does the rship status change how a man is in bed with you or is it emotion?

[seren]

I am in a relationship that is more based on convenience....my partner and I are both aware of this and he is in the same position. Although we do have love and respect for one another we are not crazy IN love with one another (long story).

 

anyways my question is this: we used to have hot pervy sex before we agreed to be exclusive and now that we are settling down and in serious proper rship he says he feels like he cant have the 'pervy' sex anymore. I think this is because a lot of what he is into is degrading to women and now that we are more exclusive then before he is in a different mindset.

 

do you think just the relationship status can change how a man is in bed???

[jettison]

Yes, I think it can. I've never appreciated this dynamic much. Especially when you get really, really close with someone, you're living with them, you're holding their hand through tears, you're there with soup and saltines when they're sick, hugs when they're sick. You've met their parents, and their parents adore and trust you.

 

How do you go from that to "I'm putting it in your can, and call me Daddy." ? It can feel like kind of a leap. How many people do you hear say, "our relationship drives me crazy, and he/she is such an ass, but the sex is so great, and I guess that's why I stay" vs. "I love everything about him/her, and we get along soooo well, and I swear we're best friends, and it's like we were meant for each other, but our sex life... For some reason I just don't want to have sex with him/her. I mean, I think he/she is attractive, but I don't know why I'm not in the mood."

 

This happens because our base sexuality can be so tied to being ill at ease, slightly uncomfortable, on edge, etc. Yes, you have to have a level of being relaxed, and especially if you're a woman, you require trust to open yourself up, but you also require someone who's going to surprise you on occasion, who is willing to grab/take what he wants without being too polite about it.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Are you sure his feelings for you aren't deeper than you think? If this is a relationship of convenience where there is no sense of being in love then what has really changed other than relationship status.

[seren]

Thats what im wondering. Does this mean he is in love with me?

 

or can a rship status be enough to change how u r in bed?

 

he says its just that now we are committed and proper not that he is in love.

 

I mean i get what the first poster said...i can see how now that we live together, visit each others parents, look after one another it is a bit weird to then go home and say 'cmon give it to daddy' haha. can understand that. Do you think though, that this is all it is, i mean now that we are doing all the normal rship stuff that it is weird or is it that he has fallen in love.

 

in other words is it ONLY emotion that changes how u r in bed or can it just be that now we hold hands, support one another, have mutual friends and visit friends for dinner and go to outings and look after each other when sick etc.

 

This is what has changed by our rship status changing. we now do all these kinds of lovey things like looking after one another when sick etc n vsitin our olds.

 

ive been married, ive done all that stuff n so has he, neither os us want that again, were just happy as we are, its comfortble.

 

is this poss?

[Lecturer]

I'm more apt to have "pervy" sex only when I achieve an immense level of intimacy, trust, and love with a person. Without that trust and love, I would not be comfortable sharing.. erm... lets say the darker sides... of myself.

[Unknown1607307972]

My relationship is certainly serious and we have very hot and pervy sex I love how we can be loving and sweet but so wild and crazy in the bedroom. I really don't know why it could be seen as degrading.