Ex has a new boyfriend but continues to contact me

[rangranger]

So my ex left me about 3.5 weeks ago. About a 1.5 weeks after that, she began seeing this new guy who she is now official with almost a week ago.

 

I talked to her in person once when I found out... and I ended up showing too much emotion and shed a few too many tears, but I held back from begging for her to return or promising to change.

 

Since then, I haven't talked to her but for the past few days she has called and texted me multiple times. I answered once after ignoring all her calls the first couple days. Basically, she asked me if I was okay and if I was mad at her, so I told her I was fine and that I was not mad. Then she asked me if I wanted to go with her and a mutual friend to get his haircut (we had wanted to get him a new hairdoo while we were dating). I told her maybe and ended the conversation. Then half an hour later she texted me to ask if I would be willing to pick up her medicine from the on-campus pharmacy after my class, which I responded by saying that I couldn't because of a group project.

 

Then the next day (today) she called me again, but I didn't pickup.

 

Now, I'm assuming my best plan of action is to initiate real NC? I'm not sure how I should go about this. Do I just ignore her without a word? Do I tell her that I need space to work on myself and then ignore her calls? I'm guessing that going with her and our friend is a bad idea?

 

I also feel like I've heard mixed things on here. For instance, people say that NC is the only way to get someone back, but then I hear people saying it's a bad sign for the new guy when the girl is in contact with her recent ex.

 

I've just been pretty distraught about this new guy... I know he's not a jerk and he comes from a really wealthy family. He's one of those kids whose family travels the world together and he flies planes for fun... However, he is only a college sophmore in the dorms and she is a super senior, while I'm a junior. He also plans to join the Air Force after college.

 

Help me wise ones!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

No Contact is the best way to go. She breaks up with you, immediately finds a rebound replacement and still wants to do stuff with you and expects favours from you....nope...whatever issues you need to work on, she too clearly has issues. A person without issues doesn't launch into a new relationship 5 minutes after the old one ends. She doesn't want to be alone without a boyfriend. She made her choice and now let her live with it...walk out of her life.

[top bloke]

Cut her out!!! What are you ? Her delivery boy. If she rings tell her to get stuffed !!! The hide of her...cut this person out!!!

[rangranger]

You're both right... but I still wish I could be with her. I don't want to say anything like "get stuff", because I still want to preserve any chance I have.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

Tell her you wanted to be her boyfriend, not her buddy, so buddying around with her while she has a boyfriend just doesn't work for you. Tell her she can call if she changes her mind and wants to date again, but meanwhile you've got to heal and move on to someone else, just like she has.

 

Then stop agreeing to meet with her unless you no longer care anymore. Don't be her security blanket or backup plan.

[top bloke]

You're both right... but I still wish I could be with her. I don't want to say anything like "get stuff", because I still want to preserve any chance I have.

Your only chance is to get away and find someone better... I used that as an example because i put myself in your shoes momentarily and yes thats what i told one girl...you dont have to..

Preserve your dignity from this user.