babysunshine Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 He broke up with me in February after 4 years. Haven't done more than 40 days NC since then. We talk every day, or at least some texts throughout the day. I feel that unless I do a complete NC cold turkey, this could drag on for a long time. Why can't I just let go? Four year relationship and almost a year of me clinging on. I don't want to still be on this board years from now with the same issue. I'm afraid to tell him I am going NC because I have probably told him over a million times and managed to not call for a week or so maximum. Im afraid to just do it without saying anyhting because he is a good friend and that would burn bridges. I miss him very, very much. Is NC truly the only way to move on with life? I thought I was healed but this past week all I can think about is him. I want what we had back. Maybe it's because Ive been dating a bit, and now realize what I had was very special. It's hard to find someone that is a best friend and lover. Harder than I thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kadvati79 Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 The fact is so hard is what makes it worth it. Is that picture in your profile of you? If so, you are absolutely gorgeous! It it never too late to go No Contact. It is never too late to heal and move on. Maybe this guy will be a regular part of your life as a friend in future, but right now you have other priorities and that is currently yourself and your need to heal/grow. You also like gun's and roses too... hmm.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveseer Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 It's never too late to go no contact. I finally asked for three months 2.5 years after we broke up. It's working too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 If he has not interest in getting back together with you then I think it is perfectly reasonable to tell him that you can no longer be in contact with him because it is too difficult and you need to move on....but then you really really really have to stick with no contact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysunshine Posted November 12, 2008 Author Share Posted November 12, 2008 CAD- I have tried multiple times to tell him I need some time alone to heal, and of course he respects my wishes, but then I ALWAYS cave. It's gotten to the point where now when I say I'm going NC he says, "Ok talk to you in three hours". I love talking to him and he enjoys it as well, but deep dwn I know it's not a good idea because whereas he has moved on and sees me only as a best friend, I still miss him and want more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legallady1 Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 i am in the same situation and i guess it depends on whether he has any plans to get back together with you, i wouldn't see the point in continuing contact with him if he doesn't because your just holding onto a ghost of what you guys had, but if he does has plans to get back together with you (like my situation) i could see where it is hard to keep NC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysunshine Posted November 12, 2008 Author Share Posted November 12, 2008 No legallady, He has been very clear that he loves me but those loving feelings are gone. At least he has been honest from the beginning and didnt stringme along. But it still hurts like hell and I don't want to believe it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlestar Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Its never to late for NC but i think starting it early on can be of benefit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubb Posted November 14, 2008 Share Posted November 14, 2008 Instead of going straight to no contact why not just slowly move to it? If you guys are in contact a few times a week cut it back to once a week. Keep furthering the contact until you slowly cut him off. You may even lose interest in him. It's like breaking a bad habit. Btw is that you in your pic? You should have np meeting guys. Yeah, you will have to weed through some weirdos but when you do meet someone special they will mean that much more to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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