midnightrambler Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 but dont listen to me. i never know what the hell i am talking about. seriously. ever. no truer words have ever been posted Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 I very often start dating or talking to a guy, then get bored and lose interest. It's nothing personal, most guys just don't hold my interest, I don't see the point in remaining friends or anything of that nature. I don't usually respond if they continue to text me. They get the hint and stop. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Yeah...I think I do need to focus on me..I have been trying REALLY hard...I have my own issues and things I need to figure out...I question myself for being so hung up on this guy...It feels like I dated him for a year and we broke up, meanwhile he couldnt care less...I guess I really am not used to being rejected..But Moreso,I am not used to meeting someone I really like..In fact, its only happened one other time in my life, so it is hard to meet someone who really sparks an interest with you for the first time in years, and have it come so close to being something and then no chance...And now running into him...It still bothers me....ugh! a year or a month doesn't even matter. it's still the same. it might be a little bit harder after a year with all the memories and such, but same concept. what about when you date a guy and you don't want to be with him? or has this never happened? Link to comment
EQD Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 no truer words have ever been posted see? this man knows. middy is anything but facetious. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 see? this man knows. middy is anything but facetious. but i 'm supportive...even of bad decisions Link to comment
Anon333 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 I guess part of it can be wanting what I cant have...I wish my brain worked in the other direction like some...Where if they arent interested I move on and I am notinterested...The thing that sucks is that he seemed really int me when we went out on dates and hung out...He was very touchy and affectionate, said I was beautiful..He just had all these issues with his granparents dying and his girlfriend breaking up with him that year...He is in his own world I think..I keep thinking maybe he will come out of it and like me again some day...But the more I see how cold he is to me, the mroe I realize he is not going to change his mind...... Link to comment
EQD Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 but i 'm supportive...even of bad decisions which is a wonderful catalyst... or lack thereof... Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 which is a wonderful catalyst... or lack thereof... i always have your back Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 I guess part of it can be wanting what I cant have...I wish my brain worked in the other direction like some...Where if they arent interested I move on and I am notinterested...The thing that sucks is that he seemed really int me when we went out on dates and hung out...He was very touchy and affectionate, said I was beautiful..He just had all these issues with his granparents dying and his girlfriend breaking up with him that year...He is in his own world I think..I keep thinking maybe he will come out of it and like me again some day...But the more I see how cold he is to me, the mroe I realize he is not going to change his mind...... there you go again. it's all him and his and he. when will you realize it's all about YOU. YOU need to realize this isn't for YOU. move on. if he ever does realize you were great for him and tries to come back, you will need to decide THEN if it's too little too late. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 Ghost..If Im not interested in a guy I know right off usually...There are some guys I had a little crush on and was interested in, and then I tried dating them a couple times and it didnt work...But the thing is...I know I am not into a guy I date because I dont have a natural affection toward them to touch them or kiss them....I cant force that...So then I know it isnt right..With this guy, he was showing natural affection toward me, didnt seem forced...And the one night he was drunk, he was hanging all around me (which, no matter howdrunk I am, I dont do with guys Im not interested in)...SO I guess it was hard to understand that now he is just so not interested in me and freaked out... Link to comment
EQD Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Ghost..If Im not interested in a guy I know right off usually...There are some guys I had a little crush on and was interested in, and then I tried dating them a couple times and it didnt work...But the thing is...I know I am not into a guy I date because I dont have a natural affection toward them to touch them or kiss them....I cant force that...So then I know it isnt right..With this guy, he was showing natural affection toward me, didnt seem forced...And the one night he was drunk, he was hanging all around me (which, no matter howdrunk I am, I dont do with guys Im not interested in)...SO I guess it was hard to understand that now he is just so not interested in me and freaked out... you can be with someone for 25 years and they will all of a sudden drop out and do what he is doing. you should try and recognize that there are never guarantees. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 people change. it's why we date. we find out if someone is for us or not. i was really really into all of my gfs at the time. now, i couldn't fathom going back to them or how i was into them like that back then. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 Ghost...You are right..I know my mind isnt healthy in this situation. It is something I have always struggled with..I am just sick of being single, but even more sick of never meeting anyone Im interested in..Along comes this guy who Im interested in after being single for a year, and it was such a let down I guess....I really dont want to see him anymore....But I know now he will end up popping up at my work and around town when I am just getting over him.......The one night I saw him drunk, I had told him I erased his phone number because he hadnt returned a text....Tat was when he was kinda trying to talk and hang out with me and apologizing....THe next day he texted me he was sorry for being an A** hole...I wondered if that was his way of me having his number again..ANyway....I keep saying I will never contact him again..But this time I mean it! Link to comment
