acinom Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 There is this guy I go to univesrity with. He used to be very friendly and we'd have coffee together between classes. He used to compliment me on my looks,clothes etc. Once he complimented on my necklace while we were doing a class project and then said "I must refocus." He often touches me on the arm or shoulder. If I was telling a little story he would lean back with a smile like he took pleasure in it. However in the last few weeks hes been distant. I know its probably nothing to do with me its just that he finals are coming up very soon. However we had a lecture monday and I caught him looking at me accross the auditorium and it was hard to describe his expression. He looked at me, not idly but assessingly but he seemed angry or annoyed at me though we have always been on the best of terms/ I'm not sure what to make of it. I know there is sexual tension between us but it could be all mine. I also fear he's pulling away. Yet when we are at our project meetings and he speaks I think hes looking at me alot of the time. It is the only time i feel comfortanle looking at him for longer than a second or so. I don't know. that angry look confused me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 maybe he was eyeballing the guy trying to look down your shirt behind you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scorpion Fury Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Maybe he thinks you're not interested or he decided he's not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acinom Posted March 18, 2009 Author Share Posted March 18, 2009 Do you think he was jealous? I wish I could say there was a man trying that but there were none near. I was sitting by myself though as I had to rush from another lecture. I wasn't late but I didn't have my pick of seats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 maybe he saved you one and you didn't see it. who knows? could be anything really. you could have interpreted it wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acinom Posted March 18, 2009 Author Share Posted March 18, 2009 Maybe he does. I'm so terrified of making a fool of myself I do play it too cool. I'm very awkward I can't even do the casual touching thing. But I send him jokey emails and ask him about his sports and hobbiesas well as his studies and I always give him a big smile/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scorpion Fury Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Maybe he does. I'm so terrified of making a fool of myself I do play it too cool. I'm very awkward I can't even do the casual touching thing. But I send him jokey emails and ask him about his sports and hobbiesas well as his studies and I always give him a big smile/ So ask him if he wants to grab coffee again next time you see him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 So ask him if he wants to grab coffee again next time you see him. yeah. you know girls can make moves too OP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acinom Posted March 18, 2009 Author Share Posted March 18, 2009 You reckon he'd say yes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 You reckon he'd say yes? how would i know that? i don't know the guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scorpion Fury Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 You reckon he'd say yes? If he says yes, then maybe nothing is wrong. If he says no, it means maybe something is, and it opens the door to ask him if anything is wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 If he says yes, then maybe nothing is wrong. If he says no, it means maybe something is, and it opens the door to ask him if anything is wrong. or look puzzled at him, 'oh, i thought we had something between us' and look away. he will be so into you if he already is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosee Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Because of that comment he made about needing to refocus, I wonder if he likes you and is annoyed with himself because thoughts of you are distracting him from the study and he is projecting that out, hence the angry look? IDK if he wasn't interested why does he keep looking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acinom Posted March 18, 2009 Author Share Posted March 18, 2009 I think he might be interested which is why I posted here. However I have been told that if you ask too soon you could put him off. I know if he had asked me out at the start of the year I would have been scared off but now I would be ready. I suppose I need to figure out how you can tell when someone is interested and ready. Am I supposed to take those compliments as a hint? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 I think he might be interested which is why I posted here. However I have been told that if you ask too soon you could put him off. I know if he had asked me out at the start of the year I would have been scared off but now I would be ready. I suppose I need to figure out how you can tell when someone is interested and ready. Am I supposed to take those compliments as a hint? by asking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acinom Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 I don't think men like it when women ask them out. they may be pleased in the short term but they will reject you soon and you don't see them anymore. I have personal expereince of this. THen in a similar situation I was egged on with the same arguments as are being made here and yet again it didn't work out. Therefore sad is it, I realise that women and men still aren't equal in romance so all i can do is wait and hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COtuner Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 Maybe it's similar to the thread I had a few months back about guys looking PO'd or scowling when they actually like you. It confuses the * * * * ens out of me - could be the same kind of thing here. Or what I recently experienced - the person liked me and was looking at me, but his mind was somewhere else and he was mad about what he was thinking. The result was he walked by me twice looking at me like he wanted to kill me, then accepted my invitation to go out later that afternoon. Boy was I seriously confused Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acinom Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 The thing is that we've been out for coffee a few times alone and a few times with other people. one day a few weeks back i bumped into a classmate who he had asked to join him for lunch. I was just talking to her and he came by and said hold on ill get my coat to both of us. As i wasn't invited I left but then i got a call from her saying he was looking for me. We had this lunch arrangement for about two weeks. he initiated it but she didn't want to pursue it so it lapsed. When he was scowling at me in the auditorium I wondered was ha annoyed over that as it could be the only thing I could have done to annoy him. I know he finds me attractive. I have caught him eyeing me uo and he has told me often enough how nice my hair is and my clothes are. But if he ain't asking all the rest counts for nothing. he did jokingly reply to an email i sent him and others about coursework. It read what a woman!!!! But icoudl see him sending that and it not meaning anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laisla Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 maybe he was squinting? or just thinking about something else? sometimes when i stare out into space i end up with an "angry" look when i am just in my thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acinom Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 N o. He was looking directly at me. His eyes were sweeping up at my shoulders and then to my faace and when he realised I was looking at him he flicked his eyes elsewhere. All the while he had this intent, serious slightly hostile look on his face. I think he was thinking about me as he looked but what he was thinking i don't know. it unnerved me because we usually had such jolly conversations. Later that day he walked past me while i was talking to someone else. i said hi but he just launched in about a project meeting he was holding later that i had to go to. I went and sat about three feet from him and i don't think he looked at me once. this was all new to me. very out of character, but maybe hes just worried about schoolwork. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laisla Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 i wouldn't put much weight on this. some people may just be stressed or have things on their mind. do you like him too? talk to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acinom Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 Yes I like him but I have my doubts too. i do talk to him but i don't want to try too hard because i might scare him away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laisla Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 you can talk to him without "trying too hard". just get to know him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rivercitystein Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 Just ask him if he wants to go for coffee between classes. Considering the two of you have done this in the past I see no reason why this would scare him off. It seems a bit silly to me that you are doubting the friendship over a look at a lecture. Have a little faith in your friends. It is possible that you misinterpretted the look or that look meant absolutely nothing and you are creating drama where there is none. He may have just been having a bad day. We all have them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acinom Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 Yeah you are probably right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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