CaptainPlanet Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Essentially she is a selfish woman. I have always know that and I have never liked her. We don't see eye to eye on education or on advancement in life. Basically she is ignorant stupid and lazy. She makes me angry. She depends on my father and has never worked to support her herself Dad has always carried her weight. My dream in life has been to study engineering or some sort of quantitative study or science. I have never had a home environment in which to live and study. I've basically been on my own. I've moved interstate and started a job. It is going alright, but not as well as I would have hoped. I have told my Mum I am going to give it a year then see what happens. I said that I might want to study some more and my mum told me I would not be allowed to live at home. She said that I am too old to be studying and that I will have to work fulltime and study part time. Which is not even possible with most courses. Yet my brother who never works gets to live at home free of charge. My mother doesn't love me. She only cares about herself nothing she does in concerned with my best interests. She does not like me and is happy that I am gone. I never want to see her again now that I see so clearly how selfish she is and how much she does not like me. I do love my Dad and I am sure that he would have a better understanding of what I ma going through, but I think mum would have the final word. Essentially I am interstate. I am away from home and I want to hurt my mother. I want to get married and not tell her about it - or never speak to her again. Or do something horrible to make her feel as sad as I do now. I feel like everything in my life has been for my parents convenience and not because they care for me but for their own benefit. I cannot express the disgust when I talk of bettering myself and improving my position in her life that her fast bloated simple minded face belittles it like I am asking to go on a holiday. I'm usually left wing but when she talks like that I think she deserves to live in poverty. I understand the right wing stance when someone like her is so dependent on others and so unwilling to improve her own life - yet expects that other people should pay for her life style. It makes me sick. I'll bet when she retires she will expect the government to pay her a nice pernsion too. I am speaking through anger and I probably don't mean half of what I say but I'll say one more thing. Why does my mother and to a lesser extent my father have to do everthing they can to make my life harder than it needs to be ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 This could be the reason, but at the same time very well might be completally wrong. Your mum might know the mistakes she made, but is now comfortable where she is now. But does not want you to make the same mistakes. Or, she wants other people to think she did a great job on bringing you up. And she thinks that you going back to school will put her in a bad light. Ignore her, save up as much money as you can, get some flat/house mates, and then a part time job to go with college/uni. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainPlanet Posted March 23, 2009 Author Share Posted March 23, 2009 I dunno I think I am in a state of denial... kidding myself into thinking I had a normal adolescence and that my adult life has been smooth sailing normality. I really don't think it has... I think I've been through rather a lot of emotional strain and I need to accept that it just hasn't been normal and move on from there. If I can accept my family as just being bad then I think I can move on. But at the moment the expectation of normality and the actions taken to the contrary are causing me to become angry and upset. I feel as though in some twisted way I am trying to blame my self thinking I have control and that I can change all of these things when I really cannot. What has happened has happened and we're supposed to overcome adversity and not dwell on the fact over and over again lamenting past misfortunes and mistakes. However it all seems so much easier to do when I can bring myself to accept that it was not entirely my fault. Or maybe it is the opposite and everything is my fault and I am trying to get out of it all and trying to put it onto someone else. I don't know but it looks like a lot of other people seem to find all of this a lot easier. When I think about the things they have and the things that I have I feel depraved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scared and alone Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Ugh I know what you mean. Except, she did have to support herself (kinda) after my parents divorced. But I think she is selfish. Her way of being motherly is telling me to find Jesus or nagging at me. I love her and all but id rather just avoid her if I can. Which makes me sad because I want that mother/daughter bond. But your mom. wow. I don't get how she can say that to you. Even my mom wants me to go to school. And i'm sorry but you are NEVER too old to be studying. I don't care if you are 50 and have 2 kids in college. It is NEVER too late. And I sadly know what you mean about the getting married without telling her thing. I really don't care if shes there. I'd love to elope without her, honestly. Maybe I wouldnt say it when the time actually came but meh. I think mothers can just suck though. It's really ridiculous. Im not a parent, but I couldnt imagine doing any of this to my child. I just don't understand parents sometimes. *hugs* just know, you are not alone. If you need to talk more about this, please feel free to send me a message. I understand, sadly all too well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odile Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 There are definitely some weird family dynamics afoot. Certainly, though, you should own your feelings about these things. If you are upset, try to come to terms with the fact that she is the way that she is, and that you won't be able to fix or change her. It would be foolish of you to do anything out of haste or anger, because these examples of things that you say you fantasise about