THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Loxxt]

says it all dunnit

 

i reckon its hitting the skidders and so hes putting in the back up talk with you 'just incase'

 

glad to see you seeing through this. he thinks he can jus walk back into your life..???....pfffttt

 

anyway day uhmmmm 28

 

4 weeks of this...had dream bout him last night, we were having a convo with someone and when i tried to join in he ignored me...which basically happened the weekend jus before we split. nice reminder for me there

 

I really hate dreams. But I'm starting to act in my dreams how I feel. So whenever he acts cocky like he can come back I say "whatever" and walk away, then he makes that sad/pouty face. I giggle and walk away not looking back.

 

Honestly, girl I dunno what to think but like you said he still seems to think he can walk back in. This is the second contact in a week I've ignored. First one was a txt asking if he could talk, this was the second.

 

I was SO close to answering him telling him off. You have no idea how close. Here, read this and you'll probably just *sigh* like I did...](*,)

 

Hey ,

 

here. Wanted to say hello. hope things are going well for you.

Got word back that my application for the forces are well underway. Basically pending my medical review. (damn flat feet), Otherwise, scored very well on my aptitude test, and did exceedingly well in my interviews.

In case i hadn't explained it prior, Im applying to LCIS, which is Land Communication and Information Systems. Basically long for radio and telecommunications repair and computer software/fibreoptics installations and maintenance. If all goes as planned Ill be shipped out at the end of April. then it's 6 months of basics followed by 1 year and a bit of university training regarding my occupation.

 

Don't know if you still manage to game it up these days. I recently picked up Crysis, pretty amazing game. I kinda miss wow, but damn, new expansion won't be out for some time

Typical blizzard.

On other news, I got word and pics, that my dad's racing tractor is almost done, painted, finished and almost track worthy.

 

I know you may not want to hear this, but I felt like talking to you about it anyways.

I'm putting to action (finally)the words I told you. If my application fails within the military, I'll be picking up my own place (cheaper rent) and applying in city for police forces.

I hope to get myself settled in as fast as possible. I know I mentioned that our relationship wasn't initially based on friendship, however I know my love for you and what we had was true testament to what life is about.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that hopefully you find it in yourself to work on our friendship. I know my mistakes and I am keen on fixing them.

 

I've been really busy practicing guitar, writing songs and learning others bands songs. Learnt a few iron maiden and alkaline trio songs. Maybe one day I can meet up with you and play a few for you.

 

So apart from my going-on's, how's doing? still at the old place? any new prospects job wise?

Well, that's about it for now. Again, hope all is well, and look forward to hearing from you.

 

->found that a little weird!

[1guygirl]

hmmmm sigh indeed

 

sounds like hes tryin to friendzone you whilst giving a lil more ie plan B kinda thing ???

 

id hate an email like that where my ex is going on about how well its al going for him (not that i wish him bad jus rather not hear how its all fell into place whilst im stuck in mode 1) aswell as the "hey look at me and what im doing to work on myself, pleeease validate me"

 

hes trying to bait you into sharing convo with him, with the added bonus of seeing how youre faring in the break up stakes

 

do they even have a clue pls??? its like the breakup was jus so so and now you can go tidily into cosy chats - arrgh

[Loxxt]

hmmmm sigh indeed

 

sounds like hes tryin to friendzone you whilst giving a lil more ie plan B kinda thing ???

 

id hate an email like that where my ex is going on about how well its al going for him (not that i wish him bad jus rather not hear how its all fell into place whilst im stuck in mode 1) aswell as the "hey look at me and what im doing to work on myself, pleeease validate me"

 

hes trying to bait you into sharing convo with him, with the added bonus of seeing how youre faring in the break up stakes

 

do they even have a clue pls??? its like the breakup was jus so so and now you can go tidily into cosy chats - arrgh

 

Yeah I get that vibe too about him trying to friendzone me. If it weren't for him calling a friend 3 days before this email and saying he isn't happy with his life and gf and REALLY wants to come back, I would be even more offended and probably less confused. lol

 

To me he still hasn't decided. He's trying to keep me on the side as a backup gf, not wanting to risk rejection so he's trying to also keep me as a friend in the meantime. Ugh.

