Jabbe Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Hi, I haven't spoken with my wife in 7 days as part of NC. My problem now is that she tried to log into my bank account and got blocked out. My account has been locked and I'm leaving it like that until I get answers. I KNOW it was her because she is the only person on the face of the planet that knows my user ID and the state where my account was started. She did this the last time we "broke up." She even tried to log into my cell phone account! Unless E.T. wanted to borrow some cash, I highly doubt that he would pick me to steal from out of a billion people. Would you confront your spouse if this happened to you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Binoo Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I probably wouldn't say anything. I would just request that the bank let me change some of my user information. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anggrace Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Sounds like she just wants to check up on you, see what you're spending and on what and who you are calling. Well, you know she will just deny it if you were to ask her, so I don't see the point. I agree that you should change information such as your user ID. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makeupgrl99 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I'm a little perplexed here....she is your WIFE, why can't she have access to your information? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissancewoman101 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Is this a joint account, or just your personal account? Also, as your wife (since you are NOT divorced), she does have some priviledges accorded to her, where she probably can legally get into the acct. I dunno. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nutbrownhare Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I can see some very good reasons why a spouse shouldn't be able to access his/her partner's private accounts! Such as wanting an estranged partner to fund drug/drink/gambling habits for a start! Joint accounts are different, of course. I wouldn't bother confronting her about it or you risk getting into a game which won't get anyone anywhere. Just change your details to ensure it can't happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TENNFOLD1974 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I'm a little perplexed here....she is your WIFE, why can't she have access to your information?I have to agree with this...when your married I believe nothing should be separate but bathrooms and personal hygiene products. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beautiful Nightmare Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Seeing as how you're getting a divorce, you should talk to your attorney about this. You need to protect your assets and he can advise you on that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabbe Posted April 5, 2009 Author Share Posted April 5, 2009 I'm a little perplexed here....she is your WIFE, why can't she have access to your information? We are separated and on bad terms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabbe Posted April 5, 2009 Author Share Posted April 5, 2009 Is this a joint account, or just your personal account? Also, as your wife (since you are NOT divorced), she does have some priviledges accorded to her, where she probably can legally get into the acct. I dunno. It's a personal account. I closed our joint the day after we parted and took my name off all the utilities. Living with my parents now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabbe Posted April 5, 2009 Author Share Posted April 5, 2009 I can see some very good reasons why a spouse shouldn't be able to access his/her partner's private accounts! Such as wanting an estranged partner to fund drug/drink/gambling habits for a start! Joint accounts are different, of course. I wouldn't bother confronting her about it or you risk getting into a game which won't get anyone anywhere. Just change your details to ensure it can't happen. You're right. I'll keep up the NC. Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabbe Posted April 5, 2009 Author Share Posted April 5, 2009 I have to agree with this...when your married I believe nothing should be separate but bathrooms and personal hygiene products. She had access to my account before, but after she physically abused me and flipped out, I changed everything. This is the 2nd time my account was locked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabbe Posted April 5, 2009 Author Share Posted April 5, 2009 Seeing as how you're getting a divorce, you should talk to your attorney about this. You need to protect your assets and he can advise you on that. Thank you! I'm really offended that she did that more than anything. She was acting all ok about the whole thing by faking that she doesn't care. The fact that she turns around and tries to log into my bank account AFTER we're "done with each other" confuses me. If you're done with someone, you're done. You don't go snooping! Thanks for the advice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TENNFOLD1974 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 We are separated and on bad terms.I'm sorry then, forgive my earlier post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TENNFOLD1974 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 She had access to my account before, but after she physically abused me and flipped out, I changed everything. This is the 2nd time my account was locked.Sorry that happen to you...sounds to me she needs therapy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabbe Posted April 5, 2009 Author Share Posted April 5, 2009 Sorry that happen to you...sounds to me she needs therapy. No problem. I'm not offended in any way. Yea, she was supposed to go to therapy at a Mental Health Care Center but turned it down. She has way too much pride, and an ego the size of a hot air balloon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TENNFOLD1974 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 No problem. I'm not offended in any way. Yea, she was supposed to go to therapy at a Mental Health Care Center but turned it down. She has way too much pride, and an ego the size of a hot air balloon!She can't go through life physically and emotionally abusing people,she needs to get over herself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I'd file papers with a lawyer to document this as a legal separation in order to protect against any debts she incurs while you're just physically separated. I'd quit all communication and get good legal advice before doing or saying ANYthing. In your corner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandhurt Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 If there are no court orders stopping you then you can lock the account. You can also use the money for everyday living expenses without a judge getting ticked off later as well. Just don't go buy a boat with the money of give it all away to your brother to hide it. Judges don't like that stuff and will punish you for it in court. Take the high road and let it go. As long as it is safe I wouldn't do anything at all. You do need to proceed with a legal seperation though to make sure she doesn't incur any costs that might fall back on you later. best wishes Lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabbe Posted April 6, 2009 Author Share Posted April 6, 2009 I'd file papers with a lawyer to document this as a legal separation in order to protect against any debts she incurs while you're just physically separated. I'd quit all communication and get good legal advice before doing or saying ANYthing. In your corner. Thanks! I'm gonna have to file for "Separate Support and Maintenance" or whatever it's called. My state doesn't have legal separations, however the fact that we are not living together counts for something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabbe Posted April 6, 2009 Author Share Posted April 6, 2009 If there are no court orders stopping you then you can lock the account. You can also use the money for everyday living expenses without a judge getting ticked off later as well. Just don't go buy a boat with the money of give it all away to your brother to hide it. Judges don't like that stuff and will punish you for it in court. Take the high road and let it go. As long as it is safe I wouldn't do anything at all. You do need to proceed with a legal seperation though to make sure she doesn't incur any costs that might fall back on you later. best wishes Lost Thank you! I don't really have much at all. In fact, I would be considered "poor" by any standard, but I'm trying to get back on my feet. She's knows I don't have much, so it adds to the mystery I guess/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabbe Posted April 6, 2009 Author Share Posted April 6, 2009 I changed my user ID today, so there will be no way that will be happening again. Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 If she is your wife, you will end up supporting her for a time anyway. She should not get into your personal accounts on her own, but the courts will make sure she gets part of it every month. Press mental health issue and you will pay for her psych. My bf is a Family Law Attorney and that is what he always gets his female clients. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabbe Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 If she is your wife, you will end up supporting her for a time anyway. She should not get into your personal accounts on her own, but the courts will make sure she gets part of it every month. Press mental health issue and you will pay for her psych. My bf is a Family Law Attorney and that is what he always gets his female clients. I never planned to press that issue. That's pretty sad that I could go through so much on her behalf and still be shafted in the end. She has the car, the apartment, furniture, pretty much everything. She makes more than 8x what I do at the moment. For a court saying that I would have to support her in this condition is insane when I can barely support myself. I guess that's why these things always go ugly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandhurt Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 It sounds like she may be supporting you if she has such a higher income than you do. Just because you are a male and she a female doesn't mean you will automatically have to pay her for any length of time or at all. Secure what money you do have and start collecting all the information you will need for the divorce. If she isn't to far gone perhaps you could use a mediator to keep from paying a lawyer until the very end. Stay on the high road lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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