When guys say keep in touch after a date...

[stenciil]

So I just got back from a date. I thought it went pretty well considering we had never met before and only talked briefly online. We were able to carry a conversation throughout dinner. And we stayed talking for about a half hour after we received the bill even though our waiter was kinda evil eyeing us to leave. Once we left we started to walk to our cars and I had parked a block down from him so we both had to go our separate ways. He looked at me and said "I had a nice time, keep in touch" and then quickly hugged me and then we just walked away. Do you think he really means keep in touch or he just said that not knowing what else to say. What do guys mean by that? I mean this was our first date so I don't know him too well but enough to know that I would want to see him again. Do you think he wants to see me? How should I proceed?

 

Thanks and let me know if you want anymore information.

[annie24]

hm. i dunno! i usually let the guy contact me after the first date. i figure if he had a good time, he'll call me.

[lila...]

What does your gut feeling say? That ending doesn't sound too promising, in my opinion, but who knows, he may just be shy. I agree with annie, if a guy really wanted to see a girl again, he'd make sure to get her number and not leave it to chance.

[stenciil]

Well he already has my number so he does have a way of contacting me.

[annie24]

Well he already has my number so he does have a way of contacting me.

 

meh, you never know. i've had some guys say, 'i'll call you - let's go out again!' and i never hear from them. and other guys who just say, 'bye!' at the end of the date - and then they do ask me out again. so, you never know!

[stenciil]

Okay so I definitely should wait for him to contact me? Especially with how he ended it? Cause I mean I am shy and I know he is a little shy too so I wouldn't want to miss an opportunity just cause we were both waiting for the other to say something. But I also don't want to be rejected. I guess if he really wants to see me again he'll say something?

[lila...]

Okay so I definitely should wait for him to contact me? Especially with how he ended it? Cause I mean I am shy and I know he is a little shy too so I wouldn't want to miss an opportunity just cause we were both waiting for the other to say something. But I also don't want to be rejected. I guess if he really wants to see me again he'll say something?

 

I'd wait a couple of days, if he hasn't contacted you by then I'd call him just to say hi but leave it up to HIM to bring up a future date.

[ponyboy]

Okay so I definitely should wait for him to contact me? Especially with how he ended it? Cause I mean I am shy and I know he is a little shy too so I wouldn't want to miss an opportunity just cause we were both waiting for the other to say something. But I also don't want to be rejected. I guess if he really wants to see me again he'll say something?

 

Well, not necessarily. Keep in touch sounds like hes leaving the ball in your court to contact him. But you shouldnt be surprised if he calls you either. It seems like a very open ending lol. If your shy this would be a good opportunity to get some practice lol! So call him if you want! Even if its just a 3-5 min conversation just to say hi!

[stenciil]

I know I'm just afraid keep in touch means he isn't interested. I mean I usually say keep in touch to people I know I probably won't talk much too. I suppose I'll wait a couple days and then see what happens.

[solacean]

Another way to look at it is that he might have said this out of his own nervousness, especially since you say he's a little shy too. In fact he might be sitting at home right now wringing his hands and saying "Why did I say something so dumb! What if she thought I was blowing her off by saying that?"

 

Speaking as an outsider to dating in general, I feel like I am constantly seeing both men and women assuming that the opposite sex never does anything by mistake or accident, and assuming that every little word and action is designed to convey something. Sometimes I just want to tell all of you lucky dating types to just relax a little bit.

[Ammy]

I say leave it for a few days and see if he contacts you.

 

THEN (in a few days) if you have heard nothing, I agree with the above posters, give him a call. You have nothing to lose really - sure it sucks to get outright rejection, but at least if you call him and he says he's not interested you won't be left wondering - was he interested and just too shy / waiting for me?

 

It's too hard to tell from what you wrote whether he does or doesn't want to see you again. As Annie says, we've had all sorts of endings that "appear" good / bad and have the total opposite result. i.e. I had a guy say "good luck with everything" (I read this as goobye and good luck) and yet he contacted me again and asked me out 3 days later... So you never know.

 

Also, how did you feel about him? I often leave a date wondering WILL HE CALL ME AGAIN? and forget how I actually feel about the guy. Is he someone you see potential in?

 

Ammy

[stella74]

Also, how did you feel about him? I often leave a date wondering WILL HE CALL ME AGAIN? and forget how I actually feel about the guy. Is he someone you see potential in?

 

That's a good point Ammy! Those are good questions.

 

For me personally, when I hear a man say "keep in touch" after a date, I think it means he's not really interested. But often I'll wonder about it and try to look for other signs that he is or he isn't. In the the midst of all that wondering, it's easy to neglect realizing whether the man is really worth it.

[xxNPxx]

Another way to look at it is that he might have said this out of his own nervousness, especially since you say he's a little shy too. In fact he might be sitting at home right now wringing his hands and saying "Why did I say something so dumb! What if she thought I was blowing her off by saying that?"

 

Speaking as an outsider to dating in general, I feel like I am constantly seeing both men and women assuming that the opposite sex never does anything by mistake or accident, and assuming that every little word and action is designed to convey something. Sometimes I just want to tell all of you lucky dating types to just relax a little bit.

 

I agree. Most dating failures seem to be trying to work out little subtleties. Girls see a guy not calling and assume that he's not interested when the guy thinks the girl should call if they are interested in a second date. I've heard guys giving dating advice about the latter.

 

Ladies, if your interested and had a good time. Simply say so at the end of the date.

 

Guys, same to you.

 

Be sure to ask your date if they enjoyed themselves and if they would be interested in pursuing a relationship. Not being direct can ruin the chance of a relationship with someone you like.