doing to "hurt her" (e.g., eloping, or never speaking to your mum again), won't help you, and will only serve to hurt you-- it's like cutting off your nose to spite your face. If your mum has issues, keep in mind that they are her issues. Parents are just people, and are as liable to err as anybody else. If yours have been a disappointment to you, then try to accept the feelings that you have, but recognise that there is nothing that you could do to make her love you anymore than she does. You are not to blame for how she feels, or the choices that she makes; and further, what she does says absolutely nothing about your value as a person. You are definitely not too old to be studying. She's probably just saying that so that she can justify to herself her unwillingness (or inability) to help you achieve your goals. If you are 25, and considered "independent" there's a good chance that you might be eligible for work/study programs at a University. There may also be scholarships or grants available to you as a "mature student". I think the wisest thing that you can do is focus your energy on achieving what you know in your heart will be best for you-- your future depends on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EQD Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 That explains why you have a distaste for women in general. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FarthestEdge Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 I've said this to you before CP If you even HINT to your parents that you think they are "ignorant, stupid and lazy", it's understandable that they might not be interested in helping you "better" yourself, so you can look down on them and belittle them more. Your attitude towards your parents is immature, judgemental and shows not one spec of gratitude for the contributions they made in raising someone "better" than them... You know, it's easy to make yourself feel superior by constantly putting down those around you. The real challenge, for people who really want to make something of themselves, is to elevate your opinion of others through understanding and compassion, and measure your success or failure against what you know yourself to be capable of- not what you think others have achieved, or failed to achieve. You need to get this chip off your shoulder about your parents. I read your posts and I have to wonder if their support of you has actually been destroyed by your own "I'm better than you" attitude...But I don't know. It's a chicken or the egg situation I could never figure out because I only have what you say to go on. And your words are dripping with venom, anger and a smug sense of superiority. This kind of thinking is draining. Your parents are who they are. You can either try to find something positive in them to respect and try to rebuild a relationship, or if you are convinced that isn't possible, then you need to move on with your life and stop worrying about what you don't get from them. But the self-pity and loathing of them will get you nowhere. Most parents want their children to do/have/achieve more than they did. But it's a big, dry pill to swallow if those same children turn around and sneer "you're worthless" after all their efforts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 That explains why you have a distaste for women in general. Totally agree. This is a firsthand example of how a man feels about his mother can impact how he will treat and view women. It is almost always a foolproof thing.... I do agree withyour mom in that if you are 25 and just started college, you are likely going to have to work FT to support yourself. Many adult children who don't get along with their parents have to work to put themselves thru college. It is what it is. If you even HINT to your parents that you think they are "ignorant, stupid and lazy", it's understandable that they might not be interested in helping you "better" yourself, so you can look down on them and belittle them more. Your attitude towards your parents is immature, judgemental and shows not one spec of gratitude for the contributions they made in raising someone "better" than them... Agree with farthestedge as well. If my adult kid told me 'mom you are lazy and ignorant' i'd have their bags waiting by the door. Can you blame her for being relieved that you moved? CP you are not a little kid anymore - your words and actions have consequences. If one of my kids talked to me that way i would tell them that i didn't want them ever moving back home as well. You have an elitist attitude not just with your mom but with many others in general. You feel superior to others but deep down it is all driven by insecurity which seems pretty apparent in your posts. I also don't know if it is a which came first - chicken or the egg thing with your parents - but if your attitude at home has always been like what we see here I would be very relieved if you were my kid that you moved out of the house. It would be too much to live with. Some kids really are just more of a handful than others. The unknown is if your attitude is FROM your parents and upbringing or some personality disorder or just created from your own self loathing. Can't be sure, but i do know it would be draining to have to live with. There is just something inside of me that feels some pity for your mom as if she has gotten doses of what we have seen she is obviously at the end of her rope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Firecracker Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 CaptainPlanet, If you want to punish your mom just continue being miserable, because a mother's worst nightmare is for her child to be unhappy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainPlanet Posted March 23, 2009 Author Share Posted March 23, 2009 Well in the entire time I have been alive my Mum has NEVER worked full time. She only works 20 hours a week. Most courses, Jaded Star, for the about the 9th time do not run in such a way that a person can work full time. I didn't talk back to her in that way. I spoke about the job on the telephone and said it might only last a year and after that I might do some study. Then she went off at me. Funny how