avustt Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 guys are not monogamous people, its in their nature to have sex with as many people as possible. i have been with my man for three yrs he has a very low sex drive, i told him ill have a threesome so were trying to find someone. he looks at porn and masturbates. he wont have sex with me very often, maybe hes cheating? how can a guy be with one person sexually for the rest of his life especially if he doesent want sex with me now? im not strong enough to have an open sexual relationship. its so hard to think that he wants othe people way more then me. what should i do? Link to comment
adrenalyn-x Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 One reason he is having his "private sessions" could be that he feels somewhat inadequate (maybe even embarrassed) around you (his very low sex drive). I would not jump straight to the conclusion that he is cheating just because he is masturbating alone. This can just mean that he is trying to better his sex drive, with some visual aids, some physical stimulation. Have you confronted him about this and told him your feelings? Did he come right out and tell you that he's been masturbating alone, etc, or did you find it out yourself? As with not having sex with you often, same thing - he could be feeling a little embarrassed that he can't keep up with your sexual drive. I think the threesome idea is one way to go, providing that you are both ready for it. Unfortunately, you don't seem to be ready for it, which is completely natural. My boyfriend has also suggested this idea for us (we both have a healthy level of sex drive - the only thing is that mine is a bit higher than his...), and I too don't feel very comfortable with actually going ahead with it. "its so hard to think that he wants othe people way more then me" I'm not entirely sure as I don't have the whole story, but I don't think that that is how he feels about the threesome. It could be his way of helping out your sexual relationship with a little boost. Bottom line: you both need to have a good talk about this issue. Once it's all out in the open, you will have a better understanding of him and his behaviour. "guys are not monogamous people, its in their nature to have sex with as many people as possible" That is a very strong statement to make. Not all guys cheat or will cheat. It's the same as saying that all girls are like that. Link to comment
musicguy Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 I think that the title and content within this topic generalize guys...not ALL guys cheat. Link to comment
Hero_99 Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 he looks at porn and masturbates. Take that away and his sex drive will get a hugh boost..... Pornography and masturbation cause guys to become sexually lethargic. No matter how harmless it may seems in a way he is cheating on you with the pornography; he is lusting after parts of women he knows nothing about. Also, not all guys cheat.... Link to comment
avustt Posted March 2, 2004 Author Share Posted March 2, 2004 how am i suppose to take it away? i cant tell him not to do something it will make him want to do it more! Link to comment
adrenalyn-x Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 Take what away? You mean the porn? If that's what you meant, I don't think telling him not to do any of that is going to help. Firstly, you're right in saying that he may just want to keep going. Secondly, there is a way to work it out so that both of you get what you want and not feel pressured by the other, providing you're both willing to compromise. Link to comment
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