skyblue1 Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Hi guys, Well i thought i'd vent out because i feel i need to. Been let down again When will it ever stop? I don;t know why things keep on happening to me. I have been feeling positive for the past few days and now someone has runined it. I met a guy from online we hit it off pretty well. He texted and called me every day we were meant to meet today. I tried confirming it by calling/texting him but i didn;t get a reply. Don't get it! we arranged to meet yesterday and now the day comes i don;t hear anything. I don;t understand why? Can someone please tell me why i can;t meet a guy who doean't want to stick around with me? It's getting boyond a joke now. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timetogrow Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Maybe he is not confident enough to meet you up. Don't lose heart and keep on looking for one. I am sure you will find the "one" one day. cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ammy Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Hey hun, I'm in the same boat (see my post on the "dating" forum). I don't know why this keeps happening to us. I am convinced some of us just have the worst luck in the world when it comes to relationships - I am wondering how we get ourselves out of this rut though? Why do guys make plans and not follow through?! If they didn't want to meet us, then they shoulda just said that or cancelled, not leave us hanging, waiting. I wasted my Sunday on someone who doesn't even have the courtesy to send me a text and say "I'm not interested"... I don't know hun, I'm at my wits end, I too was happy again for a few weeks until this knocked me for six again and now I'm a crying mess again.. I can't take this awful cycle for much longer but there is no alternative, I have tried everything now. Ammy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sedated Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 To Ammy and Skyblu: we're complete strangers but I just want to say that feelings that you are experiencing are something I am almost too familiar with myself. I'm sure both of you don't deserve this. It's kind of sad when one gets to a point where you expect to be disappointed. Damn those flakey people in the world Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skyblue1 Posted March 8, 2009 Author Share Posted March 8, 2009 Hey Ammy I'm sorry to hear your still in the same boat I would like to advise you but i can't even advise myself with what to do or change. I just feel that men waste our time. I sent time communicating with him and nothing has come out of it. It's odd we have a pattern going on here. I wonder why we have this? hmm strange We will have to be thick skinned and handle it next time. It's just not him im upset about, its the same thing happening all the time. We will get out of this pattern sooner or later hopefully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ammy Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Hey Ammy I'm sorry to hear your still in the same boat I would like to advice you but i can't even advice myself with what to do or change. I just feel that men waste our time. I sent time communicating with him and nothing has come out of it. It's odd we have a pattern going on here. I wonder why we have this? hmm strange We will have to be thick skinned and handle it next time. It's just not him im upset about, its the same thing happening all the time. We will get out of this pattern sooner or later hopefully. I know what you mean. I too am not that disappointed in missing the opportunity of that particular guy, but it's more the pattern too. I'm consistently treated disrepectfully by men, or I don't get any interest at all. I'm over it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skyblue1 Posted March 8, 2009 Author Share Posted March 8, 2009 Nothing we can do apart from get on with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrazyKing Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Hi guys, Well i thought i'd vent out because i feel i need to. Been let down again When will it ever stop? I don;t know why things keep on happening to me. I have been feeling positive for the past few days and now someone has runined it. I met a guy from online we hit it off pretty well. He texted and called me every day we were meant to meet today. I tried confirming it by calling/texting him but i didn;t get a reply. Don't get it! we arranged to meet yesterday and now the day comes i don;t hear anything. I don;t understand why? Can someone please tell me why i can;t meet a guy who doean't want to stick around with me? It's getting boyond a joke now. xx Perhaps you do too much texting and far too less talking... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clarity Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Ammy and Skyblue, I don't get it - you ladies need to adjust your guy radars - you're HOT. Why can't I find women like you two where I live? Sounds like a classic case of girls being attracted to the wrong type of men? I'm not saying you do it intentionally, but this is a story that gets told over and over again. I go through the same thing - I think I'm selecting nice, down-to-earth girls, and they end up acting all flaky on me. I guess we can take heart in that this search is meant to be hard because of the prize at the end All the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ammy Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Sounds like a classic case of girls being attracted to the wrong type of men? I'm not saying you do it intentionally, but this is a story that gets told over and over again. I go through the same thing - I think I'm selecting nice, down-to-earth girls, and they end up acting all flaky on me. It's crazy isn't it? It's like we give off some unconscious signal to jerky / flakey people - "I'm a sucker, treat me badly, you'll get a good reaction"! Some people might just be able to brush it off, but I can't - it happens so much, and every time I think I will learn from my experience and it will not happen again / I will handle it better - but every time I get sucked in and feel shattered at the end of it. I have tried dating a range of different guys - the shy ones, the gregarious ones, the confident ones, the insecure ones, the sporty ones, the nerdy ones, and yet the result is the same - whenever I feel attracted to a guy, he jerks me around. I am not saying 100% of the time, there are guys who treat me better - but they are always the ones I'm not attracted to. No, it's not a case of me wanting the guy who plays hard to get, or being attracted to the bad boy. It is more a case that the guys who treat me well are not people I would consider having a relationship with for one or other reasons. Anyway I'm not sure what we all need to do.. I guess like they always say, it's a numbers game, we just have to keep getting back on the horse and keep trying. Like you say Clarity, it's supposed to be difficult so we appreciate it more when it happens - but seriously, THIS