paintedfish Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Please rake your nails Along the fine hairs of my Glazed-over, worn out, Freehand symphony. Please shine your light On the majesty Of my egg dropped Into the tangled webs Of borderlines and Freeway nerve fights. Come back, there's hollow space Yet to be carved away. Come back, your hollowed-out space Isn't yet carved away. Please let your words Split the muscles and Take the space of things That are much bigger in my head. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LemonCheesecak Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Another fantastic piece of work. I love the fragmented style of the piece with the use of enjambment. I'm becoming a fan! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paintedfish Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 Thank you for validating my drivel! Haha, but seriously, it does mean a lot. I also think it's cool that you use words like "enjambment." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LemonCheesecak Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Hey, I didn't forget everything from high school (ok, that's a lie, I sat for 5 mins trying to remember the word for it haha) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
girl friend Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 nothing wrong with borderlines! where did that come from? nice writing hun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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