ccny13 Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 what do you do to make an extremely shy guy more comfortable, and be able to open up around the girl (me) who he obviously likes and has told me and his friends that he likes. his very shy..makes situations between us in front of people or in a group awkward. often times he will not even make eye contact or try to initiate any conversation at all. i want to get him to somewhat be comfortable around me and open up..because if that never happens...neither will a relationship... please help!?! thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mguy92 Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Greet him regularly. Ask him how he's doing, ask him about class, just converse with him as much as possible. Break the touch barrier if it gets to that point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccny13 Posted December 25, 2008 Author Share Posted December 25, 2008 he took me out on a date about 2 months ago. we kissed too! but now...hes just gotten shy-er and shy-errr and more awkward...but he talks to everyother girls..full conversationn like its no problem!!! but wont talk to me!!!!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Time for you to ask him out on a date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccny13 Posted December 25, 2008 Author Share Posted December 25, 2008 you really think so....and even tho were both in college and im a year younger..and HE is the shy one. it wont make things more awkward right? wont it seem like im rushing him or making some thing that he doesnt want? =( please help!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forever1130 Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Maybe he's only shy around you cause he really likes you and doesn't want to do or say anything stupid/embarrassing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccny13 Posted December 25, 2008 Author Share Posted December 25, 2008 thats what one of his guy best friends, who im also good friends with told me. the guy is very slow..has never had a girlfriend..and is a virgin (so am i lol) ...so im thinking he doesnt really know how to handle girls correctly. i dont wanna make him feel rushed..but i also wanna get him to open up somehow to maybe realize that im good for him to be in a relationship with. he said he really likes me..but i think the reason he said hes not llooking for a relationship right now is just to cover the fact that hes nervous or that he doesnt know whta to do... you think so??? please help!! and thanks for everything so faRR!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forever1130 Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 I would just casually ask him to hang out, nothing serious, but maybe getting to hang out/go to dinner/just get coffee/whatever will allow him to open up more around you. Or try letting him know that you like him, maybe if he knows that he'll feel like he doesn't have to try as hard to impress you and not look dumb and instead he can just relax around you. Or you could just continue to try to hang out with him as a friend until he gets more comfortable around you and is able to open up and be less shy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccny13 Posted December 25, 2008 Author Share Posted December 25, 2008 thats tru!...he does know that i like him though. we have talked about it. and he does like me. its just that hes very awkward and wont even make eye contact with me if were all hanging out with a bunch of people. i dont want him to get the wrong idea of me rushing to ask him to hangout! =[ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bostonbruins24 Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 Maybe he's only shy around you cause he really likes you and doesn't want to do or say anything stupid/embarrassing That's likely true ,you should ask him out but if he doesn't accept then I would say he isn't interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solacean Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 That's likely true ,you should ask him out but if he doesn't accept then I would say he isn't interested. I have to agree. It's hard to imagine anyone being more shy around women than myself, but if a woman I liked actually took the step of asking me out (something that's never happened), I can't imagine turning her down unless I had a really good reason - you know, like I was going into surgery that day or something. And even in that situation I'd make sure to clearly let her know I wanted us to follow up with each other and make a date happen as soon as possible thereafter. (Shucks - now you've got me daydreaming what it might have been like if only I'd been lucky enough for something like this to actually happen to me! Shame on you. ) By asking him out, in my opinion you'd have opened the door wide enough for a shy guy to be able to step through without any effort. If he still won't step through the open door at that point, I'd start to think that something other than shyness is going on there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccny13 Posted December 25, 2008 Author Share Posted December 25, 2008 hahah thank you! thats also true. its not that hes s a shy guy in general..just around me when its with other people. when all of his friends and him and me hangoutt he wont talk to me or make eye contact...is this weird? is it also weird he use to put his arm around me or we would make out or watevr and he doesnt do any of that anymore yet still say he likes me a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 It seems to me that he may have got the impression that you weren't into him romantically. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solacean Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 its not that hes s a shy guy in general..just around me when its with other people. when all of his friends and him and me hangoutt he wont talk to me or make eye contact...is this weird? I don't think that's weird for a shy guy. It would certainly be easier for me to look at or talk to a woman I liked if I was alone with her, where I wouldn't feel the pressure of all of those other eyes upon me, judging me for my ability or inability to connect to her. People who aren't directly involved in such a potential connection can be a lot less sympathetic toward a shy guy's hopes and fears than the potential object of his affections might be; while she at worst is likely to gently decline his company, other people he knows who witness it may tend to keep bringing it up and using it as a reason to make fun of him without realizing (or caring) that he's sensitive to such jibes, thereby prolonging the pain of his failure. Or even if they wouldn't do so, that could still be his fear, as shy people tend to fixate on the worst imaginable outcome of any social situation. is it also weird he use to put his arm around me or we would make out or watevr and he doesnt do any of that anymore yet still say he likes me a lot. This is the part I don't understand. Shy guys don't usually get more shy around a woman over time ... quite the opposite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dennis619 Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I think you should spend some alone time together, for shy guys like me talking to a girl is hard enough, but talking to a girl with all my and her friends there is pretty much impossible. Also tell him you really like him, like a previous poster said, he might think you only like him as a friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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