 

I know it seems like he's going on about how great his life is but I think he's just trying to say how he's finally getting his head screwed on, or trying to. Not so much like "hey look I'm great" for his benefit but to show me he's becoming responsible. The friend he called, told him flat out that he's got zero chance with me right now. He's gotta lose the girl, get a job, become responsible, grow up basically and be a man if he wants to have a shot... Oh and leave me alone for a few months while he does all this. Ex asked the friend how will I know he's changed and he said not to worry about that and to focus on himself and to NOT contact me. I think that's why this email has a mix of him trying to just keep me as a friend but also trying to show me how he's working on himself. I think it's too much of a coincidence that 3 days after he says he wants to come back, change, show me he's changed, that I get an email all about what he's doing and mostly around how he's getting it together.

 

When I see it that way I'm a little less mad at him. But still I need to look at the facts. He's still with her, still has no job, and nothing between us has changed. I have heavy doubts as to whether I could fathom a relationship with him again because he needs to change too much for me to hope for and plus he left me for someone else in a heartbeat.

 

So much headache-inducing drama. Oy!

[NsKrewtable]

"hey look at me and what im doing to work on myself, pleeease validate me"

 

Haha, That's what it sounds like to me.

[TryingVeryHard]

So I'm on day 38... And I can't get the text message that she sent me a week ago out of my head...

 

Before, she had told me that she was still "thinking about it"... But that text message said "I know you probably don't want to hear from me but I wanted to say hi and I'm hope you're doing ok. And I hope we can be friends one day soon."

 

I can't stop wondering if this means she's no longer "thinking about it" now, since she's talking about being "friends one day soon"...

 

Another thing about it was that it was sent at 1 AM on a saturday night.. She never lets a weekend pass without going out and drinking and partying... So was it a drunk "I'm missing you" type text?

 

A month and a half ago she was telling me we needed time apart and that she needed space, but that she still felt the same way about me that she always had.. And now she hopes we can be friends one day soon.. I don't understand this stuff...

 

I can't stop wondering about all these things all day long... But btw I never responded..

[TSandullo]

Day 17 - Meeting up my 'bro'...

 

Woke early and got an early train to meet my old friend, a real brother to me.

Was great catching up.

 

Spent the day chatting to him and his gf, playing VGs, watching movies, and having my balls trod on by his affectionate little dog.

 

my ex came to my mind infrequently.

I am doing the very thing I was afraid of doing months back: moving on.

 

Just got back to my home town. I have become somewhat emotionally stable so I am glad.

 

Back to uni tomorrow.

 

Have a great week everyone.

 

TS

[Loxxt]

I am doing the very thing I was afraid of doing months back: moving on.

 

It's funny how that realization just creeps up on you. Just pray your ex doesn't start to mess with your head like mine is. Just as you begin to accept the way things are, they reach out. Total cliche. Glad to hear things are going well for you!

[WhatSetsUs]

So I survived spring break lol. I actually did a lot during break and had a great time. I'm definitely stronger than I think I am. But I am back at school now and again these emotions and memories have rushed back to me. I'm missing her like crazy, I'm feeling depressed, and I'm embarrassed for myself that after almost two months of being broken up, I'm still suffering. When is something gonna give...

[LLammas]

Days 2 and 3

 

I've been feeling really down in the dumps. Went to the parents house to hide from the world for a while.

 

I tried going to the gym, tanning, and shopping. It was a distraction, but now, at the end of day 3, I'm still feeling empty. I talked to my folks a little bit about how I am, and how I've been feeling depressed. I brought up all the things I'm unhappy about except the ex. I didn't want to get into a big conversation over him. They tried cheering me up and suggesting ways to improve, but it feels pointless.

 

I'm dreading tomorrow, but I know I have to go through the motions.

[EQIQ]

3 weeks - a month?

 

I dunno lol... good thing I don't keep count...

[inactivecash]

Day 7

 

I no longer want to be with her anymore, I'm starting to think she was right about the things she said about why we shouldnt be together.

 

I met someone else the other night. I like her, she's very sweet but shy! I'm going to start dating this girl hopefully if she want too.. I think she's keen.

 

Since the Ex is now seeing someone else it has helped me to forget her more each day.

