my bf doesn't want kids,why?

[cattie]

my bf told me that he never ever wanted kids,the reason is as following,"the number one reason is, I don't want a child ruining my wife,and ruining my marriage,you know how romantic and loving I am,I don't want to share my girl, haha,and I don't want less attention,and she might decide to leave me and take that child with her, so it's not even really mine,and the pregnancy will change her body (make it worse),and children cost a huge amount of time and money,and they take away your freedom,also the world has way too many people, it is irresponsible to have children because of overpopulation....................."

what do u think of it?do u think he's afraid of assuming responsibility or what??plz gimme some advice

[Mutley]

I'd get a new bf if you eventually want kids.

[Duckie198100]

It sounds like he gave you lots of reasons. There are a lot of people out there who don't want kids. I agree with Mutley though. It seems like this really bothers you which I take to mean that you want kids someday. You need to find someone who shares your views about your future.

[COtuner]

Sounds like me - I don't want kids and would not date a guy who does. It's a mismatch of goals and values in life.

[velvette]

I agree with him because I don't want kids ever. loss of freedom, too many kids already in the world, etc. have you suggested adoption?

 

but otherwise, if both of you have very strong, different stances on major things in life (such as kids! they are life-changing), then you guys aren't suitable. nobody is in the wrong, just different.

[_Asti_]

Well, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and everyone has different wants in life.

If that's how he feels, thats how he feels. He has MANY reasons for not wanting children, whether they are logical or whatever, is irrelevant. It's his stance on children.

 

If you want children, he's not the one for you.

[Seraphim]

Most likely you will not convince him otherwise. Children have to be something someone wants. There is nothing worse than a reluctant and bitter parent.

[agent1607307371]

He doesn't want kids because he doesn't want kids.

 

Some of us just don't.

 

If you want them though, you're probably best finding someone who shares your goals re: children.

[COtuner]

Most likely you will not convince him otherwise. Children have to be something someone wants. There is nothing worse than a reluctant and bitter parent.

 

=======> (points to my father)

[DN]

His reasons are valid to him - I doubt that he will change his mind. At least he is upfront about it and giving you the opportunity to decide what you want to do.

[Duckie198100]

=======> (points to my father)

 

Here, here....there's nothing worse as a child than feeling as if you're unwanted by one of your parents.

[DN]

Is this the guy you posted about here?

[cattie]

yes,i have a bf ,but my parents don't know,and probably they wouldn't hear of it if they learn that he's american, so many trivias happened at once..

[lady00]

Do you want kids?

[cattie]

if,i love kids..

[spinstermanquee]

if you do then don't press ahead with him, find someone else who agrees with you.

 

if you don't then you are just welcoming pain and misery into your life and you need to find someone else who agrees with you.

[angel54321]

my bf told me that he never ever wanted kids,

 

if he doesn't want kids. then thats his choice... if YOU want kids then he is not the right guy for you...

 

 

dont be miserable in the long run because its happy in the present....

 

everyone has different life goals... and for a relationship to last you need to be on the same page for the major ones!

[Unknown1607307972]

For me it's reversed. I don't want kids because I have struggled with depression problems all my life. I have seen how difficult kids are to raise. I have a short patience. Pregnancy scares me (seriously, not in other people but with me it actually scares me), I'm scared of feeling trapped, I'm scared I'd be bad mother because I freak out sometimes and have times where I *must* be given space.

 

My boyfriend says he wants kids in the future, not for another ten years though as we're both young. I just hope that one of us will change our minds along the line as 10 years is a long time. Who knows, maybe I'll have better control over my depression by then? Who knows, I am just hoping and I am scared that nobody will want me if I never change my mind because motherhood scares me.

[lady00]

my bf told me that he never ever wanted kids,the reason is as following,"the number one reason is, I don't want a child ruining my wife,and ruining my marriage,you know how romantic and loving I am,I don't want to share my girl, haha,and I don't want less attention,and she might decide to leave me and take that child with her, so it's not even really mine,and the pregnancy will change her body (make it worse),and children cost a huge amount of time and money,and they take away your freedom,also the world has way too many people, it is irresponsible to have children because of overpopulation....................."

what do u think of it?do u think he's afraid of assuming responsibility or what??plz gimme some advice

 

It sounds like he does not want to take on the responsibility and expense of having children and he's worried that they will get in the way of your relationship because it's something that takes a lot of time and energy.

 

If you want kids, it's unwise to remain in this relationship. He has many many reasons why he does not want children and even if you come to a point at which you fully understand those reasons, it won't change the fac that the doesn't want kids.

 

I can understand his reasons for not wanting children. To me, children are so worth all of that and then some. But for other people, they don't think they're worth it. Neither opinion is bad or wrong...just different.