veda999 Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 I think if you were absolutely crazy about his friend, then I might go out with him knowing that this could ruin any chances of getting back with this person. You don't want to be with someone just because you are lonely and ruin your chances with someone else. Yeah being single sucks but you don't want to burn bridges. I have done that and I regretted it big time, that's how I know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallshoes Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 I've wondered about this lately. I'm in a strange situation I've never been in before. Everytime I've dated before, if we get past the first date we're together for years, so I've never been on a few dates with someone where we both like each other but it ends for external reasons. This time I met someone I liked at a bad time - some stuff had happened to me just before I met him but I didn't think it had affected me too much. I did sort of think it was a bad time and did a kind of 'perhaps another time' thing with him so I'd have time to think, but then he was quite eager chasing me and I ended up thinking 'oh come on, it's just a bit of stress and you like him'. It was not just a bit of stress. But by date 3 I had lost my mind. I gave him the wrong address by accident and was then so tense and stressed out I was kind of rude to him (but pulled it back). Then I got stressed out about the fact I'd been rude to him and started acting really out of character by the end of the week (in a way that would make me look needy and like I'm taking the whole thing too seriously - and definitely over emotional - I said I felt 'gamed' and stuff). When he called it off (before date 4) he said he liked me but obviously there was something going on in my life (he thought maybe I'd just come out of a relationship). I explained that there had been a lot on for me and I had put too much pressure on because I was looking for a distraction from the stress and the way I had acted was embarrassing to me, he said he 'got' it wasn't my modus operandi and stuff. That was all fine, but then the week after I was into 'proper nervous breakdown' territory (the calling it off and stress over the dating seemed to be last straw when my mind was already on the verge of collapse) I got extremely anxious thinking I'd behaved like a weirdo (in reality I hadn't that much, I was overthinking) and sent a weird message trying to 'explain it away' saying I liked him and didn't want him going away thinking I was 'massively intense'. A week later, my mind was starting to come back to normal again, but not quite there, and I'm so embarrassed over the previous message I send another one saying I didn't want to leave it on me being weird, etc, and saying that it had all turned out well because I'd made changes in my life and everything that was stressful a fortnight ago was starting to seem exciting again (all true, but way to make it look like I took 3 dates too seriously). It was all out of being over-embarrassed basically (due to extremely high anxiety at the time) but I now feel like I may have made myself look completely mental...or at least very insecure... it's about a month after he called it off and I'm just getting over my breakdown (I've been off work for a month, I really did lose it for a couple of weeks and I've been exhausted since then). My thoughts are clear again and I'm back to normal apart from the tiredness. I started to think about it all again and remembered how much I liked him - he was pretty exciting - and sort of started to wonder whether it would be in the least bit normal to recontact him in a couple of months once I know I'm totally better and sort of lightly apologise for my behaviour, say something had happened to me just before we met and I hadn't realised how much it had affected me and that I had then been mortified. Then ask if he wants to go out for a drink now I'm more myself. As I say, I would leave it a couple of months anyway - by which time I may have forgotten all about this and he might have left the dating site we met on, or I may have met someone else - but I guess I'm trying to decide if it would be weird for me to do that after those messages kind of revealed, I think, how anxious and confused I got. It sort of depends on whether he trusts that I was having 'a one-off episode' (I've certainly never behaved like that before!) or whether he thinks I'm actually just unstable... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulTaker Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Nah, aint happened to me. Usually the ones I was only with two minutes, were the ones I had very little interest in, or they had little interest in me. Certainly not enough interest there, to want to try again anyway... I agree with DL. If it was brief, then it meant that I had no interest. Now if we're talking about an "ex", then that's a different story, because there was something I saw in them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I agree with DL. If it was brief, then it meant that I had no interest. Now if we're talking about an "ex", then that's a different story, because there was something I saw in them. This is a thread from 2008... Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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