Anon333 Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Just wondering if anyone has ever had a strong connection, dated them briefly for a couple weeks to a month, and then broke things off because things were too heavy or timing was bad, or (my situation), they werent over their ex..and then some time down the road, they tried again? Does this work, or is it more common that it was a lost chance and gone and past....? Just curious about other's experiences.....Every relationship seems so complex and different, I know there are always exceptions and different scenarios...Seems people sometimes come into your life briefly, and you wish they had stayed longer, or they come into your life briefly and you dont mind them passing........... Link to comment
liquer Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Yes, I have. the timing was off 1st time round and we separated. We both dated others but slowly drifted back together again. For a while it was great, but the same problems re-surfaced the 2nd time round. I suppose we just let things slide again and I was too lazy to work on them. So, we broke up again as she was so unhappy and frustrated. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted December 9, 2008 Author Share Posted December 9, 2008 well..thanks..This break up happened because he wasnt ready for anything serious cause he was still all hung up on his ex...maybe still is....But I got out fast! Just wondering if people like that ever come around again...Not sure if its common, or it was just a fling that will always be in the past....didnt feel that way to me..But maybe it did to him.. Link to comment
liquer Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 well..thanks..This break up happened because he wasnt ready for anything serious cause he was still all hung up on his ex...maybe still is....But I got out fast! Just wondering if people like that ever come around again...Not sure if its common, or it was just a fling that will always be in the past....didnt feel that way to me..But maybe it did to him.. If he is still hung up on his ex...well you need to move on and forget him. Would you really want to be with a man who still holds a flame for another woman? Link to comment
Anon333 Posted December 9, 2008 Author Share Posted December 9, 2008 thats why I am moving on...But eventually I would hope he'd get over her..He was with her for a year and a half and she was just moving out of his apartment when we met....They had been apart a couple months..I know he really liked me, but had a lot of sorting out and things in his brain..So I walked away..Is it really that far fetched to think when he is in a better state of mind, something could work out? Im not waiting around..But he made a huge impression on me, that makes me hope we could have a better chance in the future... Link to comment
Ammy Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Anon333, I guess there is a possibility... but try not to hold on to that too much - I know it is difficult, I too get stuck on people, but while you are still thinking of possiblities with him, you are not open to meeting others. Ammy Link to comment
Anon333 Posted December 9, 2008 Author Share Posted December 9, 2008 Thanks Ammy..I am suddenly getting the urge to just call him and try to hang out again, or at least see how he is doing..I feel at this point I have nothing to lose, and I will know if he wants to hang out but is just too damaged to initiate, or if he just wants to be left alone..He gave me such mixed messages..I know he liked me..He said so...He kinda went with the flow though...Was the one to ask me out and on dates, but made it known he was going through stuff with his ex...Do I wait around to see if he ever calls, or do I take some kind of action one more time? I keep switching in my head..He tells me to call him any time...He wanted to continue to hang out, but I cut it off...Would a friendly call hurt..I was going to just go No contact for good..But Im curious to see how he is feeling after a couple weeks..I could end up getting cut down and hurt (most likely)..Or I could get the ball rolling again... Link to comment
Anon333 Posted December 9, 2008 Author Share Posted December 9, 2008 two weeks isnt that long I guess...Especially for him to sort his crap out...Maybe after the new year if Im still up to it? Or move on? He really liked me and I liked him..I know it... Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 i did, didn't last. same old problems re emerged Link to comment
NJRon Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Move on and... if down the road, he contacts you and things are convenient, then go for it. But, I wouldn't plan for anything. Otherwise, you can't really move on. Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Just wondering if anyone has ever had a strong connection, dated them briefly for a couple weeks to a month, and then broke things off because things were too heavy or timing was bad, or (my situation), they werent over their ex..and then some time down the road, they tried again? Does this work, or is it more common that it was a lost chance and gone and past....? Just curious about other's experiences.....Every relationship seems so complex and different, I know there are always exceptions and different scenarios...Seems people sometimes come into your life briefly, and you wish they had stayed longer, or they come into your life briefly and you dont mind them passing........... Did this 4 times with my ex in the last 9 months....UGH. Wore me out. Done. Each time a new problem. Link to comment