[TSandullo]

It's funny how that realization just creeps up on you. Just pray your ex doesn't start to mess with your head like mine is. Just as you begin to accept the way things are, they reach out. Total cliche. Glad to hear things are going well for you!

 

Yeah.

Months back I was afraid that I would forget her, not love her anymore.

But I guess those things aren't so bad after all.

Yeah, I still have feelings for her, but a bird can't fly without one wing.

So I'll just have to put my energy into myself and any other relationship in future.

 

Hope you are well too Loxxt. I have been reading all yer posts

 

Tc

 

TS

[1guygirl]

Day 7

 

I no longer want to be with her anymore, I'm starting to think she was right about the things she said about why we shouldnt be together.

 

I met someone else the other night. I like her, she's very sweet but shy! I'm going to start dating this girl hopefully if she want too.. I think she's keen.

 

Since the Ex is now seeing someone else it has helped me to forget her more each day.

 

so after only 7 days youre gunna try date a shy girl...i got a bad feeling bout this...ask yourself are you only using her as a * * * for tat with your ex?? be honest... if so i think you could really hurt this girl.

 

why not be the bigger man, get your feelings in check first with some serious NC and time and then think about dating this girl ?

 

before you found out bout ex seeing someone, and it was still a case of jus giving it a month space, you were throwing in the towel at the very beginning, being defeatist and negative. thats not healthy. and now you wanna drag another girl into this...woah

 

sorry if i sound harsh but i think you need to step back and work on you and your healing before rebounding and causing more hurt all round

[1guygirl]

day 29...

 

note to self:

 

stay away from the sex & romance forum it will only lead you into remembering the good ole hot days and longer nights with ex ](*,)

 

bugger

 

i want sex with him now...simples...

 

but wont dont worry...my self comes first - some things never change

[TSandullo]

day 29...

 

note to self:

 

stay away from the sex & romance forum it will only lead you into remembering the good ole hot days and longer nights with ex ](*,)

 

bugger

 

i want sex with him now...simples...

 

but wont dont worry...my self comes first - some things never change

 

 

Oh yeah! Those mighty fiiiiine memories....those mammaries.....hmmmm *drools*....

 

ahem. excuse me there. I too was reminscing.

 

Today, my ex sat besides me in uni and I held back the urge of ripping off her clothes and penetrating every orifice there and then.

 

But I hold back...

 

...until later one....

 

TS

[Loxxt]

Yeah.

Months back I was afraid that I would forget her, not love her anymore.

But I guess those things aren't so bad after all.

Yeah, I still have feelings for her, but a bird can't fly without one wing.

So I'll just have to put my energy into myself and any other relationship in future.

 

Hope you are well too Loxxt. I have been reading all yer posts

 

Tc

 

TS

 

Yeah same. I didn't want to let go, I didn't want to move on but I am.

 

Feels kinda good though, doesn't it?

 

As you know it's all to cliche but no my ex is seeing the grass isn't greener. Now I'm at a crossroads. I'm dealing with it okay, I suppose. I've kept NC and this time it's hard but I know he's not 100% sure and hasn't changed - not to mention I don't much like the guy for what he did. I know I wanted him to come to his senses and come back but now that it seems that things are headed in that direction I'm having my doubts.

 

Makes me miss the days when my biggest dillema was what game to play at recess.

[Loxxt]

Don't get me started on the sex. Going on 4 months of nothin, about the only thing i want back without a doubt.

[TSandullo]

Day 18 - Dusting the breadcrumbs

 

A few weeks ago when I first came by ENA, I discovered the term 'breadcrumbs' in the context of the ex (dumper) tossing bits that delights the dumpee with either the false hope (or perhaps even real hope) of reconciliation or simply to string them along.

 

Today I went back to uni.

Had lectures at the beginning of the afternoon. I went to the lecture hall and as I power walked (as I always do ) I see her and our friends coming to the lecture hall too.

 

I walk on ahead casually waving and entering the hall, I sit near the front middle and casually start some witty banter with the lecturer as we do every week.

 

She comes in, with our mutual friend (female) besides her and she asks if she can sit next to me (HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF - YEAH BITEBENOT, I KNOW WHAT YOU GONNA SAY ) , but before I can reply, she is already sandwiched between me, her friend and the rest of the folk who come in.