you always assume I am the worst. She has no respect for education at all. She has no respect for something that is important and becoming necessary to get ahead. Which is what really angers me. They own their home. Me living there places no financial strain on them at all. She is simply selfish, doesn't like me and is totally ignorant of the benefits of education. Why ? Because she has never had to work for anything. Never faced the reality of trying to support yourself or raise a family on a low income. She has always put that burden onto my Dad. Even my Dad will admit she is lazy and unintelligent. Yet she thinks it better that I should struggle rather than spend a few years living at home. The principle of this is what angers me so much. Her negligible ignorance and lack of care for my well being. This is entirely separate from our personal battles on here and I find it wrong that you try to intertwine the two, JadedStar. So what if I do work and study ? The principle of the thing is that your parents should be there for you if you need or want their help. Which just further points to me having a bad family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainPlanet Posted March 23, 2009 Author Share Posted March 23, 2009 CaptainPlanet, If you want to punish your mom just continue being miserable, because a mother's worst nightmare is for her child to be unhappy. My Mum only cares about herself having more time to watch TV and eat choclate. J.S Both your kids live or lived at home. I left at a little over 18. I never got that support. You daughter was working full time corporate and living at home if I remember. If your daughter came to you and said she'd hit a dead end at work and needed more education. That she wanted a masters in statistics/computer science or something difficult to pass and felt she needed to live at home for a year or two to complete the course, but after that would be able to apply for a much better type of job. What would you say ? I very much doubt you'd tell her she is on her own. I understand why you think in that case it is wrong if your children were to consider you ignorant. I am a 25 year old child who works full time make ~$50,000 a year and lives interstate from my parents. Its just really frustrating to see people who are rich because they have a good education and value career advancement. Compared to my parents who think everyone should live on 30k. As I said it is more the principle of it that annoys me. Nothing stopping me from doing whatever I can do improve my situation. But what my parents don't get is that this country is fast becoming just like the USA. You won't be able to just work a job and have any sort of future in this country for much longer. Things are getting a lot worse very quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FarthestEdge Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 . I am a 25 year old child who works full time make ~$50,000 a year and lives interstate from my parents. Its just really frustrating to see people who are rich because they have a good education and value career advancement. Compared to my parents who think everyone should live on 30k. As I said it is more the principle of it that annoys me. Nothing stopping me from doing whatever I can do improve my situation. But what my parents don't get is that this country is fast becoming just like the USA. You won't be able to just work a job and have any sort of future in this country for much longer. Things are getting a lot worse very quickly. CP, Since when is 25 a child? You are an adult and whether or not you like it, your parents have finished raising you. At this point, they owe you nothing. If you have so little respect for them, you should leave them alone to enjoy their simple 30k existence. They're happy with it- it's not for you to judge. Grow up. Who ever told you that life, the world, is supposed to be fair? We all have different aptitudes, challenges, opportunities and obstacles. How you choose to navigate the terrain of your life will determine the outcome. So your parents won't support you getting a Masters....if you want it bad enough, you will find a way, even if it takes you years. I put myself through uni and I have been doing post-grad for over 6 years now, while raising two small kids and working full time. Oh, and my parents would have gladly paid for my uni. I CHOSE to do it on my own. I have asked you before what you think you are going to achieve by this incessant nattering about what "losers" you think your parents are. I think what's really bothering you is that at 25 you HAVEN'T had everything handed to you. You have a heightened sense of entitlement. This attitude coupled with your sense of superiority, and broad sweeping statements about how things should be and what other people do/don't do will not serve you well in the real world. You belittle those who have not achieved financial wealth, and bemoan those that do as having everything given to them. So basically in your eyes, everyone is deficient. I find it amusing that your signature includes the phrase "I love everyone" because for a 25 year old man who is just beginning his adult life, you sure have a lot of bitterness and anger. You cannot change who your parents are- and you have no right to expect them to... You cannot change what they are or aren't willing to do- and with your attitude, who can blame them? You can work on you. You can find a way to achieve your own goals. It takes time, and determination. Adversity builds character. And stop sniveling. For every 'Rich' person out there, there are at least 100 who suvive on 30k or less. It's not as easy as the media makes it look. There are parents who beat their children senseless, sexually abuse them, let them go hungry so there's money for drugs, send them to school in old, worn dirty clothes. There are families that live in their cars or in cardboard boxes. And you talk like yours are the worst parents in the world for not being willing to let a 25 year old man, who makes more money than they ever have, move home for free. Just so he can make even more money and tell them again, what losers they are.... You should seek counselling. You have a distorted world