WendyO Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Move on and... if down the road, he contacts you and things are convenient, then go for it. But, I wouldn't plan for anything. Otherwise, you can't really move on. +1. He's the one who has things to sort out, so let him go do so. If he comes back to you, it has to be ON HIS OWN, and because he misses you and is ready. Though the possibility exists that you were interim rebound girl. NO ONE wants that! Good thing you got out, and again, if it's meant to be, he will be BACK and stronger than before! Link to comment
Anon333 Posted December 9, 2008 Author Share Posted December 9, 2008 Thanks everyone..I guess I have moments of weakness where I dont see any harm in calling him as a light and friendly gesture, especially since he said he liked me and for me to call any time...But I guess every time I call him, it would be a strike against me, as it might seem like Im checking in on him or still waiting for him...Which I did say, maybe some time down the road we can hang out.... The problem is that he really liked me, but can you really miss someone that much when your mind is on your ex and you only spent a few weeks with them?....It seems rare that after months, he would get up the nerve to give me a call...He would probably assume I moved on and felt rejected by him....I dont know... I like to think he wasnt looking for anyone and trying to heal, and met me who he really liked, wanted to get to know me, but just couldnt take it that far because he was all depressed about his ex....Anyway....I do need to move on....But moving on to me are just words.....In my head, I will still want him as long as I have not met anyone I connect with and feel as strongly about.....And meeting someone I feel that way about has happened maybe twice in my life! Ugh.... Link to comment
VioletFig Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Just wondering if anyone has ever had a strong connection, dated them briefly for a couple weeks to a month, and then broke things off because things were too heavy or timing was bad, or (my situation), they werent over their ex..and then some time down the road, they tried again? Does this work, or is it more common that it was a lost chance and gone and past....? Just curious about other's experiences.....Every relationship seems so complex and different, I know there are always exceptions and different scenarios...Seems people sometimes come into your life briefly, and you wish they had stayed longer, or they come into your life briefly and you dont mind them passing........... This was my situation. The guy wasn't over his ex who left him before their wedding for another man (he never knew she left him FOR someone she was cheating with until 18 months later) Every time he found out a new piece of information about the truth he both healed a bit, but also reacted in a self destructive way. It kills me, because pre-heartbreak he must've been the greatest guy ever. ;-( So to answer your question, yes have tried again but its been a whole lot of heartache and pain. Dating should have a much easier flow and the stop starts really poison the well. Link to comment
VioletFig Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 I like to think he wasnt looking for anyone and trying to heal, and met me who he really liked, wanted to get to know me, but just couldnt take it that far because he was all depressed about his ex..... Bingo. .... Link to comment
Anon333 Posted December 9, 2008 Author Share Posted December 9, 2008 violet fig..Thanks for your storry and sorry you are going through this....Did you date him for a short time first and then find out his situation? Did you break up, or he, and give him space and then he came back to you? Just wondering...Im assuming however it happened, he is still not fully recovered and you have to deal with it, which sounds like hell...How long was he broken up from her, when he met you..He probably didnt plan on meeting anyone, and then met you....And didnt want to loose a chance even though he wasnt ready...This guy has not called me in over two weeks..I know it takes long for him to heal..But I wonder if he even CONSIDERS calling me.... Link to comment
VioletFig Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 But Thank God , during all this I forced myself to date a couple of other guys. One guy was a super cool Army CPT from Bragg .... Not right for me, but was fantastic to have a total hot sweet smart gentleman treat me great. We're still friends and I think about him for comparison to remember there are other great men out there ! Seriously you should try distracting yourself too. The Holidays can be great, but so bittersweet. Don't fret & wonder about this man for a bit.... Maybe review your thoughts on him come New Years ? Link to comment
RougeKali823 Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Yup, was a disaster. Should've stayed away. Link to comment
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