short lived relationship, person avoids you?

[Anon333]

skittlesfae, thanks for posting, and Im honered I was yer first, haha...I know what you mean about relationships that die out....Nothing ever stays the same, and I guess life is about accepting what we cant control. I also think our minds play tricks with us to think somethign we cant have is ten times better than it is, or we can be totally in love with someone and one day wake up just not feeling it at all anymore...There are just too many circumstances to wrap our heads around it.....I think you suggesting this guy might just have feelings for me and be hurt is probably wrong...As mst people have said on this post "he's not into me". I really wish it was true what you say, but I just think he avoided me or didnt respond to one of my texts because he had other things going on and didnt want to bother...When he does run into me hes pretty friendly, but if he did have feelings and liked me, hed want to talk to me or hang out.....

 

As for closure..I came vry close about three or 4 times to come straight ut and ask him how he feltabout the situation. The closest I got to understanding him was asking if he thought it was a good idea we ended things, and he said "probably, but I like you"....I guess that was just a nice way of him letting me down...I really am getting over him now because the last two times he blew me off gave me that frantic push pull feeling that made me want to contact him and figure it all out..Now I have just accepted he's not into me, and it has pushed me away to where I dont want to see him or deal with him and I just expect him to make me feel crappy, so Im not gonna have any hope he'll come around anymore....

[EQD]

equestrian, what made you end up trying again 3 months later? Anyway, Batya, maybe our definition of spark is different. It is about attraction to me, and I know there have been numerous posts on here about attraction. for me, if the attraction isnt there initially, it never will be. Like I said before, if I went on 3 or 4 dates with someone I had no spark with, I'd probably feel I was leading them on and it would be uncomfortable too. I am not saying I need huge fireworks, but I do need something that makes me want to pounce on them (haha)..Or else, like all my last relationships, it will be a struggle of me not wanting to be intimate and not feeling it.....

 

it wasnt really a 'try'

i got into the mode where i didnt want a relationship and i was just interested in going out and having fun with friends. you know, just having a good ol time..... so he happened to text me one night that i was jones-ing for some sushi and we went.. then it just happened. we clicked and had a great time and i was like "oh sh** this isnt good!"

because i knew it was going to be more..

try not to be so critical about things, you go out there with the idea that you need to get down to business and you'll end up stressing yourself out and breaking everything down. Don't put so much pressure on it.

[skittlesfae]

Yeah, from reading the rest of the forum, I agree. There is a chance he might like you but a greater chance he just didn't want it. Otherwise, as you say, he would continue talking every once in awhile and want to hang out and just keep you in his clutches in general. I tend to go for the lighter part of situations, looking to the bright side maybe? That could possibly be considered settling for second-rate, I'm not sure but it's just what I do.

[Anon333]

thanks for the positive spin skittlesfae...,I dont want to have false hope or think he might come around, because it is just senseless....ANd in order not to have false hope I just have to believe he isnt into me at all and never will be..The never will be part is hard though, because I do think he is going through crap and hasnt had a chance to even date other people and see what else is out there after such a tough break up...I could see him wondering about me down the road if he is single a year from now..BUt that is all relevant and doesnt matter and may never happen..Anyway....Yeah, it is crappy how he acted like he really liked me and then just cause he couldnt continue the relationship he cant continue being my friend..BUt the reality is, it is best for both of us not to be friends anyway....

[Batya33]

equestrian, what made you end up trying again 3 months later? Anyway, Batya, maybe our definition of spark is different. It is about attraction to me, and I know there have been numerous posts on here about attraction. for me, if the attraction isnt there initially, it never will be. Like I said before, if I went on 3 or 4 dates with someone I had no spark with, I'd probably feel I was leading them on and it would be uncomfortable too. I am not saying I need huge fireworks, but I do need something that makes me want to pounce on them (haha)..Or else, like all my last relationships, it will be a struggle of me not wanting to be intimate and not feeling it.....

 

Same definition. I think you are missing out on many opportunities if you insist on feeling from the first date like you want to pounce on them. There are many reasons you might not feel like that ranging from nervousness - yours or his - your mood, time of the month, his mood, whatever - yes, I had to feel like there was potential for a spark but that's it. I would never feel led on after four dates - I would assume that the person, like me, was trying to figure out if we had enough chemistry to continue.