view and serious anger issues towards your family. You need to move beyond your disgust of them, make peace with who they are, and decide who you are going to be. But I can tell you, as long as you insist on being so harshly judgemental and elitist, you are going to be one lonely guy. You need to get over yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 My J.S Both your kids live or lived at home. I left at a little over 18. I never got that support. You daughter was working full time corporate and living at home if I remember. If your daughter came to you and said she'd hit a dead end at work and needed more education. That she wanted a masters in statistics/computer science or something difficult to pass and felt she needed to live at home for a year or two to complete the course, but after that would be able to apply for a much better type of job. What would you say ? I very much doubt you'd tell her she is on her own. I understand why you think in that case it is wrong if your children were to consider you ignorant. . No, she wasn't living at home. She also moved out at 18. Not because I pushed her out, she was ready to fly on her own wings. My son moved out at 19, again because he was ready to go, I didn't push him out. She moved out at 18, went to college, and a couple of years into college landed an internship and then a corporate gig as a fraud analyst. to be honest, i love my kids but would rather they not move back home now that they have been gone. I am doing a lot of living myself now. If one of them really needed to and there were no alternatives I wouldn't tell them no, but honestly they don't want to live with me now that they tasted freedom anymore than i want them to live with me. Sometimes CP we have to rely on our own. I am not referring to my kids because if they showed real initiative and that was their only way to complete a higher education to move back home I'd try to help them. But many many people at 25 have to find their own way and not fall back on parents, especially once they have been on their own for awhile. I really am not picking on you when i reply to you despite your perceived 'battles' that we have had. I honestly am trying to give you advice that might actually help you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melrich Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Why does my mother and to a lesser extent my father have to do everthing they can to make my life harder than it needs to be ? Because you have a victim's mentality. Everything in your life is the fault of someone else and you spend your days hating those that you think have more than you. You never accept responsibility for your own failings and you procrastinate until the cows come home about doing anything, finding excuse after excuse to simply remain in the rut that you delight in. If I were you, I would be looking for some adult help. You need a mentor or some professional guidance because if left alone people like you only become more bitter and sour at their fate in the world as they get older. I suspect your mother is as frustrated with you as you are with yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Firecracker Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 My Mum only cares about herself having more time to watch TV and eat choclate. At her age, she has earned that right. You shouldn't have one thing to say about what your mother does with her time. But you just don't understand this. You should not even think much about your mom at this age really. Maybe a call to say hello a few times a week. That is what is normal at your age, CP. You do need to get some advice from a counselor. If not, I don't think your life will improve a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainPlanet Posted March 24, 2009 Author Share Posted March 24, 2009 I remember you saying differently. But whatever, I found a new point. I didn't 'stretch my wings' I was pushed out, both times. I don't think I am any better than my Dad and it makes me very sad when I think about him. It is more my mums attitude that angers me she can live her life how she wants but that shouldn't interfere with mine. Most Australians will live at home while they study. Being 25 and living at home to study is not a big deal. Plus it would only be for a year or two. Why shouldn't I dislike people more successful than me? Plus what happened to the ENA cheer leading of 'you are never too old to study'? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainPlanet Posted March 24, 2009 Author Share Posted March 24, 2009 Because you have a victim's mentality. Everything in your life is the fault of someone else and you spend your days hating those that you think have more than you. You never accept responsibility for your own failings and you procrastinate until the cows come home about doing anything, finding excuse after excuse to simply remain in the rut that you delight in. If I were you, I would be looking for some adult help. You need a mentor or some professional guidance because if left alone people like you only become more bitter and sour at their fate in the world as they get older. I suspect your mother is as frustrated with you as you are with yourself. I'll stop being bitter when good things start happening. When I get a good job. When I can make $100,000 a year or more, when I have nice girlfriend to go home to but I am not going to sit around and act positive while everything is going badly. I could have done things a lot better. I have said that many times over but these fews years have been a complete and utter waste of time and I openly admit I have no one to blame for that but myself. However, I have myself to blame only for wasting those years - NOT - for the decisions other people will make on my behalf because of the time that I have wasted. That is out of my control and is not my fault. I don't expect people to add to my problems. You have ultra conservative points of view and I know that the type of person you represent isn't exactly sympathetic towards the average Australian or people who do not fit the mold of what they consider normal. So you have got to understand that I fully expect that behind your words there is sinister intent. I can see the way this country is heading. People are in denial. Things are expensive and wages are not growing. Maybe not now, or maybe in ten years time we are going to have a catastrophic recession/depression just like in the USA and the standard of living is going to drop tremendously. I am terrified and I do not want to end up as one of those faceless workers 14 hours a day living in a tin can. Sustained just to eat and sleep long enough to get to the next shift. Sure my parents might have had a good life but I don't expect that I should be able to expect the same without having a profession. