pumpkinmoon Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 So my ex and I have been talking and doing things together for almost 2 months now. We have broken up twice before (his decision). Last time we broke up it was down to a girl sending emails to me about him... Here is the post I made the second time he broke up with me... please help -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My ex and I have recently gotten back together over the last few weeks. Things have been going well apart from a few arguments. The other day I started receiving emails from an address I didn't recognise. Basically the emails were telling me to be careful and that my he was basically using me for sex and he didn't give a crap about me and how he had been slagging me off. I asked him if he knew who they were from and he said he didn't and I believed him so I didn't bother answering them again. Today I got another email saying that he had shagged his sisters friend just to shut her up and that she had been after him for ages. I phoned him to ask him if this was true and he said he had. I know its not cheating as we weren't together but it still came as a shock and upset me. I didn't have a go at him or anything at all. Was just upset. He bascially started having a go at me, then he wouldn't answer his phone and basically left me in a mess. So I drove to his house to wait for him because I wanted to talk to him. When I talked to him on the phone first about it he told me it happened about a month after he dumped me the first time round. That made me feel sick because it was only a month after we had split. He obviously didn't care about me that much and the break up didn't affect him. For me, I had to take a month off work, I didn't eat for weeks and lost a stone and half in weight and was put on sleeping tablets because I just couldn't sleep. I thought I was going to die. When he got home he wouldn't talk to me and went mental on me and told me to go home. I was really upset I didn't know what to do and all I wanted to do was talk about it. In the end I went home. He said he would talk to me tomorrow. Please give me some advice as I don't know what to do ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lately since we have been doing things together we seemed to be getting on well but I noticed that he never invites me to go to his house. I slept there once a few weeks ago but he said he had to sneak me in. This has been on my mind for a few weeks now and has been building up. Today I managed to bring it up and asked him why he hadn't invited me to his house at all. His answer was that he wanted to wait for Christmas to be out of the way first which i didn't quite understand as I don't see what difference that makes anyway. I asked again and he said that he has to talk to his mother first, I asked why and he said to see if you're allowed over again. I have to admit I was pretty shocked because I have done nothing wrong to anyone in his family or him for that matter. He said that it was because of what I did the last time by going to his house wanting to talk about it which I don't see anything wrong with. I was very upset that day and confused about the emails and all I wanted to do was talk about it as he wouldn't answer his phone to me. Instead he got angry with me and wouldn't bother. If it was the other way around and someone had been sending him emails I would have talked to him about it, especially if he was upset like I was. Can anyone shed some light on this? I don't think this is a valid reason for his mother being funny about me going to his house. Was I in the wrong for wanting to talk about it? I will also add that not long before this his house burned down and he lost everything. I was there for him and did everything I could for him. I had him staying at my house because he had nowhere to sleep but in his car. I tried to get some clothes together because he had nothing to wear. I gave some of his family members lifts to his nans house when they wanted and also let his mother borrow my car for a doctors appointment, this may not seem like a big deal but if they had wanted me to do anything else I would have done it so I think that his mother being funny about this is out of order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COtuner Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 It's kind of weird, unless he didn't tell his mother the truth about the breakup and is afraid it might now come out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 He says that she knows all that happened so I don't see why it would be so hard for her to understand me wanting to talk about it. I'm sure if she was receiving emails about his father from some woman she would want to talk about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveseer Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 You are right to be wary in relation to any topic he avoids discussing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 You are right to be wary in relation to any topic he avoids discussing. Can you elaborate a little? I don't quite understand what you mean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveseer Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 Can you elaborate a little? I don't quite understand what you mean. If you have a topic you'd like to discuss and he avoids it, there's a reason. If you are willing to accept this avoidance behavior than you are setting yourself up for a one-sided relationship. We all know how they end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 Yeah I see what you mean now. Obviously wanting to get Christmas out of the way was an excuse not to tell me the real reason and if there is something being said about me or someone has a problem with me I think I have a right to know about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 He was meant to come over tonight for the talk as I told him I think we have a lot of sorting out to do and things to talk about. He then invited me there instead! He said I'll see if you can come over. WTH? I declined politely and told him that I wouldn't feel welcome anyway and that I hope he understands. He then said the weird thing is that his mother "already knew" anyway. Apparently she mentioned it to him when he got home today. He said that she was fine and that she didn't have a problem with anything. Fair enough, but what I'm thinking now is she must have said something about me for him to think she would have a problem with it in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandhurt Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 You know what I think. lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kuiks8 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 SHOE!!!!! why do you keep putting yourself through this... *sigh* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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