difficult? I feel like I have been battling this for nearly 10 years with no gains at all. Ammy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosee Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I'm sorry OP and I know how you feel..I was talking to someone who had contacted me on an online dating site, and we communicated everyday for a couple of weeks and we had things in common and he seemed genuine and you know you get your hopes up a bit even if you shouldn't. As soon as a suggestion to meet was made he disappeared. Frustrating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maverick554 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 He might just be scared to take the next step and interact with you in the real world. I've met some people online and succeeded; and I know a few who have tried to meet people online and failed because they just couldn't interact with the other person face to face. Maybe because they were scared, nervous, I don't know. But that might be this guy's problem, he may be new to it and doesn't know how to proceed. Try talking to him and seeing whats going on, if not there are plenty of other guys out there who you can meet online or otherwise who I'm sure would have absolutely no problem meeting you in person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 If this happens a lot with people you meet online and they cancel before the meet it would be hard to say exactly why this is happening without really knowing how the interactions were prior. it could be that maybe you are saying things during the online chat time that are redflags, or you could just be zeroing in on guys who don't really want to meet up (maybe just getting out of a relationship or any other variety of reasons). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ammy Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I don't think it's anything you (or I and others who have this problem) are doing wrong prior to the meeting. I mean if we were saying inappropriate things / coming accross as needy, nasty, boring or any other negative characteristic then surely they would just stop emailing / chatting. My question however is why do they go to the extent of making a date with us and then not follow through? That is what evades me - I mean sure if you don't like me, or my emails / chat / phone convos are boring, then cut contact or say "I'm not interested" - don't make plans to meet me and then not show up? I think it's so rude, and I have no idea what would possess anyone to do it. Okay lets even say they're "scared" or nervous - then they should just cancel - "Hey Sky/Ammy, I can't make it today." - How hard is that esp with modern technology of text and email where you don't have to even talk to the person? I guess skyblue, we should be happy that we didn't meet these jerky loser men in real life, they're not worth the time and effort (I once saw a postcard - kissmekwik - It says "What a waste of make-up" and has a very disappointed, apathetic looking woman on the card - it makes me smile - it's true, it would have been a waste!) Chin up girlies (and men afflicted by flakey woman syndrome), things have to change one day! Ammy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 what a wus. he either wasn't man enough to cancel or man enough to go through with it. lame. forget him. keep on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skyblue1 Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 what a wus. he either wasn't man enough to cancel or man enough to go through with it. lame. forget him. keep on. He just texted me and said sorry he didn't contact me to let me know. His uncle died and he was really upset so he wants to make it up to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 He just texted me and said sorry he didn't contact me to let me know. His uncle died and he was really upset so he wants to make it up to me. u gonna give him the benefit of the doubt? could be true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skyblue1 Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 u gonna give him the benefit of the doubt? could be true. He said he wants to make it up to me and he has been texting me all day - probably will give him a second chance. I guess things happen out of the blue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaBladeRoden Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 These guys must be crazy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosee Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 If it's true that's a big deal for him, so I'd definitely forgive the lack of contact..good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ammy Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Skyblue, I am sure he is being honest, people dont make up stories about deaths in the family. Give him a chance, even if it takes him a while to make plans (he is grieving). So there you go, sometimes we read into these things as rejection when really there is a perfectly valid explanation. (In my case, he just ditched me - he apologised stating he lost his phone, but made no effort to make it up to me.) Anyway hun, good luck! Ammy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Skyblue, I am sure he is being honest, people dont make up stories about deaths in the family. Give him a chance, even if it takes him a while to make plans (he is grieving). So there you go, sometimes we read into these things as rejection when really there is a perfectly valid explanation. (In my case, he just ditched me - he apologised stating he lost his phone, but made no effort to make it up to me.) Anyway hun, good luck! Ammy you'd be surprised what people make up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skyblue1 Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 you'd be surprised what people make up. Do you think he could of lied? I would think its evil if he did Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Do you think he could of lied? I would think its evil if he did if you think he is sincere, that really might have happened. i cannot say for sure. that's for you to accept and move on with or without him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louhere Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Don’t believe it…it is implausible! He is not evil just a coward! I am going through exactly the same situation RIGHT now!! These kinds of men are cowardly – they don’t want to face the consequences of leading you. They are just playing games…it is a sport to them and if you continue to allow yourself be strung along and become emotional vulnerable to the situation you will be upset by it. If some one is serious about being with you they would at least show common courteous. As soon as this is not the case it is a clear sign to move away from the situation. I think we women need to stop making excuses for someone else’s poor behavior towards us and get some self respect! In the VERY least we need to expect courtesy!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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