I'm at the lowest point...

[kevinm]

So, as far as my dating life is concerned I'm at a very low point. Last night I went out on a date and ended up having sex (no worries we used a condom) but it was absolutely awful. Not only was I not attracted to this woman, but she was the worst lay I've ever had in my life. I say this in all honesty. I've never had worse sex. And then after, we sat there laying in bed while she rambled on and on and on about meaningless crap. I could tell she was trying to get to know me... I stayed closed off. I definitely didn't want to get into any sort of relationship. She wanted to spend the night, I asked her to go home.

 

I feel like such a putz. For a couple reasons. Beyond having meaningless sex (a guy has needs after a 4 month dry spell) I also feel a tremendous guilt. I feel guilt because there is a woman that I am suppose to date tonight that I really do like, and things seem promising. I also spoke with my ex who lives 3K miles away and hearing her voice made me realize how much I still miss her. But we also agreed the distance was too much to overcome.

 

Part of me wishes I was not a sexual being... that I had no drive in this area. It seems like this is the one area in my life I fail to be successful.

 

Kevin

[Cirquel]

Aww. Well, hey... that's a bit harsh. You're just going through a slump. All you can do is move on and try to use more judgement next time. At least you're dating someone else you think you could hit it off with!

[kevinm]

Well, it's not that simple... I suppose I should elaborate slightly. This "low point" seems to be a pattern. I can't find anyone worthwhile to date. Who knows, maybe this next woman will be great. But I either date people who are unavailable for some reason (distance, things changing in their lives, I'm the in-between guy, etc.) or I date someone who wants to have my baby and be married within 6 months. Aren't there any women who just want to date and see where things go?

 

Kevin

[real_life_101]

You just need to know what you want in life. Some people have that passion and just know right away, and some dont. I know almost all my relationships started out fast, and yes I have had some good and some bad, nothings a lock in life. I know people that have gotten married after only knowing someone six months and they are still married 10yrs now. Then I know people who dragged it out for years on end, that wound up getting married. I guess it's a comfort level you feel with that person that makes you decide which route to go.

[HeartGoesOn]

Not to sound harsh, but I wonder what the point is of having meaningless sex, with someone that you're not attracted to?

 

You may have a better outcome, and feel better about yourself by getting to know someone first.

 

This is just my opinion, and I'm not trying to judge you.

 

Take care...

[kevinm]

Reallife, yeah, I hear you. Heartgoeson, I hear you too. It's okay to judge, we have to judge to form an opinion. Now whether you agree with how I live my life... thanks for keeping that to yourself. I have what I would call an "enlightened" sense of sexuality, whereas others might call me a man- * * * * * .

 

I just need a way to break the pattern I'm in. I guess I need to start drawing the lines and demanding what I want from my friends and potential mates. And to keep things in check when necessary. It's just difficult because often I'm afraid of loosing. So I put myself out there to be trampled on. But I don't know how else to find love without giving my all. I don't want to become bitter and jaded.

 

Yes, I need to stop the sleeping around... unless they are super hot, lol. That's an uncouth thing to say, but I know some people reading this will and do understand. Don't be afraid people, there are those who will try and bully this forum. Those who love sex hold your hand up!!!

 

Kevin

[hers]

High 5 for casual sex!

 

Kevin, email me back!