akazie Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Had a bit of a breakdown over the weirdest thing,I started to feel pity and sorrow for my ex thinking that nobody will ever love her like me and be able to deal with all her problems.I started to worry maybe another man if he had to deal with this would harm her physically or that she might die alone due to her issues.This woman ripped the heart and soul out of my body and I'm worrying about her.I found myself praying for her instead of myself.Is this normal? I started to hope that maybe later in the future as a friend I could get her to get counselling or therapy to deal with her issues as I know that if she doesn't she will never be happy with anybody. Codependent. A good book for you would be link removed by Melody Beattie. I have a copy, if you PM me your address I will send it to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forlorn23 Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 This case sounds VERY similar to mine, although mine was only a 3 month stint as I felt I had to get out as soon as possible. It was overwhelming. The girl I was seeing took my confidence, tore away at it and left me with nothing (literally). Even worse than that is, about 2 months into the relationship she decided to tell me that she had started talking to her abusive ex, even though I was treating her so well. Since then I've been having body-image issues, trust issues and a host of other issues that have left me feeling depressed to the extent that I have been seeing a psychologist for the first time in my life. (Before then I had these issues, but they were very mild and did not affect my day-to-day functioning). Its been 5 months since we more or less mutually decided to end the relationship (very bitter ending), good news is I'm starting a new job soon which should help keep my mind off things. God knows I need to become more active again! Anyway, I'm off the gym to try and keep myself focused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forlorn23 Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 But yer, to follow-up on my previous message. I had initially broke up with her. But she called me many, many, many times (I purposely ignored it in the beginning). She finally managed to catch me off-guard and somehow wooed me into trusting her again. I cannot believe I did. In any case, she took my trust once again and shoved it back in my face. The worst part is I thought I had handled it maturely the first break-up. The second time I felt she wanted to end it on her terms, so her ego would be even. In any case, I did the stupidest and most regretful thing in my entire life by verbally abusing her in a text message before breaking things off entirely. To this day I hate myself for it and regret it, I never knew I could say things so mean. It hurts my heart everyday and that undeniable monstrous regret is something I DO NOT know how to reconcile. I have no idea how to take it back or forgive myself for what I said to her. I know I can't ever speak to her again as it'd just be wrong after what I said to her. Does this type of pain/heartache/regret last forever? And does it heal with time? What can I do, knowing that I said such horrible things to a girl I honestly had strong feelings for? Any help would be great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forlorn23 Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 I feel bad for ending the relationship maturely the first time, then being dragged into a bitter ego match with her after she maniacally called/texted me and convinced me things were going to be ok.... then stabbing me in the back. If it had ended on my terms the first time around I would probably be ok? I don't know!! Argh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickenjuice Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Go ahead and think of her as certifiably insane, if it makes you feel better. But obviously nobody here can diagnose her. Most of us aren't psychologists or psychiatrists, and even if we were, we wouldn't be able to give a diagnosis from third-hand gossip on a message board. She isn't worth all the thought you are giving her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueRizla Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 I think you probably wouldnt be ok no matter how it ended as you clearly feel for her...and your last post tells me that you are beating yourself up about something that You really shouldnt be. (i'm a dan hand at that) But only you can let go of that one and its very hard. Do you try and rescue your partners? I know i do and i feel worse off than in seemingly normal relationship, as nothing I could do seemed to help when i invested so much. i felt like a failure on top of feeling like a failure. Try and soothe yourself over not leaving her first time round. Thats where your healing will start. My ex ex of 5 yrs was bipolar and some traits are similar but you cant say really from anything written here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mandellin Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 There are also health disorders that can affect a persons mood/mood swings/irrational behaviors.... had she been seeing any medical doctors,therapist,or psychologist? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jagdpanther Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 all I can say is that your description of the way she treated you fits my ex exactly, and she was definitely bipolar. She even admitted it herself, she would say to me, 'I am all or nothing' character. Sure, she did have huge emotional baggage, and drinking issues, but she was definitely bipolar. Like others have said, be glad you are out of it. I was so depressed by her, and I am still putting myself back together Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bella20 Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 Uh, who cares? What's the point? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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