babysunshine Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 He broke up with me Valentines day of last year after four years together. I continued to talk to him up until December. Easy to say that last year was the most difficult, heart-wrenching year of my life. So, finally I told myself the only way out of this mess was indeed NC. The longest I had done was 40 days during this past summer and although it was hard it was summer so the sun, friends, family and motivation made it easier. I gave in though because the curiosity of what he was doing, and missed him soooo much. This time, I told myself 2009 would not be anything like 2008. I am enrolling myself at 24 hour fitness tomorrow and also tomorrow marks 42 days NC. The longest I have ever done since this breakup. I made it through Christmas, his birthday, and New Years without one text or anything! It's hard though and I keep thinking what now? I just keep trudging along until I eventually heal fully? I'm still curious about him, how he is doing, what he's up to. I still miss his voice, his friendship, our laughs and his great sense of humor. Valentine's day is also looming ahead and that does scare me a little bit. Just to think of the pain and heartache that day will bring as opposed to how amazing it was when I was with him. Why did he have to do it on V-day and our four year anniversary? February 15th would have been much better.... or would it. =(. Anyways, Just feeling a little low tonight. but also proud that I am able to stick to something that I swore I could never do. (have him completely out of my life). Any words of wisdom and encouragement are much appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnGalt Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Don't feel low! 42 days of NC is quite an achievement. You are standing up for you and you are learning to make yourself happy and love yourself. We'll always miss the great qualities in our exes, but don't romanticize the relationship. Don't put him up on a pedastal. He broke up with you and you've gotta stay strong. Keep it up and as it inches closer to Valentines day and you feel the need to break NC.. come post here instead. Good luck and enjoy the gym Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloatingAnchor Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Try to surround yourself with friends or family on Valentine's Day. It'll help take your mind off. I find that there are highs and lows with NC. I'm at about 3 weeks NC, myself, and a couple days ago, I was really feeling the urge to break it, but now I'm better. Just ride it out and the urge will lessen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysunshine Posted January 26, 2009 Author Share Posted January 26, 2009 Thanks guys... It's so true about the high's and lows. A good friend of mine compared it to a rollercoaster ride. She also emphasized that I take full advantage of the good days, and realize there will be the low days. I just can't wait for the day I truly heal (no longer counting the days of NC!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissancewoman101 Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 What made you decide to stop being friends with him? Maybe you miss the friendship. NC might not be the perfect solution for this, if you think about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysunshine Posted January 26, 2009 Author Share Posted January 26, 2009 Ren, I remember you from almost a year ago when I first started posting! I know you how you feel about Nc, and while I do agree with you that it is not the only way to heal from a breakup , for me I think it has to be. I tried LC, and "let's just be friends" but it's very, very hard to go from being someone's love of their life, best friends and number one to...... just an ordinary friend. It really took a blow to my self-esteem and while I tried to pretend I was o.k with being just friends both him and I could see right through it. I do miss his friendship very much. It's hard to stop talking and let go of someone who you were so close with for over six years. But, when someone tells you they no longer want to be with you to me that translates to "you're great but not good enough for me". So, thankfully I have amazing friends and while his friendship is missed I will survive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addictedblue Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 What made you decide to stop being friends with him? Maybe you miss the friendship. NC might not be the perfect solution for this, if you think about it. I disagree with this statement because she said that 2008 was the most heart-wrenching years of her life due to staying in contact with him. OP, keep going!! After breakups people tend to only remember the good parts of the relationship, but don't forget how it felt to be dumped on Valentines/your 4 year anniversary. That was a crappy thing for him to do. Enjoy the gym, you may meet someone new there! One day you'll be completely healed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissancewoman101 Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 I understand. I know my views on NC may be a bit radical and off the beaten path, but then I like to try to keep people in my life, in various capacities, esp those who have meant something to me in the past (even if the ending was not so good). I will say that of all my long term relationships, I have never just had someone drop me like a dead horse, which is good. If you feel NC is the right thing to do, then good luck with it. It is not easy. I have problems keeping NC and, a lot of times, will constantly wonder what the ex is doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeagain Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 good for you!!! 42 days is awesome progress for yourself. kudos to you for putting yourself first in other ways, like joining the gym. it's tough, but you're doing really well. i'm sure you are also inspiring others to keep with nc, even when it is hard. keep us up to date on your progress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
huskiesfan Posted January 26, 2009 Share Posted January 26, 2009 Congratulations! 42 days is such a long time, and it also is a short amount of time. You've gotten a taste of how strong you are! Keep on going, and you will reap many more rewards! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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