What is this?

[Mandoro]

Well a friend of mine and I play basketball every weekend (Fri & Sat night) during the semester, assuming neither of us go home(which is rare). About half the time we have a friend come along to play as well so its not just us two all the time.

 

Now what im confused about is what she is doing. First off, whenever we go play basketball or even after our sets of pickup games we have an awesome time. We poke fun at each other, complement each other, you know stuff you would in an everyday. I like this girl already so Im figuring she thinks the same way, but it always seems that after our basketball fun the both of us quiet up real bad.

 

What I mean by that is we used to go out to lunch just the two of us, but it seemed she wasn't having a good time because I was freezing up and she being shy as well didn't say much either so I just stopped that. So now Im figuring its a no go, but every weekend that spark re-ignites and my brain starts thinking.

 

I guess its my, oh like her, maybe she likes me thing and if I were to not think about it like that I would see its just a friendly thing, but man its hard

[Guest]

Basketball, not a very conversational game I would say (unless you're calling someone to set a pick I played it for about 20 years so I know this has happened to me.

 

If she knows how you feel, then she knows where you stand, and if you wish for her to know where you stand, then telling her would be best. So tell her what you've just told us, tell her you like her and you might feel a bit shy, but you know she's the coolest. Then the 'the ball is in her court' (no pun intended? haha).

 

When she sees you open up, she must react, ( and here you’ve demonstrated your maturity by stepping up to the line), because you spoke up first. So her reaction can again only be two things, yay or nay:

She may feel shy and actually say no, but mean yes. Or she could mean it. I would advise however, if she says this, let her know you still like balling and if it will ever turn into something more, that’s cool, and if she likes friendship, that’s good too. Don’t lose what you’ve had though let her know you’re e still a good guy. Basketball girls, and just girls in gen, just need a timeout sometimes, just think things through and notice you’re a good guy and not just a pile of technicals. Give her that time and be her friend.

If she says yes, well, great, and let her know she can tell you anything, and freeze-ups can just be laughs because you guys understand each other.

Anyway, good luck and good game.

Sorry about all the puns lol.

[Mandoro]

Lol best punnage (is this even a word?) use ever.

 

Ive been toying with the idea of telling her. I know im not good at all at dropping those hints. It would definantely put my mind to rest if it went either way. Ive been burned in the past by doing this and Ive lost a couple good friends because of it. So Im kinda hesitant. Ive always made sure to make it a point that I would still like to be friends after I ask a girl that because I am the kind of guy that can respect what other people want and eventually all feelings will fade because they dont feel the same way.

[Guest]

Punnage is officially a word yes.

 

If you tell her, she'll know, I'll put it that way. She will have lack of understanding if you don't tell her, and her having to pick up all the clues may very well be an unfair method of communication. A good friend, would stay by you, and not break up for something as silly as one not feeling a certain way. Remember, you guys are friends, don't forget that.

 

I have a question though, how confused are you about this? I mean if she really showed she liked you, would these clues not have picked up? Or she should say something. Is she the type that wouldn't say anything or to shy to open up?

 

If so, let her know you are harmless by showing it (never say these things, just show it, theyll see), and she'll open up. But if you want something out of her, and you aren't getting that, then move on, but I see friendship that I wouldn't want an unhappy ending to adjoin to it.

[Mandoro]

Well the thing is she hasn't, well not what I would think it to be. She is a shy one in that she doesn't really open up like that. I dont know how she acts around people she likes because as long as ive known her shes been single. Like I said in the beginning post, stuff like this only really happens on the basketball court and after. Other times when we hang out she seems distant and closed, I figure its just her shyness.

 

Shes alot like me in the sense that we both suck at initiating conversations or contact in any way, but if it gets started then we can roll with it.

 

Ive known her, since the beginning of last semester and last semester was reall the time we hung out alot (damn near every day) this semester its tapered off to the weekends. Kinda makes me feel like if I did have a chance I missed it.

[Guest]

So this is her first time, if she has always been single, she may not know how to act, and may want you to do most of the work because she doesn't know how to 'make the play'.

 

So you have the upper hand (you have been in relationships?), go in, tell her how you feel, she may feel shy, but it really is the right thing to do (its honesty!) and she'll respect you for it. Just show it too, invite her over, go out, watch a movie. Show you can be there for her, but make sure you tell you like her, so she KNOWS. The last thing you want to hear is I moved on because you didn't tell me.

[Mandoro]

Well actually when I met her she was just recently broken up. She took it kinda hard and I was there for her, trying to make her feel better and laugh It seems like they had met last summer and then broke up like last August/September. I actually have never been in a relationship so that Im sure adds to why Im so damn confused.

 

Last night was one of the nights where we actually had people tag along and play with us, one of which is a friend of hers. I only know a lil about him, but it seems like his intentions are for more than a friendship.

 

The place we play ball at has all kinds of sports facilities and one of them is ping pong. When I saw him there I felt like getting on the table and kicking his ass at ping pong. Then I thought better of it once I realized thats just my primal man side trying to impress someone. It was funny to see him play basketball cause he has never played. Couldn't help but laugh on the inside. She kept telling him to keep an eye on the guy he was defending

 

Even though he was there, our usual banter happened. She even had some extra fuel because I injured my finger and its all bent now lol

 

My injury just incase you are curious : link removed

[Guest]

A possible way to be sure there is some love flame between you two, is to send her a message through your actions. Let's use this example:

 

Take her out on a date,maybe get you guys something to eat, a date where you can talk to her alone . And just ask you know, maybe a lot of freezing happens because one is trying to figure out the other. Or maybe keep it simple, give her a flowers, and just say you thought of her. You know, nice and subtle. Show that you like her, and then again the ball will be in her court.

 

If she flirted with you while other guys were there, even when that one guy was trying to get a chance, she still came to you possibly because you are much more familiar, and likeable.

 

And wow sorry aboutthe mallet fingers, pure basketball injury, i've had several of those they suck!

[Mandoro]

Wouldnt it be weird for a friend to get another friend flowers out of the blue, especially if there is no history of it?

 

Is all that really considered flirting? Im very uneducated lol

 

Oh and I know this is very juvenile and whatnot, but my god she wore a tank top tonight while playing bball. I thought I was gonna melt right there. Mmmmm

[Guest]

You can grow together forever, but you have to make it clear that you like her (if you do). Just say that we are good friends and I really like you, I just wanted you to know that.

 

Flowers are a big approach (which I thought you wanted to make but you were too shy). You can just subtly say you like her. She will then either reject or accept.

 

Either way, you will still melt if you see her in a tank top. Rejection is a part of life, not just with girls, and I'm not saying she will. But it's honest to say you like a girl. And acceptance is also the balancing equilibrium. Straight up and honest is the gives the best communication.

[Mandoro]

The only real thing that sucks, is the chance that she may not want to be friends anymore. I don't mind rejection at all, its the loss of a friend that sucks.

 

Meh its clear what I have to do, now I just gotta grow the cojones to do it.

[Guest]

A friend has to understand too that closeness can lead to growing feelings. If she withdraws a little, she shouldn't just drop you entirely. Just do the right thing for your part, at some point in time, she will realize her unfairness, whether she wishes to state it or not.