cattie Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 what do u think of it when your hubby or bf tells that he doesn't want kids forever??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
d24 Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 i'd be disappointed because it's something i want from my life. it would be a deal breaker for me, sadly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yeawutever Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 That would be a good news to me, hell yeah. In my case I'm the one that doesn't want kids, not tomorrow, not in years later, I don't want them period but he does want them in the future. So that's your answer. If b/f were to magically changed his mind on it then that would be the happiest news ever. Kids, ugh that's way too much I don't think I can handle it. But him, I can't get him to changed his mind on this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
case Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 if it was a bf, deal breaker as it is something i want in the future. If i were to get married id make sure its something he wants. If he changed his mind, id be very disappointed and would really know what id do... cant say for certain on that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Asti_ Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 I'd be moving on to someone else. It's a deal breaker for me as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 what do u think of it when your hubby or bf tells that he doesn't want kids forever??? I would take him seriously and decide what was more important- being with him or being with someone who shared the mutual goal of having a family. I think it is something that should be discussed in detail long before you get to the point of getting married- which is what my husband and I did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 I'd be happy he didn't! I don't want kids at all, so it's important for me to find someone who doesn't want them either. It's a dealbreaker. I don't expect someone to change their mind if they want them and I don't, nor would I want someone to think they can change my mind. That isn't fair. These things need to be discussed early on so as not to waste each other's time. There should be no waiting for one to "change their mind". If you're in a relationship where one wants kids and the other doesn't, the relationship should end as soon as possible, period. Find someone with common goals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Up and Down Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 I'd be happy he didn't! I don't want kids at all, so it's important for me to find someone who doesn't want them either. You know it's funny, to me it seems like every girl I meet wants a family, some ASAP others later. It's rare that I meet women that don't want kids. Or in my case I met a woman who said she didn't want kids then later changed her mind. I am on the fence about kids but I think I am leaning towards not, I think they can be great but also realize they are a lot of work. I am not sure if this will change and I am just reflecting on my future life how I feel now but I am not sure if I am cut out to be a parent. I do throw that out up front when I meet someone because I can't deal with getting attached again and then having this thrown back in my face as the reason for the break-up I was honest from the begininng about how I felt. So with that said I guess this post makes me realize there are some women that don't want kids. They seem rare though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 It's certainly easier to find a man who doesn't want them, I think. Many women are raised thinking they need to have kids and do it b/c of the "should" of the matter. Many women, of course, want them b/c they want to be mothers. I think kids are great and I can't wait for my sister to hve her first baby in november. I'll love the hell out of that kid. But then I can give it back. I want the best of both worlds: a child to love and care for but not full time. I can get that being an auntie! If you don't want kids, don't settle. We're out there!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 I would have to think quite hard about how important the possibility of having kids was to me. It wouldnt immediately be a deal-breaker. I'd really need a fair bit of time to think about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yeawutever Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 If you don't want kids, don't settle. We're out there!! How about if you only want to settle to be with that person, it would be just the two of you. You get to be with the one you want to spend your life with. Yes I do wanna marry in the future but just me and him, not reproducing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 How about if you only want to settle to be with that person, it would be just the two of you. You get to be with the one you want to spend your life with. Yes I do wanna marry in the future but just me and him, not reproducing. I meant don't settle for something you don't want.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yeawutever Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 I meant don't settle for something you don't want.... True you're right about that. Then again there is some hope he might change his mind and finally agree with me since most men by nature either don't want kids or settle for it later in like pass their 30's. If not then there is two options. 1) Unfortunately break up or 2) End up only doing it for him but make him more responsible since he wanted in the first place while I go out and have fun, chill with friends if invited Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 True you're right about that. Then again there is some hope he might change his mind and finally agree with me since most men by nature either don't want kids or settle for it later in like pass their 30's. If not then there is two options. 1) Unfortunately break up or 2) End up only doing it for him but make him more responsible since he wanted in the first place while I go out and have fun, chill with friends if invited But he could say the same about you. There's a chance you may change your mind. That's why I don't get involved with anyone who wants kids. They think I'll change my mind, and I'll think they'll change theirs. It's not fair to anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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