lifelessons Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 We were together for only a few months but we had a very nice relationship. We got along great. Sex was great. Then he told me he had a significant other. He had a girlfriend in the military and she was in another state. That hurt a lot. It was very hard for me to hear that he had someone else after getting to know him and starting to have feelings for him. His girlfriend moved back in town and we broke up, But after about a month, he called and asked if he could see me. He came to visit and was pleased to find out that I wasn’t holding a grudge against him because he didn’t tell me about his significant other earlier. Then he wanted sex and I asked him what about his girlfriend and he said with a angry voice “I don’t want to have sex with her.” I didn’t understand why he seemed to be angry. He said he wanted something different. (what every that means). I did have sex with him that one time because I enjoyed having sex with him in the past but I’m not willing to have sexual relations with him while he’s committed to someone else. We were together and now he’s back with his girlfriend and he wants sex from me instead of her. What the hell? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveseer Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Maybe it's just too easy to get sex from his gf so it's not as enjoyable to him. Maybe she uses sex as a bargaining tool and he doesn't like that. It doesn't really matter why, if you feel uncomfortable then don't do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifelessons Posted December 29, 2008 Author Share Posted December 29, 2008 Maybe it's just too easy to get sex from his gf so it's not as enjoyable to him. Maybe she uses sex as a bargaining tool and he doesn't like that. It doesn't really matter why, if you feel uncomfortable then don't do it. Is it wrong if I like having sex with him? If I continued to have sex with him, I might be setting my self up for a heart break. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveseer Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Is it wrong if I like having sex with him? If I continued to have sex with him, I might be setting my self up for a heart break. It's not wrong to like it, but it's not generally acceptable to have sex with someone you know is in an active relationship with someone else. And yes, you very well may be setting yourself up for a heartbreak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifelessons Posted December 29, 2008 Author Share Posted December 29, 2008 Do you think he could be evaluating if he wants to remain in a relationship with her or if he wants to remain in a relationship with me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveseer Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Don't you think he would have been able to tell that by now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amipushy Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 The fact is that he lied to you for months without a thought or care for you or your heart (or hers), he was selfish and was only thinking of himself and what he wanted not of you or what you wanted (or her), that he still has a void inside that he fills with sex and needs a quick fix with no strings or guilt attached from an easy target who is obviously very attached to him and at which the very thought of inflates his ego like a huge air ballon on a windy day.... And even if you can forgive him for doing all those thing, when is all said and done when it comes down to it he still loves her not you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifelessons Posted December 29, 2008 Author Share Posted December 29, 2008 The fact is that he lied to you for months without a thought or care for you or your heart (or hers), he was selfish and was only thinking of himself and what he wanted not of you or what you wanted (or her), that he still has a void inside that he fills with sex and needs a quick fix with no strings or guilt attached from an easy target who is obviously very attached to him and at which the very thought of inflates his ego like a huge air ballon on a windy day.... And even if you can forgive him for doing all those thing, when is all said and done when it comes down to it he still loves her not you. How do you know he doesn't love me? I didn't tell you that. He did tell me he loved me. Your assuming things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LBP Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Ah, this old tale. He's a hot guy who knows he can get it when he wants it. You're helping him out. If that's what you want, an ideal situation for both of you. It's inconvenient for him sexually to stay 100% committed to his SO... She's gone a lot of the time and, because of that, he doesn't get sex in the quantity to satisfy him. You really have no idea why he doesn't want to have sex with her. You don't even know that's the truth. All the evidence you have is that he said something, a proven liar mind, and you've decided to believe it. His track record does not support this decision, but it may still be justified. If you want to have a casual, sexual relationship than that's one thing. Just go in with your eyes open. If you want to have him all to yourself, at least be realistic about it. He's cheating on his SO! Imagine that you're in a similar circumstance in the future - say, visiting family out of town while he's back in Hotlanta. Will you be secure in that situation? Look at this with a broad perspective. Ask yourself what you really want. If you want an open relationship with a hot, sexy dude who will give you fiery fornication, fantastic. You're on the right track. Monogamy is less likely. And be sure to use protection - I'd lay even money that you're not the first lady he's bagged while SO's been bearing arms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amipushy Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 How do you know he doesn't love me? I didn't tell you that. He did tell me he loved me. Your assuming things. Yea you're right I am assuming. Sorry but I was working on the odds of a man leaving his longterm gf for someone he cheated on her with, sorry. Has he ever told you he does? Or that he will leave his girlfriend for you soon? I hope so because either of you deserve a lying cheat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lifelessons Posted December 29, 2008 Author Share Posted December 29, 2008 Maybe he does have a void. That's what I'm curious about. I don't understand the void and I don't think it has anything to do with inflating his ego. Maybe he needed a quick fix, but I am not an easy target by no means. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amipushy Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Maybe he does have a void. That's what I'm curious about. I don't understand the void and I don't think it has anything to do with inflating his ego. Maybe he needed a quick fix, but I am not an easy target by no means. I meant that he already had you once so your easier than trying to find someone new. Listen, why don't you ask him what he is doingby coming back to you and hurting you both that way? Give HIM he chance to state whats on his mind and how he really feels about you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 I would wake up, and smell the coffee. I think he's quite happy having the both of you, and as long as you allow it, this will be exactly what you'll get. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baseball8 Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Have some respect for his girlfriend. Imagine if you were in her shoes. You don't think that if he leaves her for you, he will eventually do the same thing to you someday?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythical_Suicide Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Do you think he could be evaluating if he wants to remain in a relationship with her or if he wants to remain in a relationship with me? Not likely.. I can almost guarantee that you are a piece of a$$ from him and nothing more. I fhe wanted to evaluate the relationship with you two, he wouldn't just be worried about sex. Even if he did want to be back with you, he is cheating on his current gf with you who is to say if he got with you he wouldn't be cheating on you with her or some other chic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Applewhite Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Not likely.. I can almost guarantee that you are a piece of a$$ from him and nothing more. As painful as that might sound to you (as it once did to me) I have a hunch she is right about that one. Sorry. Let it go and move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatJules Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Maybe he really is in love with her and feels like having sex with her might ruin it. You wouldn't believe how many times I've heard that lately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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