 

I don't respond to her and continue chatting with the lecturer.

As I sit, I exchange a few casual words with her about the event we have organised for our club and I gave her some money for a reservation.

 

As the lecture went on I was relaxed in pose and mind and got on with stuff.

However, I did have the urge to violate her body at times and run my tongue all over her, kiss her and run my fingers through that silken dark hair. But my eyes remained on the powerpoint presentation in front. I just hope she didn't see my boner.

 

After the lecture finished, I mentioned some work related stuff to her and left abruptly yet politely.

 

Really busy day, so many reports to write up. So much to get through. My eyes were dropping at times.

 

Later on, I am sat in a computer lab, getting on with work sitting near other folk in my course.

 

She comes into the room with friends of ours to get work done. I recognized her with that flash of red from her coat. The very same coat I wrote her my first poem about over 2 years ago...

 

I concentrate on my work. I get a text from someone. I recognise the number...though I deleted the name months back...it was her.

 

"Hi, Hows it goin?

 

Breadcrumbs? Hmm....

 

I stand up and go to the bog. I need to do a sh

I sit down on the toilet seat and as I settle myself, I look at my phone and as the first dollop of sh pops out, I hit the delete button not responding to her.

 

A while later I return to the lab. She is gone. Off to pick up her kid I guess.

 

I get on with work now. My eyes are heavy. Lots of work to do.

 

How do I feel today? Sleepy.

 

TS

[TSandullo]

Don't get me started on the sex. Going on 4 months of nothin, about the only thing i want back without a doubt.

 

You can buy cucumbers and carrots in Canada right?

 

 

 

 

 

Man, this is so bad!!!

[WhatSetsUs]

too much information? lol jk.

 

Just wondering (and if you dont mind me asking) but how old are you?

[TSandullo]

I'll give you 3 guesses...?

 

Post em all at once

[WhatSetsUs]

hmm.... 19, 20, 23?

[TSandullo]

lol! Nailed it on the last one!

23 I am. 24 soon.

Come to think of it, I better add my age and location here....so if any of you horny ladies wanna link for NSA fun, pm me....!

 

 

 

HA!!! Man! This sex talk has gotten me in a right old roll! Please excuse the humour folks.

I understand some fresh dumpees or prudes might take offence to all this.

[Loxxt]

Lol very descriptive, TS. It helps to read ur posts, knowing you're pretty much where I am. I dunno if I could handle seeing my ex as much as you though. Good job on handling it so classy; I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to be so cordial. Hehe.

 

And yes we have penis shaped objects in Canada lol. I have a few guys I could hook up with if I really wanted to but I don't want to use them that way. Oh, and risk having bad sex with a friend = A month after my ex left I met up with a friend and we were just getting it on but I stopped it. Felt like I was using him, told him that. So I fell asleep in his arms but an hour later we started going at it again but then HE stopped it saying he didn't wanna take advantage of me. Uggghh. Now I wanna go see him. Thanks TS, now I'm all hot and bothered, stuck at work for another 6 hours!!

[TSandullo]

Aye! What I study at uni is very objective...but my passion is subjective: Writing, so descriptive is my game. I should flaunt my poetry to you guys some time soon....but then, my identity will come out! oooooh!

 

Thanks Loxxt, you are a lady of Steel as bite describes, and I am sure you could handle it. I have grown accustomed to seeing her daily and experiencing the pain over the past few years and am kind of glad of it all. I got the full dose of it within the past two years:

1)Her falling out of love with me but wanting to make it work

2)Her developing feelings for a mutual friend of ours

3)Getting back together with her until she broke up with me this January.

 

Kudos to her too for having to face me daily as well. It must be tenfold harder for her being a woman I guess. Her eyes adopt a shade of red whenever we talk.

 

Glad to know you are all stocked and well equipped in good ol Canada.

You did the right thing not using your friends. Man, the breakup and the urge going hand in hand...sucks I know. I hope you get the release you ladies desire.

 

And I hope you ladies find a fine man (or men) with well formed abdominals, a lavender scent, who runs his fingers slowly on your smooth bare backs as you croon with pleasure...his nose and lips caresses the back of your neck and lightly...ever so lightly...a slight flicker of his tongue strokes you, and a thunderbolt has passed through you....

 

TS