is it possible 2 be friends with someone you are attracted 2

[eltee]

my male friend and i were on the verge of possible taking the step into the "dating" realm, but he is not ready to dabble his feet there just in case he isn't ready and he doesn't want to screw up our friendship. I think he still wants to date around, hes not ready to take that step, which is completely understandable and I respect that. so we both agreed to be just friends. but its so hard to turn off feelings and convince yourself that "i don't like him that way"...

 

have any of you gone through this (i'm sure you have)?

 

any advice?

 

i want to have a friendship with him. is it just a matter of time that things will fall back into it's right place?

[UnSweetMe]

i think the hardest thing...is pretending. but it's just that kind of situation where timing is everything. if one person isn't ready, then it won't work out the way it probably should. actually, i'm in a pretty similiar situation. so... i apologize if what i say is confusing...it's kind of like the blind leading the blind. =P but...for years i've been friends with this guy who got involved with what seemed like every girl but me. but i knew i was getting the better end of the stick because all these other girls just came and went... but i was always there for him. and sometimes i felt like he didn't even notice or appreciate that. and when i started to realize i had feelings for him it really hurt a lot. i would cry while he would tell me stories about other girls, and he never knew. now it seems like...he's starting to see me. so...what i'm trying to say, is that there's an element of hiding part of your feelings. and especially in your case where you've actually opened up the communication enough that he already told you he's not ready, then at least you know where you stand. my advice is to still be friends, but don't say anything anymore about a relationship. he'll feel more open and comfortable with you bc he won't feel like you're pressuring him. and if he's dating around bc he doesn't wanna mess up your friendship, that in it's own way is a compliment in itself. you are not just another girl to him. and if it's meant to be...he'll realize that you are the one. in the meantime, just play it cool as much as possible. believe me, i know it's hard. but in any case. good luck. and feel free to message me about it. looks like we're in almost exactly the same boat.

-mari.

[rich_1517]

time and space, i am friends with many close encounters with friends from earlier days. the point is if you really want to make this friends you can. the faster you move away from thinking of more the faster you will return to being friends. all of my past loves of even three years or more have turned to friends.

 

if you truly want more it may be hard for a while, find the answer in yourself of what you really want first. if its going to cause you pain to watch him date you may need space for a while.

 

hang in there

[Phoenix_girl]

I agree it is hard to put your feels aside and just be friends, but sometimes in the long run its for the best. I care deeply for a good friend of mine, we dated but in the end it didnt work out. He knows how i feel but he doesnt feel the same and that hurts, but I wouldnt do anything to jeopardize the friendship. Id rather have a friend and keep my feelings to myself, then try and pursue something and end up loosing my best friend. You need to consider what you have to loose and gain in this situation.