. He says that at the time he "expected something more from our relationship but that he was just being really stupid". I don't even know what that means. Nothing was wrong with our relationship. He is the type of guy that is always checking out other girls and commenting on their physical appearance. He's very superficial in that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daligal83 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Why don't you ask him what he meant by that comment? Sounds like something is missing for him and he may be trying to find it elsewhere, but doesn't want to lose you at the same time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
needadvice1607308048 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 I think that its ok to be slightly flirty as in just looking at guys and stuff like that but once you go further than that its more like cheating Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shenn Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 I actually did ask him right when he said it and he told me that he was "just being stupid" and he "has no right to expect anything" from me and that "I do so much" for him. And I do. I've had to financially support him for the past eight months and take care of him due to his health. His last girlfriend broke up with him because he was in such bad health and I met him a year ago and felt bad for him so I picked up the slack. I thought he was such a kind and loving person, and he is, but then there is this almost * * * * ty side to him. I'm thinking maybe he just said he expected more as an excuse or something. I'm wondering if he isn't just promiscuous and too into sex, or the idea of it... I really don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daligal83 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 I don't know, I'd ask him again. Even if he thinks it's stupid and realizes it isn't realistic, it's still a thought in his head. Might also help you move past this if you knew the reasons for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shenn Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 Good advice. I just have to think of a way to bring it up without making him get defensive about it. I don't think he will be honest otherwise. But thank you for the help in the matter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daligal83 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Maybe something like "I know you said it was stupid, but I want to make sure that we are both happy in this relationship. Even if the specific thought was unrealistic, maybe if we talked about it we could figure out the root of what made it get to that point so we can try to make sure it won't happen again" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shenn Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 Good idea! I'll try it tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikem Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 It's cheating. If anything it's leading in that direction. Better to 'nip it at the bud'. I'd move on if he refuses to change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 I agree with the others. You have to set good (ie. reasonably high) relationship standards for youself (that you will not allow your partners to break) early on in the game. That's how you meet a good guy. You refuse to let the crap ones waste your time.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laisla Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 if he wouldn't do that in front of you then it's cheating. yes i think that's cheating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shenn Posted May 11, 2009 Author Share Posted May 11, 2009 Very good point! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iceman26 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Flirting is cheating's ugly cousin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiethatela Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 Not all flirting is a form of cheating. Some persons who flirts to other guys or girls are just merely a friendly thing. BUT, if you partner is already doing some nasty things to some other girls, then it must be cheating. To know if your partner is cheating on you, try link removed, there are some tips on how to handle it. Look for this title "How will I know if my partner's cheating on me?". Keep safe! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kantriakhor Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 If your SO would not act that way in front of you, it's bordering cheating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
george262 Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 This is not acceptable behaviour!! Not only is it cheating, it is actively looking elsewhere. You need to nip this in the bud asap and have serious talks with him. I would most definitely be annoyed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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