discombobulate Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 i am just wondering if anyone has had an obsession? i am currently going through this huge issue in my life. its is a long story so here is the basic.... about 7 years ago before my husband and i got married he had a baby with some one else. so obviously i was not happy but knew that i loved him and wanted to be with him, i did not/ have not delt with my anger about this. so around the same time he did that i met a friend who happens to be male nothing ever happened. husband and i went back to normal (he doesnt see that baby) and for 7 years now i have been dreaming, fantasing, obsessing over the guy friend i had. well i thought that if him and started talking it would make the dreams (same reccuring dream, not sexual, 2 plus times a month) go away. wrong made things worse. started seein a counselor who said the obsession came from the feelings about that baby i couldnt/ wont deal with ?!?! so now i have these feeling for him, atleast i think they are feelings or is just my obsession? has any one ever had this happen or knows how to get rid of a real OBSESSION? its driving me nuts there is alot more to story, just wondering if anyone has gone through something like this??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odile Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Are you still seeing the counselor? My advice would be to do so. Sounds really complex, and ongoing outside help sounds like the only way to deal with these issues that have been haunting you starting 7 years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discombobulate Posted March 24, 2009 Author Share Posted March 24, 2009 yes i see her once a week but, ugh it so frustrating!!! and all consuming. i just wish i had a whole day and night that i didnt agonize over wanting to talk to my friend so bad (addiction) and knowing that i cant cuz either it is not healthy, i will ruin my marriage, or thes feelings are REAL?!?!? insert scream....................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Do you mean he had a baby with someone else while he was with you or before he met you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discombobulate Posted March 24, 2009 Author Share Posted March 24, 2009 we have been together since we were 17, at the time he got her pg were together but not living together. no definate, still seeing each other undefined, its hard to explain still telling each other we loved one another though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odile Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 yes i see her once a week but, ugh it so frustrating!!! and all consuming. i just wish i had a whole day and night that i didnt agonize over wanting to talk to my friend so bad (addiction) and knowing that i cant cuz either it is not healthy, i will ruin my marriage, or thes feelings are REAL?!?!? insert scream....................... If it's frustrating and all-consuming, then there's a good chance that you're doing some good work. The thing is that processing old issues can take a lot of time. Be patient with yourself. Try to liken therapy to.... trying to organise the basement or garage of a hoarder. There's dirt and grime, and god knows what piled in boxes and boxes, and piles of stuff everywhere. But imagine that you know there are some valuable items in there, too, and that you get to keep them if only you can find them. It's going to take ages, and you're going to have to get sweaty and grimy, and look at stuff you'd really wanted to ignore was in there (like a wasp's nest, or a bunch of mice)... You may have to do (or not do) things that are a bit difficult, but it's the only way that you can get the job done. Well, you could give up, and let it all rot, but if you keep at it, eventually, Eventually you'll find some of those treasures. You'll have a breakthrough. You'll look around, and instead of a fire-trap of cluttered mess inside of your head, you'll be able to access the doors and the windows, and in addition, you'll have a great new space to use in whichever way you see fit. Stick with the counselor, you owe it to yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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