I'm so sick of being single!

[Nifty_Swifty1]

I've been single for 5 1/2 months now and it's driving me crazy. I hate being alone. I came to this sight shortly after the break up, and asked a bit of advice, none of which did me any good. I gave a bit of advice along the way too. I can't hardly make myself read any of these posts anymore. I just remember how little it did for me. There are a couple of people that have came back and told me that I've helped them, and that's great and all, but there's been so many more that have told me that they have dismissed what I've said all together. It's easy to tell who actually come here for advice and who only wants someone to tell them what they want to hear, and I can't even make myself respond to those any more.

 

… Well, that has nothing to do with what I wanted to ask, but I'll leave it anyway.

 

My question is to those of you from rule communities. It's so hard to find anyone descent. How do you find anyone? There isn't any way to get away form the same old same old, so how can you ever hope to find someone? I guess I'm just getting frustrated and it can't be as bad as it seems, but if there is anyone that could give me any advice I would love that. Feel free to comment on my little blurb at the beginning too.

[Tr0ubledGuy]

Hey man. I know what you are talking about when people come hear to be told what they want to hear. Especially ones the ones that come on hear, make a topic about does he/she like me etc. And list reasons they think the other person likes them but don't provide any reasons for what makes them doubt whether the other person likes them. Some of them are really obvious which they already seem to know. Although there are some real legit ones.

 

Anyways dealing with your problem. I have lived in Rural areas for most of my life, however I have had a longer single senetence than you so take my advice however you will. And what I say you probaly have heard/read it before. It is going to be tougher to meet someone in a rural area alone. You got to get into the city and get involved in whats going on. The rural community is like a small town, most people know each other, not neccissarily a lot to do.

[Nifty_Swifty1]

I just have one problem bro. I live in Kansas and the closest real city is 80 miles away, I was hopeing to get some advice on how to find someone a little closer to home. Thanks for the advice though. If all else fails I guess I'll have to do that.

[Athena]

Hey Nifty,

Rural life can be heaven if you're with the person you want to be with, and hell if you are still looking. No doubt it's difficult to find the one for you when there simply aren't that many people to choose from. In order to find people who you might be interested in, you have to put yourself in proximity of others.

 

I would encourage you to start doing things that you really like to do. You will have to be OK with doing things alone. The cool thing about doing things alone is it leaves you tremedous freedom to meet others pretty easily. How about traveling? Even just weekend trips can be a great adventure and you can meet lots of intersting people.

 

Of course there is the online dating services which typically sort by location.

 

Get out there. Be the kind of person that you would like to meet.

 

-A

[ForAnother]

Being only 17 I don't think I have too much to offer to you other than from my very little experience.

 

When i am single (twice in my life maybe, hah I am so young) I find it easier to not try to meet someone. Like just talk to people cuz they are. And the less you think about being in a relationship the quicker it may come. I find having the "I am not gonna date someone this year (High school lol)" attitude works to take things off your mind. Go do something crazy. Bunjee jumping is an incredible rush. It makes you wonder...

 

"What if I die now?"

 

Odd to hear that, but... I think the best part of life is not knowing when we are going to die.

 

After all I am only 17

 

ForAnother

[vfunkera]

hey Nifty_Swifty,

 

Lets tackle the first part of your post without me giving a lechour or us making a scene out of it. I am firstly sorry that you have not benefitted from this site the way the majority of us have, and thank you for still being around since Sept 9 2003 and posting almost 300 times.

 

Your and every other member's advice here is appreciated, and it does make a difference. Just because one person or the original poster doesn't appreciate what you are saying doesn't mean that everyone else doesn't. Your reply does not benefit only the people participating in the post- but for all the 100s of guests, and other observers reading because they are probably looking for answers in the same situation that they can relate to. Many people will be reading this topic now because they want to see some techniques and ways to get more dates and a girl/boyfriend.

 

I recognise you here because i have seen you post a lot (for a start you have more contributed more then i have), and also because i think you give very good advice. And I'm not saying that to be nice. People don't come here to hear what they want. Its just that they sometimes find it hard to digest that the way forward is not the way they were expecting, and this leads them to make additional similar posts to see if they can find alternatives, or to simply confirm their judgement and make sure they have not missed anything out. In time and experience they will learn -just as i have since my first post- that the original replies were spot on. I can give you many examples, particularly those who had doubts in the 'no-contact' rule, and are now reaping the rewards. Have patience, and i encourage people to post in if they have doubts or are looking for advice. Thats what we are hear for, and thats what this site is about.

 

Now for being sick of being single. I know exactly how you feel, and i find it frustrating because my main aim in life is to find love again- something i find worth living for.

 

A good place to start is to remember how you first met your ex or exes. What did you do to attract them, and how or what did you do to fall into such a situation. Chances are it will work again, so try that.

 

I will speak from experience so it is proven. I met my ex through some friends in a club, and i was pretty confident at the time because i was actually going for another girl, so i was looking good. In the process i impressed my ex- she called it love a first sight- without even realising it! It also backs the claim that you don't find love, it finds you. Neither of us were expecting to go out that night and meet our next partners- in my case some other then the one i was chasing.

 

I met my ex, and all my exes for that matter, through friends and socialising. So thats a safe bet for me. You don't live in a city so i guess its hard. Try to link up with friends and meet new girls and people. New friends out them, and then link up with them. Your bound to see someone.

 

I also got girl's attentions at different institutions and clubs i go to. This ranges from college, university, work, and pool/snooker clubs and swimming, and also in the gym, where i gained at least one interest from each. Places where people gather. Though i never persude any of those interests, i have realised that if i continue to go to gatherings regularly, your bound to meet at least someone their.

 

Thats all from experience. Someone might have better advice and should include it, but i hope my advice has at least helped someone out their if not you Swifty. Good luck!