Ex Back Through The Laws of Attraction (DNS' Original Post)

[justletgo07]

I think people generally get the wrong idea about the laws of attraction. Positive people tend to attract positive things into their lives, but it doesn't negate or counteract the free will of others. By being positive, upbeat, and confident you're more likely to attract your ex back than if you continue to sulk and wallow in your sorrow and misery. That's all there is to it, IMO.

 

Just like other "Get Your Ex Back" strategies, this one is a far cry from a guarunteed fix. Everyone's best bet is to let go of their fear of letting go and work on getting themselves back.

[HoldingHope]

This thread was a big help to me and I am learning about LOA now. I think it is possible about attracting an ex back without the free will thing coming into play. It brought great hope.

[openbook4]

This thread was a big help to me and I am learning about LOA now. I think it is possible about attracting an ex back without the free will thing coming into play. It brought great hope.

 

But it's also very important that you always keep in mind that there is the possibility that it doesn't always work, and be ready for the let down if it comes.

[HoldingHope]

LOA is believing without a doubt that things are on its way to you. I choose not to let any negativity come into my thinking if possible. But too, in this time, it is about growing as a person and making yourself complete and happy...putting yourself on a pedastal and not being dependent on another person making you happy.

 

Ask and it is given.

[openbook4]

LOA is believing without a doubt that things are on its way to you. I choose not to let any negativity come into my thinking if possible. But too, in this time, it is about growing as a person and making yourself complete and happy...putting yourself on a pedastal and not being dependent on another person making you happy.

 

Ask and it is given.

 

Yes. But it is a mind game of it's own. Reality = anything can happen. What it really comes down to:

 

Is fate real?

Do things happen for a reason?

Is there such a thing as "mean to be"?

OR

Is our actions and what we do what controls are fate, which ultimately, creates what is meant to be.

 

But you can't believe in both, as they are conflicting beliefs. IMO. It's been a mystery for as long as people have been kickin.. and i really don't think it will ever be explained.

[FriendnorFoe]

overall good stuff, hes defintley right when he says most people arnt in any shape to get their ex back usually when they think they are, however even if you are healed from the old relationship, worked on your self and contact your ex hinting at meeting up(like I was and did) it dosent cover the topic of your ex being in a rebound, which dosent matter how much work you have done you just need to leave her alone, you cant steal her away like the movies.

[openbook4]

overall good stuff, hes defintley right when he says most people arnt in any shape to get their ex back usually when they think they are, however even if you are healed from the old relationship, worked on your self and contact your ex hinting at meeting up(like I was and did) it dosent cover the topic of your ex being in a rebound, which dosent matter how much work you have done you just need to leave her alone, you cant steal her away like the movies.

 

That's what i had asked. If you completed the LOA, and were completley fine.. what if the ex is with another person at that time? Would the love you had with him/her be strong enough for them to take you back? heh..

[DaveTrump]

Nice Post. It taps in to some quite deep, but universal truths. I fully agree, it is indirectness that makes the ex wonder about you - not sending millions of gifts and love letters. I think it's a flowery version of "move on and she will want you back"

 

I've always maintained moving on is the best form of payback - not a direct type of vengence but a healthy and positive approach.

 

The thing is with moving on is that if it is in place and you're very happy and feeling 100 times better than before, then why on earth would you want you ex back?

 

Moving on is finding your strong independent self with all previous traits removed so going back would be a negative move towards yourself as you deserve "better". That's what I think.

[iamnot]

I recently dumped my ex because she did something that I couldn't really forgive. We have spoken to each to each other quite a lot, and we both obviously care for each other very much, and both of us still miss each other a lot. I made the mistake of being heartbroken and doing all of the things that this article says pushes the other person away, and it does. It's annoying, time consuming, and in the end just hurts both of us.

 

Now I don't go as far as to wake up and tell myself I'm an amazing person, but from the moment I stopped caring about what my ex was doing and started going out and having fun, I began to get more interest from my ex when we did speak to each other.

 

If I said that I was busy on the night, or told her of all the things that I had done at the weekend, then she did become more interested in seeing me.

 

I'm not saying that this plan is gold dust and will work in every situation, and to be honest things are still very rocky between the two of us, but reading things like this did really help me clear my head.

 

For those of you who say that it doesn't always work and it's giving false hope, I feel that you need to stop looking at the negative side to this argument.

 

If it wasn't meant to be with your ex, then following this little message will do you no harm, because you'll be out and about, meeting people and doing things, and it's in those times that your more likely to meet someone new.

 

If you're moping around at home thinking life is awful, that nothing you do will win back your love, then your missing the point. If you go out and have fun and start to find what made you happy without a girl (or boy) then it MAY invite the ex back, but it also gives you a great opportunity to meet someone else.

 

It's a really hard fact, but often the best way to move on from someone, is to find someone new.

 

I'm not at that stage personally, but I'm aware that it may be the outcome.

 

I hope above all things that I can win my ex back to a point where we can start a new kind of relationship. One where we both give each other space and room to live our lives, because it makes the times when we're together more special rather than the norm.

 

I give full credit to the person that wrote this article. He didn't do it for any monetary gain, nor to put anyone down. He did it to pick people up, maybe give them a glimmer of hope as to the reason to get out and start doing things, but ultimately to get people to feel better about themselves.

 

I know I feel better about myself.

 

As for why I want her back....

 

The times we had together were the most content times that I have had. No one makes me laugh like she can. And she really is the most beautiful girl I have ever met. And I would like to see if we can make things work differently.

