Anon333 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 HI, has anyone dated someone briefly (a few weeks to a month) and then it didnt work out for one reason or the other and then when they see you or you contact them loosely in a friendly way they avoid you or ignore you? I know it means they pretty much dont want anything to do with you anymore..But just wondering why they would like you enough to date and cuddle and be attracted to you, and then not even like you enough to be friendly here and there.... I ask thi cause I dated someone briefly, he didnt seem over his ex so we broke up...He was HORRIBLE about communicating so I never knew how he felt or what was going on. But he admitted he was depressed and down about his ex one day and she was still trying to contact him... ANyway, I went my own way and every couple of weeks I would either run into him or send him a friendly text. on a few occasions he flat out ignored them. But then one time he was drunk at the bar and kept apologizing for not returning my text and kept trying to talk to me and hang out.....I had planned to just leave him alone for good, but he came into my work the other day and didnt even try to go out of his way to say hello....It bothered me alot and I wish it didnt. I have not pushed for anything from him and just wish things were comfortable and friendly between us, instead of feeling like he is avoiding me like the black plague....Does anyone have any clue why he would be this way? Do you think eventually he will come around to being happy to see me, or will it always be awkward now? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 i kind of do the same thing. if i'm out, i'll say hi if i run into them, but no need to hang out or continue as friends. people that do that usually are fishing for some response cause they aren't done yet. just move on. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 yeah,,I think he knows Im still crushng on him..I actually sent him a text saying I saw and he couldnt say hello? I guess that was a mistake..He said he was in a hurry and I looked busy...But I teased him he was the master of excuses and just said I hoped he was well....I guess I put him on the spot..It just bothered me alot..I guess its cause I still really like him and I wish to god I didnt....I have all these other guys chasing after me, and this guy is not anything amazing, but to me, I am still thinking about him a month later and getting stomach butterflies when I see him..Yet he wont give me the time of day..Its weird.... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 yeah,,I think he knows Im still crushng on him..I actually sent him a text saying I saw and he couldnt say hello? I guess that was a mistake..He said he was in a hurry and I looked busy...But I teased him he was the master of excuses and just said I hoped he was well....I guess I put him on the spot..It just bothered me alot..I guess its cause I still really like him and I wish to god I didnt....I have all these other guys chasing after me, and this guy is not anything amazing, but to me, I am still thinking about him a month later and getting stomach butterflies when I see him..Yet he wont give me the time of day..Its weird.... that means your texts or calls or whatever you send him are not just 'friendly'. you are fishing for something...anything. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 I wish I had a healthy NEW crush to get my mind off this guy, but I cant find anyone else to even have a crush on.... Link to comment
IphigeniaSaysHi Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Oh geeze. Don't think that way! Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Oh geeze. Don't think that way! exactly. totally wrong idea OP. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 Ghost, Im sure he knows this....So you think that once Im over him and he knows it, it wont be so awkward when he sees me? I just really hope that time comes some day and/or soon, cause I hate this situation....He makes me feel like a total reject...I know there is no such think as ranks with people...But I know I am attractive and have alot of guys liking me, and this guy I like is probably lower in the looks rank, doesnt have a school degree like me, and his personality is kinda just quiet...Actually he seems depressed and is always alone....When I dated him, I think he sat in his apartment all day and did nothing (maybe pined after his ex)...I cant help to wonder why h wouldnt be psyched that a hot girl liked likes/liked him....Instead I guess I freak him out.... Link to comment
EQD Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 i have avoided people and been avoided by ex-short-relationships. usually its related to the idea that they or i know the relationship was a terrible idea.. and they dont want to know you anymore... true story true story. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 woops..sorry...Dont think what way you guys? to try and find a new crush to distract me? Link to comment
EQD Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 not everyone is 'into' the kind of person you are. a better question is why a 'hot girl with tons of guys after her and a good education that thinks so highly of herself' is even bent up over a 'depressed social reject' its because he threw you off balance.. and now YOU feel like the reject, so he didnt give you your ego fix and youre desperately trying to get that back by any means necessary.. you.. cant.. let.. it...go. right? but thats just life. not everyone is going to love you and be enthralled with you. relationships and 'liking' isnt a one size fits all beanie from NATS. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 I didnt see why our short term relationship was a terrible idea..We both were attracted to eachother and had fun together...I guess I just wasnt his cup of tea..Or he still is really in the pits about his ex girlfriend, which it seemed..I wish he would just date someone else or go back to her.... Link to comment
