ACCCCK! (updated) Votes please

[rich_1517]

Hmmm. background: she broke up with me two and half weeks ago. Huge surprise. 3 years. good couple, have some issues but mostly decent match.

 

I have had problems with her "stuff" and made it an excuse not to move in on two invitations. She broke it off saying it wasnt working. I imediately told her my mistakes, selfish, stubborn, but mostly i was being uncomittal. She said i need two months.

 

Begin "No Contact" i havent called her, etc etc. She has been calling me, a lot. I started not answering some for fear of it being "too" comfortable for her. how can she find anything out if she isnt alone? or dating, etc, etc.

 

So now. I needed to pick up stuff from her moms who mocving. Said i had a friend who would help and i would do it tomorrow. She says "no. no ill help you do it ill pick you up and well use the truck". She also changed from picking her stuff up to saying um later lets not worry about it.

 

And "i miss you" has changed to "i miss hanging out with you"

 

she asked "am i sending mixed signals?" and "i still have to figure some things out". um ok.

 

So when i see her these are the options i see please advise (combinatons allowed )

 

1. play it honest - "yes you are sendnig mixed signals, i question whether you can get an accurate read on your feelings about us if we are talking all the time"

 

2. be "limited contact" pick up the stuff, make small talk, say i miss you too when she says it again, dont take it any further unless she does"

 

3. set boudnaries "if you truly want to see what you want why dont you really try no contact and live with the outcome?"

 

4. From the heart "look you really dont seem like your into this two month thing, do you want to talk about how we can make this work, then go to separate corners and think about it, you tell me your fears, ill tell you mine and then lets see?"

 

5. aloof "hey thanks for the help, im glad we got this done, its great to see you, no i dont think we should talk, actually i have to get going"

 

 

Me: I want to give it another try, i realize (balanced) what i did wrong and if the two of us are willing to compromise then for gods sake we have a level of acceptance, humor, trust, friendship and love than most people ever find.

 

Your votes - write ins allowed.

 

Thanks

[jclaam]

Hey rhone 101,

 

I really sorry to hear that your ex has all sudden catch interests in you once again. I don't know for what reason whether is with good or bad intentions. I want you to ask yourself this question and answer honestly. Do you really want her back? Is it worth while to have her back? Is it even worth? Will she just hurt again? I know that by saying all these questions to you might not really help you. Like you said, you really don't know why she is all sudden calling you everyday. Is it that she is lonely and just wants someone to satisfy her needs. The most important thing is to be strong and I know is really easy to say. Be strong and stand up for yourself. I know we can all sit here and tell all sort of advice. However the most important thing is to do what makes you happy that is all. That is the most important thing is what makes you happy. If you think that she will hurt you once again. Then you need to just put your foot down and let her go. If you really truly love someone then you will let them go. If they dont' come back to you then they were never yours to begin with. Maybe you need to tell her that you need some time to think about things. I would say that continue with the "No contact" and follow with small talk. remember to just take it easy and go with the flow. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!

 

jclaam