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jusme Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 I know where Captain is coming from, I didnt get from his story at all that he had been rude to his Mum , Im assumed he was venting and thats just how he felt. The thing is ..I dont think he has a superior attitude to them, All i think is this..When someone you love treats you bad and pulls you down for years and years and made you feel worhtless (as his mum has done) you start to eventually hate or dislike evething they stand for . I expect if his Mum had been rich he would possibly have a dislike for Rich people not that he is bigoted , but because the bare likeness or anything that they stand for repels him . The thing is... he came here to get help and he is telling us his story , so its important that we help him, not his mother ..I suppose if she came on the forums Im sure we might try and listen. But I really felt empathy and compasion when reading it. I expect he tried to be a good son for all those years regardless of the lack of support and love he had... so eventually it gets to you and it becomes too much he probably loved his mum at one point but after a while something inside you just dies I guess. I do think she loves you in her own twisted way, The thing is she is probably a miserable woman with alot of regrets about her life , unfortunatley maybe you just remind her of what she could have been or what she didnt become , So its scares her, Some parents dont want their children to become more than what they were ,maybe its an ego thing. I know because I suffered it , My mother sabotaged my friendships,told friends i wasnt home when I was and hid mail from me &told lies and gave me no loyalty, and thats only some of it, I also believed she never loved me , she is a very angry woman who never went past grade 10 and has a lot of opinions on everything , but nothing to back it up. Now I dont have a problem with anyone who doesnt follow through school but I do believe she never wanted me to excel past what she became , so anytime I tried to suceed she would put it down and make negative coments so much so you get to the point you dont bother to pursue your dreams (funny enough she told me her mother did the same thing to her)She is alot better now , I used to let her walk over me . Then I started to tell her how she hurt me and how it made me feel , I noticed she would behave for a couple of months then start up again , but then I would tell her to stop treating me bad and she would, the relationship is alot better. I guess what Im saying is this , Tell her how exactly you feel , tell her also to that you dont believe she loved you, maybe this will be enough to wake her up and realize what her actions have done, I was feeling low the other day wondering why certain things had happened to me , and something came into my mind that said , Its not about what happened to you or what you missed out on in life , Its how you behaved , how well you conquered those problems and how well you treat people thats going to matter in the end. What I want to say is Dont let others baggage stop you from enjoying your life and succeeding in what you want to do, However your Mother treated you dont let that colour how you see yourself for the rest of your life , rise over it all and be the person you are meant to be , You are young you have so much ahead of you, I hope it works out well for you , go forward forget the past walk into to the new doorway of a bright future =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jusme Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Also wanted to say something , and Im not belittling your experience by saying other people have had worse lives because there will also be better off people than us and also worse off. Sometimes I think how nice it would be to have lovely sweet caring parents and how I envy those people that have great family lives and seem so self assured , but then what I think of too is there are so many people living and dying through worse conditions than I have ever been or will ever have. One thing I learnt early on is be generally happy for those who have good things come to them , because I think it will draw good things to you, and have compassion on those who are worse off than us . Keep looking forward , you can do it buddy =0) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 I remember you saying differently. But whatever, I found a new point. I didn't 'stretch my wings' I was pushed out, both times. I don't think I am any better than my Dad and it makes me very sad when I think about him. It is more my mums attitude that angers me she can live her life how she wants but that shouldn't interfere with mine. Most Australians will live at home while they study. Being 25 and living at home to study is not a big deal. Plus it would only be for a year or two. Why shouldn't I dislike people more successful than me? Plus what happened to the ENA cheer leading of 'you are never too old to study'? No, I never said otherwise. And CP NO Offense but i was pushed out of my home several times as a teen - I still did not whine like this at 18 much less at 25. That is what people are trying to tell you. That whining IS NOT going to make you successful. YOu dont have to stop being bitter - it won't affect us. It is only affecting you. I have not heard of any real abuse from your parents other than you don't feel they gave you what you felt you needed and to be honest there are TONS of people who had it VERY rough. But the point is, you make your own reality most times in life CP. And when an adult child does NOT get along with his parent why on earth would he want to live at home, even to study? There is NO WAY i would have moved back home to study. I didn't get along with my mom either, but it was HER house, and I was an adult, thus I made other arrangements. This is why people get frustrated with you - it is NOT your right to live at home at 25 if you are able bodied and able to work and especially since you already have moved out. If you lived back at home you would have a whole new set of gripes and complaints to add to your arsenal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 That line from "As Good as it Gets" by Jack Nicholson always rings in my mind when i read your posts... "What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you're that pi**ed that so many others had it good.". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FarthestEdge Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 I'll stop being bitter when good things start happening. When I get a good job. When I can make $100,000 a year or more, when I have nice girlfriend to go home to but I am not going to sit around and act positive while everything is going badly. . "When things start happening".... When do you think that's going to be? If you're waiting for things to happen on their own, instead of figuring out how you are going to make things happen for you, you'd better find a couple of good books to read, because you're in for a long wait. BTW-You'll never find a nice girlfriend who will put up with your bitterness long enough for you to become happy. You think everyone has some God-given right to $100k? Captain Planet indeed...the question is, what planet are you on, because it isn't this one... Here are your own governments statistics on earnings: link removed Take a look. It seems to me that you think that about 95% of your fellow citizens are living in squalor, because it doesn't look like any of them are making anywhere close to 100k. There's nothing wrong with having goals or dreams. But to say "I won't be happy until I have everything I desire" is a sure-fire plan for misery. I know that already you've tried several different career paths and are too impatient for results. It took me 15 years in the same career to build my way up, and I am still climbing. Most don't achieve success, especially according to your scale, in 18 months. The journey is as important as the destination. You need to figure out a way to be happy while you build your future. Also, here's another hint. You're going to need the assistance of others as you build your career. Which means you need to figure out a way to respect people who have more than you, even if you think they don't deserve it. You need to respect people who are in whatever position they choose to be in, because if you despise those on lower levels of the corporate structure, you will be an ineffective leader and not have their support. In short, you need to learn to have a more generous view of people, their career choices and the relative successes or challenges they've faced, or you'll never get to your 100k, because no one is going to want to help a 25 year old sniveling, bitter, angry person who thinks he's better than everyone else.... Would you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Originally Posted by CaptainPlanet I'll stop being bitter when good things start happening. When I get a good job. When I can make $100,000 a year or more, when I have nice girlfriend to go home to but I am not going to sit around and act positive while everything is going badly. Good luck on that. The way you are headed, this isn't happening. Thank God EVERYONE in life who doesn't make 100k or have a great g/f or b/f doesn't act like this. THis is such proof of your sense of entitlement. I know you hate it when I talk about gen Y but you see this out of Gen Y more than any other. What do YOU bring to the table as in valuable skills or traits that make you worth 100k or deserving of a wonderful g/f? I am not sure you can really answer that. You just want it just because you think it is owed to you. It isn't. THere are people 50 years old who worked their butt off to get thru college and worked hard on a great life for themselves who still never reached 100k or ever found love. Get over it CP. THis is not realistic. If my son at the age of 25 told me he was moving back home and not working and I was going to support him thru school so he can make 100k all the while having shown no signs up til now that he ever followed thru with anything, and with a nasty atttitude toward me to boot, I'd tell him no. I'd tell him to show me for at least one year that he can stick to a task and follow thru with it then come back to me and we'd talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melrich Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 You have ultra conservative points of view and I know that the type of person you represent isn't exactly sympathetic towards the average Australian or people who do not fit the mold of what they consider normal. I'm neither conservative nor am I not sympathetic to my fellow Australians. It's not about them, it's about you. Jaded is right. Your bitterness affects no one but yourself. You get constant feedback from many members on this site about your appalling attitude to just about everything and yet you continue to believe that all these people giving you the same message are wrong. You have given the people around you way too much power and until you recognise what you have become and then work to empower yourself you will never be happy. You don't need lots of money and a girlfriend to be happy. You just need to love yourself and you need to learn to do that again. I do see glimpses of a terrific guy in you but you also stomp all over that image too often to ignore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laisla Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 it's disgusting how people can speak about their parents like this. no matter how bad they've been to you, name-calling and gossip like this about them is really low. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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