EQD Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 life happens in mysterious ways. in truth you should be able to bounce back from this by yourself with no problems... so. instead of looking outside for distractions and answers you would actually benefit most from looking inside yourself. if you dont then you are really just wasting your time pondering. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 you need to stop worrying about him and just move on. why oh why do you think you need to be cool with him so bad? you are still fishing and i can tell. get your head straight before you do anything. even with other guys. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 equestrian....Dont get me wrong, I am actually really humble and kinda shy around people..I know I came accross as cocky explaining the situation, but I just wanted to be honest on this thread....I really like him alot and if I thoought he was a loser I wouldnt like him...He is a genuine sweet perosn and it makes me sad he doesnt feel the same about me....I was nothing but understanding toward him and have just been loght and friendly when I see him...I did told him the night he was drunk I worry about him.....I guess it is a matter of live and let live.....I just saw him as someone I really could grow strong feelings for.... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 equestrian....Dont get me wrong, I am actually really humble and kinda shy around people..I know I came accross as cocky explaining the situation, but I just wanted to be honest on this thread....I really like him alot and if I thoought he was a loser I wouldnt like him...He is a genuine sweet perosn and it makes me sad he doesnt feel the same about me....I was nothing but understanding toward him and have just been loght and friendly when I see him...I did told him the night he was drunk I worry about him.....I guess it is a matter of live and let live.....I just saw him as someone I really could grow strong feelings for.... his side isn't there. yours is. you have to learn to cut it off. you being 'friendly' is screaming for him to come back. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 ghost..you are right..I keep telling myself I should be over it, and right when Im starting to feel okay (ususally a couple weeks)..He comes into my work or I see him out. Usually he is friendly and says hello, but this last time I was busy with a customer and so he didnt bother to say hello...I guess it just verified what I already know, he's not into me...But it hurt all over again...I really dont want to see him anymore...I dont know why this guy is having such an affect on me.... Link to comment
EQD Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 equestrian....Dont get me wrong, I am actually really humble and kinda shy around people..I know I came accross as cocky explaining the situation, but I just wanted to be honest on this thread....I really like him alot and if I thoought he was a loser I wouldnt like him...He is a genuine sweet perosn and it makes me sad he doesnt feel the same about me....I was nothing but understanding toward him and have just been loght and friendly when I see him...I did told him the night he was drunk I worry about him.....I guess it is a matter of live and let live.....I just saw him as someone I really could grow strong feelings for.... no no.. lets be straight here. you need to pay attention to you. not him. you. sometimes crap just doesnt work out, its all part of life. you arent the first person who gets dumped by someone they could see a future with. it happens to all of us numerous times. its not uncommon, its not crazy, its part of life. the key is to rely on yourself first and foremost. and that is where the balance comes from. all your problems come from your past and your future. focus on the now, because its the only thing you really have control over. focus on yourself. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 Ghost...So I shouldnt even be friendly to him...What if I was just cold to him? I really am trying to just forget about him and move on, but its hard when I see him... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 it's because he doesn't want to be with you. this makes you want him more. the fact that you like him is about 45% of it. the other 55% is wanting what you cannot have. i've had girls try and break my door down when i explained to them it just wasn't going to work out. they'd call and say they wanted to hang out when i'm out with the boys...even if they brought their girls so my boys wouldn't be like * * * . but still...i know what was going on. they were trying to keep their eye on me or have hope that i would change my mind. not everyone is made for each other. you have to realize you thought he was compatible and great for you, but he doesn't feel the same way. you need to fix your feelings and just basically 'keep truckin'. Link to comment
EQD Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 but dont listen to me. i never know what the hell i am talking about. seriously. ever. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Ghost...So I shouldnt even be friendly to him...What if I was just cold to him? I really am trying to just forget about him and move on, but its hard when I see him... i'm in no way saying don't be friendly....just don't try and be friends. you are fishing then. stop with texting, don't ask about how his weekend was, etc. not necessary. simple hi's and bye's are it. unfortunately, you went the wrong route and tried with someone from work that you see a lot. that is your bad. you just have to keep your head up and not give in. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 woops..sorry...Dont think what way you guys? to try and find a new crush to distract me? I think your life and friends and hobbies should be enough of a distraction Link to comment
EQD Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 ^there you go. my answer with powdered sugar on top. and i agree. he's not going to think you are sly if you try to break down his door. he doesnt want you.. and thats why you are losing your mind. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 Yeah...I think I do need to focus on me..I have been trying REALLY hard...I have my own issues and things I need to figure out...I question myself for being so hung up on this guy...It feels like I dated him for a year and we broke up, meanwhile he couldnt care less...I guess I really am not used to being rejected..But Moreso,I am not used to meeting someone I really like..In fact, its only happened one other time in my life, so it is hard to meet someone who really sparks an interest with you for the first time in years, and have it come so close to being something and then no chance...And now running into him...It still bothers me....ugh! Link to comment
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