babysunshine Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Valentines day is coming up and it will be the one-year mark of when he broke up with me. In a nutshell when we first started dating he was way more into me than I was him. He always told me I was his dream girl and that he couldn't believe he found me. I loved him very much as well but it was a bit unbalanced. Two years later he moved away for work and we did long distance for two years. In those two years, he became a very successful real-estate developer, met a ton of new people and I stayed behind (going to school) and got insecure. I think he finally realized he didn't really need me anymore and his self-confidence grew (to the point of narcissism I think...) He's now in super-shape, travelling all over the world, and is surrounded by gorgeous women. These things obviously had a huge part in him breaking up with me. GIGS? Our plans had always been that I would finish school and move to be where he was. But the long distance thing was so hard for both of us that by the end he was saying he didn't want me to move out there anymore. He ended up breaking up with me last Valentines day. (He had a trip booked to come out and spend it with me as it was also our four year anniversary) that he cancelled. This devastated me. I was almost done with finishing school and even though I knew the last two years were hard because of the distance I knew that once we were back together in the same city things would be like before. (we lived together for two years before he had to move away). I never got that chance though. Since than its been such a hard year for me. We have kept in contact all this time. I finally did NC for these past two months but broke it a couple days ago and it went fairly well. We both miss each other in our lives. The thing is, I cant stop thinking about if we had just broken up when he had to move away instead of doing a horrible two years of long distance, we would be back together right now. But since we didnt, we ultimately destroyed the relationship. Anyways, now that I opened the door of communication I know he'll probably call me again in a couple weeks and we'll talk again. Since we still are long distance I probably wont see him again until Thanksgiving (his family lives where I do). I just dont know what to do. NC will not work because we have done it on and off for a year and I feel more mature being able to talk to him every month or so. This time when we talked I didnt feel sad afterwords or anything. I guess what I'm asking is what to do now. I'm thinking since I opened the door back up for communication I'll just let him initiate most of the contact and keep focusing on myself and moving forward. In terms of trying to get him back is that better or is just disappearing off the face of the earth once and for all better? I would love to have another chance with him but since he is thousands of miles away it makes my situation even more complicated. People that live int he same city can at least slowly get to know each other again and maybe get back together. What choices do I have? =( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysunshine Posted February 12, 2009 Author Share Posted February 12, 2009 Not even one response? =( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveseer Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Keep letting him initiate contact, play your cards close. In the mean time, take good care of yourself and don't neglect your social life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unwritten law Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Take care of yourself and build your life. Do whatever makes you happy. You can't hold onto a false hope. I held onto a false hope and it eats you up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Since you are thousands of miles away even if the communications get better ask yourself if it will just help to confuse and hurt you more knowing that even if you got back together your insecurity to not knowing what he is doing, who he is with, and not being able to see him much will really bother you a lot. I agree with the above poster...take care of yourself and heal. I think you might be looking at the relationship right now thru rose colored glasses - this is VERY common for people who have been apart for awhile once they start talking friendly again. Try to retain the ability to look at this from all logical angles. What does GIGS mean? I've seen that here before .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysunshine Posted February 12, 2009 Author Share Posted February 12, 2009 GIGS= Grass is Greener Syndrome. Thanks for the responses. If we were to get back together I would want it to NOT be Long Distance. I am almost done with school and would be able to move anywhere. The thing is How do you bring up "Hey I graduated now, let me move there and let's give it another shot". It's been a year of my life that I have wasted and I'm still in turmoil. He, on the other hand is doing fabulously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dyoondj Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 it's not fair...i know. But keep on going. Tomorrow will be another day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnGalt Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Don't move to a place for a guy. That's silly. Move to a place that you can be happy WITHOUT him. If he lives in a place where you can be objectively happy even if things didn't work between you two, then win win. And if you won't see him again to Thanksgiving, my advice is to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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