Frustration

[rich_1517]

I want her back. i cant help it, she asked for two months to make a decision about us (no conditions, meaning we are basically broken up while she decides).

 

i have done no contact, its been a month, she called today because someone cloned her credit card and ran up 3k on it. wanted to know if I had any reciepts around etc, no i dont think she thought it was me.

 

she had previously been calling a lot while i was doing no contact, and then went way over the boundaries and then said she is still deciding. so I asked for a week of no contact from her, I did show my feelings and said at first that if you just want to be friends you will have to wait, if you want more then call me. yeah i know.

 

So this is like my tenth post about this, i love her and miss her, and want the chance, my confidence is such that i think i can handle casual contact and flirting while this period expires.

 

I am worried that if she has 0 interaction with me in person during this period she will let go completely, she has said she doesnt want to get my hopes up and that for now we have to be friends, but no she hasnt decided.

 

so do i storm the gates? while getting more grounded? the simple fact is i want another shot at this, and if i have to pay the price i will i just dont know how to get around the "no contact" thing.

[neallo82288]

Move on young man and heal the pain. She is deicding your happiness and there must be a reason that she is in such a mindset. There is something about you or your relationship that is bothering her. Man, she is keeping you on a rope incase she wants you back. Don't let her do this to you. Make her think that you cut yourself loose and you will see better results. You need time to find out what and why she id doing this. Yes, go with the no contact, but remember that it is you that thinks you can deal with casual contact and harmless flirting , but your mind is only playing games with you. Your mind is telling you that yes you can handle this, bbecause you feel you need her around you and that this is the best way to have her around her. Your feelings that yuo have stated here are saying that you are trying to cling to her. Trust me, you need to keep clear for your own sake. I know that it hurts and the only way to ease the pain is to see her, but in reality the pain will be much worse when and if she decides that you and her are not a good item. Realize that it is she that broke up with you and there is a reason for the break up. Take your time and heal yourself before you make a rash decision about being just friends before you are truly ready.

 

Your friend,

Neallo

[Turboz]

neallo is right.

 

This woman is on a power cruise - Holding the power of "Maybe we will, maybe we won't" over you.

 

Forget her. I've done the exact same thing and the more you allow the woman to hold the power the stronger her rejection becomes (and it's crushing ability on yourself can almost be lethal).

 

I've been there and done that and it's the worst thing that can happen. It's even worse when you get the "LETS_JUST_BE_FRIENDS!" treatment. I think some women just love to rip a mans heart out in front of him. They know you like them and then the friends attitude kicks in. You either have to take control of the situation and take her power away or let it go. Both are the most difficult of tasks to accomplish I might say.

 

Good luck

 

-T

[Athena]

"I am worried that if she has 0 interaction with me in person during this period she will let go completely, she has said she doesnt want to get my hopes up and that for now we have to be friends, but no she hasnt decided. "

 

If all it takes is no contact for her to "let go completely", then you need to realize that there wasn't much there to begin with or, what ever it was that was causing her to hesitate, it pretty serious. Fact of the matter, wild horses cannot stop two people who want to be together from being together. Think about your own feelings and what you are putting up with to be with HER.

 

Let her worry about herself and her losses. You've got some healing to do so that you can open your heart to someone else.

 

-A