 

I'll come to terms with it if it doesn't happen. For now, I just wanna see if there is anything worth saving. And the only way to find out is to try. Or not try as this article points out….

[minou]

Someone very dear sent me this link. I want to give it a bump. Good luck everyone.

[jonyyy]

Just came accross this post on google and there's something that I really don't understand.

 

If the LoA says that Like attracts Like odds are that your girlfriend has a similar personality with yours i.e. if you are reserved and shy, she is too; if you're confident and loud, she's too.

 

So how come you becoming a different person, usually labeled as "the best of you" or "improving yourself", from your girlfriend, will make her feel atracted to you again?!

[snappy5]

How is this different from any other makeup guide?

 

Find yourself and rediscover your happiness will make you attractive to anyone, let alone someone who actually loved you.

 

Be self sufficient, attractive, exuberant, etc. That'll keep the relationship going.

 

So what is new exactly other than how ecstatic the author seems at trying to persuade you this is the way to go?

[doicare]

I love this post! It is a touch cheesy, but it's exactly how I feel and have attracted exes back.

 

1) I rediscover my confidence and love for myself and the life I want to live

 

2) I do things like exercise and make myself better than I have been and closer to what I know I have the power to become - very empowering

 

3) Congruently I let go of my ex, to the point where I care for her, but I know I'll be just as fine with her as I will without her.

 

4) I contact her because I care, and want to have a good moment to share with her for myself. The outcome of her coming back is not what I focus on, but rather creating a good moment for us at that time. If those moments come back then you're on your way, if not then that's ok too.

 

If things go well, it's a new start.

 

All these posts I think are great, the nonchalence one, this one, and others. This in no way promotes neediness but rather the opposite. I know most will shoot it down but I disagree, when you feel great about yourself, this is exactly what draws people to you. Something to always keep in mind.

[Reflective82]

This won't have any effect apart from making the individual a better person- you could do all this and they would still not be interested

[jonyyy]

I'm not questioning the merits of the OP in regards to healing, getting self confidence, getting back in the game etc.

 

I'm questioning the permise of the LoA argument. If Like attracts Like it doesn't make much sense to me that if you deliberatly change your personality, you will likely attract back your Ex precisely because you will be a different person from what she initially was attracted.

 

By changing who you are and who she used to know and be attracted in the first place, you will be doing the opposite of which the LoA states! What am I missing here?

[doicare]

I'm not questioning the merits of the OP in regards to healing, getting self confidence, getting back in the game etc.

 

I'm questioning the permise of the LoA argument. If Like attracts Like it doesn't make much sense to me that if you deliberatly change your personality, you will likely attract back your Ex precisely because you will be a different person from what she initially was attracted.

 

By changing who you are and who she used to know and be attracted in the first place, you will be doing the opposite of which the LoA states! What am I missing here?

 

Im not sure how this isnt clear. When we met our exes, we were good, confident people. What the OP is suggesting is not only do you get that back, but also that you become even better, by a) improving yourself and b) not being a co-dependent suck up. It's not like you're fundametnally changing your personality, it's just improving your self image, adn getting you to take it up to the next level.

 

Speaking of which Ive been meaning to walk down to the corner where there is a crossfit gym - (it's freezing though - 20celcius, or -3 or 4 Fehrenheit). I'll do it a this eve after I finish up my work day.

[jonyyy]

Im not sure how this isnt clear. When we met our exes, we were good, confident people. What the OP is suggesting is not only do you get that back, but also that you become even better, by a) improving yourself and b) not being a co-dependent suck up. It's not like you're fundametnally changing your personality, it's just improving your self image, adn getting you to take it up to the next level.

 

Speaking of which Ive been meaning to walk down to the corner where there is a crossfit gym - (it's freezing though - 20celcius, or -3 or 4 Fehrenheit). I'll do it a this eve after I finish up my work day.

 

So it's being assumed that when we got dumped we were no longer confident, good, the best of ourselves!? How can that assumption be made?

 

The reason you might be down, negative, sad etc it's because you were dumped. It's an after effect!

[doicare]

So it's being assumed that when we got dumped we were no longer confident, good, the best of ourselves!? How can that assumption be made?

 

The reason you might be down, negative, sad etc it's because you were dumped. It's an after effect!

 

I would say I wasnt my best, and Im willing to bet many here would too. My insecurities seeped out as the relationship went on and I look back and definitely see areas where I could have reacted differently and been a little more nonchalant. And my ex could have improved too.

 

Are you saying that you were 100% confident as you always were right up until your ex dumped you and there is no area where you could have improved? If so, congrats, I'd say you're in the minority.

 

I'm guessing the majority of us dealt with a steady decline of attraction over time. The point is to be able to be happy with yourself and maintain your partner's attraction to you. Personally I take this as a learning experience and see this as an opportunity to keep on improving. If I can be a better boyfriend and achieve more of the goals I think I can achieve all while increasing my appeal to myself and others, I embrace this ideal with open arms!

 

Maybe Im misinterpreting your post, but seems you are bad buzzing about feeling good about yourself!?

[sharky988]

Those "how to get your ex back" scams they sell online make money by selling the concept that you can get your ex back through "confidence" and "self-improvement"

 

Every single person who posts here all pumped-up on these systems says the same things.

 

In reality, you're just experiencing the Bargaining Stage in the grieving process. It's totally normal. You're trying to bargain your way back into the relationship. In time, you'll reach the Acceptance Stage -- but it's going to take a while.