grymoire Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 But just wondering why they would like you enough to date and cuddle and be attracted to you, and then not even like you enough to be friendly here and there.... This is equivalent to someone liking someone else in a very friendly way but not interested in Dating them. They love every bit about the person, want to see them all the time, spend so much time with them, miss them when they are not around, go to the movies, dinner, concerts, games etc... but not interested in them from a Dating standpoint. I have wondered how could a person do all this and then be not interested in a relationship. Then I gave up trying to understand... cos its just not worth it. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 You two are right.....Equestrian and Ghost...I need to realize this stuff happens all the time and stop internalizing it in such an unhealthy way.. was so happy being single for the first time in so long right before I met him...Now I am bouncing back and forth between being depressed and trying to tell myself everything is okay....I dont go out on dates and meet people often.....I am just not that type of person...So I figure I have to keep living my life rying to make myself happy and hope someone else might come my way..But I really have doubts about that.... Link to comment
Anon333 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 grymoire..Yeah...I think they just dont see me/you/whoever as a girlfriend....Not that we arent good enough for that, but maybe not quite what they are looking for..Dunno.. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 not everyone is 'into' the kind of person you are. a better question is why a 'hot girl with tons of guys after her and a good education that thinks so highly of herself' is even bent up over a 'depressed social reject' its because he threw you off balance.. and now YOU feel like the reject, so he didnt give you your ego fix and youre desperately trying to get that back by any means necessary.. you.. cant.. let.. it...go. right? but thats just life. not everyone is going to love you and be enthralled with you. relationships and 'liking' isnt a one size fits all beanie from NATS. This is good advice. I find this helpful. Thank you. Link to comment
grymoire Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 I agree with EqD and Ghost. I also feel that more than you liking him in a genuine way you just feel drawn towards him because he does not give you any attention. You just want the attention back, that is all. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 maybe I want the attention back..But what I really cant get over is that the possibility of a real relationship with someone I really liked initially was cut off so short with no chance to see how it could have worked...Out of all the people I have dated, I never initially had interest in then..Usually I ended up dating them by hanging out and falling into that comfort zone..There was never sparks or infatuation or passion...for once in my whole life I could have had something amazing if it was mutual...But alas, it was not there..I cant help but to think it could have been there for him, had he not been comparing me to his ex, or dealing with his ex....I wish me met later on..seems the chance came and went... Link to comment
grymoire Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 maybe I want the attention back..But what I really cant get over is that the possibility of a real relationship with someone I really liked initially was cut off so short with no chance to see how it could have worked...Out of all the people I have dated, I never initially had interest in then..Usually I ended up dating them by hanging out and falling into that comfort zone..There was never sparks or infatuation or passion...for once in my whole life I could have had something amazing if it was mutual...But alas, it was not there..I cant help but to think it could have been there for him, had he not been comparing me to his ex, or dealing with his ex....I wish me met later on..seems the chance came and went... I feel for ya... I can totally understand what it must feel like.. Some times we meet someone, like them totally, want to be with them... but what if they don't feel the same way about us? There is nothing we can do about it. I have learnt it in a very painful and hard way Link to comment
Anon333 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 thanks grymoire...Ive had crushes where I kissed the person or something small happened, but nothing came of it..That was hard to get over when I really liked the person..But I never met someone I dated and got to know and felt that strong passion and affection toward, thought they might feel the same, and then it ends...Never had that..I guess there is alway some new painful situation around each corner..When will the new good stuff happen..Never? Link to comment
Anon333 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 its a matter of me accepting something I cannot put too much reasoning into..If I try to reason it, it will be that he didnt like me or my personality and that will just make me feel like crap..... Link to comment
EQD Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 its a matter of me accepting something I cannot put too much reasoning into..If I try to reason it, it will be that he didnt like me or my personality and that will just make me feel like crap..... thats actually exactly what you need to do though... honestly. he didnt like you enough. he didnt and doesnt want to be with you. but that doesnt mean you are crap. its not a one size fits all world. your match just hasnt been found yet. i actually went through the exact same instance in october or so.. i didnt have to work with him afterwards but it was the same deal. i felt a spark, we got along great and then he just pushed me off the wagon. only rather than say 'that must mean he's jacked in the head or i am really a crappy person/unworthy' i simply spit out the truth and thought 'it wasnt meant to be.' it either happens or it doesnt. Link to comment
EQD Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 and actually i wrote threads about the incident on here... its weird to look back on it... Link to comment
Anon333 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 my situation actually happened around October, I thought Id be over it by now..But I keep seeing him, and I am not interested in anyone else....Wish I was.....I dont work with this guy..But I work with his friend who likes me....I know I have to get over it in my head..and I know I will...But it keeps coming back and hurting me when I see him....It seems Im week to not be able to get over such a little situation and relationship that was not even real... Link to comment
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