Anon333 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I wrote a few posts on here about seeing and hanging out with this guy from my work....But instead of me progressively liking him more, I ended up getting a crush on his friend.....I only talked to his friend once..but I literally cant get him out of my head, and I have never been in a situation like this...But, I have not had the guts to tell his friend who I am hanging out with now, that I "just want to be friends". It sucks because I really like him and if I hadnt met his friend, everything would probably have been okay....But his friend gives me butterflies in my stomach... Here is the problem..I visited his friend's work on Monday to gauge if my initial attraction to him was just a lark or spoof or whatever you want to call it...But the spark was still there (for me anyways)....He kept coming up to me to talk and when he rang up my items he asked for my number before I left. So that shows he likes me? He said that I should give him a call if I am ever bored, putting it in my hands...He pretty much knows I am hanging out with his friend who likes me, so I dont think he wants to be a jerk or sneaky. But he also knows I just started hanging out with his friend and there is a mutual attraction between me and him....After I left, he texted me a few times asking me how I spell my name, telling me to have a good day off..Etc....I was the last one to text him with no response back......Now is the ball in his or my court? Does he like me that much that i havent heard from him since, or is he laying low because he knows Im hanging out with his friend....? I want so badly to see this guy again..it is the strangest feeling I never had with anyone before.....I was tempted to text him tonight..But I really dont want to intrude on his life or seem too desperate or like a two timing * * * * * ..... Any suggestions on where to go from here...Tomorrow I am really going to tell his friend who I am hanging out with, that I am not looking to date people from work and I just want to be friends.....It will be tough, but it will make it a little easier to call this other guy...But I can see myself just getting hurt and played by this other guy..It is a risk because I have no idea if he likes me as much as I like him..If he did...I think it could be amazing........ One last thing....they will both be at the same halloween party friday...what do I do? Not go? or just be friendly to both......??? This is driving me crazy... ( Link to comment
yumicecream Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I think its fine to like someone. Where I think you're way wrong is leading on the other guy. Its very unlikely someone will like someone who their friend is dating unless they're a jerk or unless quite some time has passed since you dated their friend. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 im not trying to lead him on...In fact, I blew him off twice today and plan on telling him tomorrow how I feel....My feelings have been mixed up and I wasnt sure what I was doing..But after seeing his friend again, it was clear I should tell the other guy I just want to be friends...its really hard for me though, cause he is a sweetheart and I like him, and this thing with his friend may not pan out to anything. i dont know anything about him......so it is a risk that may leave me lonely and single again..but Im used to it... The real question was though, after I tell the guy Im hanging out with that I just want to be friends, should I call his friend up to hang out? I will be seeing his friend on halloween possibly too.....Im not sure what to do...If I will seem desperate or if the ball is in my court or his....he asked for my number and then called me with his number and told me to call him if im bored..is that a passive way to ask someone out? did he just do it because I was hanging out with his friend and he didnt want to be aggressive about hanging out? I just wish I knew these things..How do you know if someone is feeling the same awesome connection as you....If I wasnt hanging out with his friend, Id probably have a better idea....huh Link to comment
orangesoda Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 don't be surprised if the friend ends up blowing you off, some guys are very pro 'bros before h0's', so he may want to avoid conflict with the guy you're not interested in. just a warning. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 are you sure you know what you want in a guy? you just seem really confused on things. you said you don't know how you are going to tell the other guy that you don't want more than friends, then you say you are going to tell him tomorrow. then you say the other guy gives you butterflies but you can see yourself getting played. how is that? you don't even know him yet. i dunno, i just see you going back and forth on your thoughts a lot. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 Ghost69...You're right..I am a very confused person right now and have been in past situations as well..Relationships Ive been in have been break up and get back together that would sometimes last for months to a year. Thats why I am trying to be cautious with this guy. If I have a crush on his friend, I shouldnt try to force myself to stay with this guy. Even if he could end up being the best catch. He probably is. I just feel I need to just see how things go with his friend, whether he rejects me or not. As for telling him I just want to be friends. It is so hard to find the right moment. I feel like I would have to totally stop a good conversation in its tracks and then awkwardly explain to him I just want to be friends, when we dont even discuss that stuff...I keep planning to tell him, but it never gets to the right moment. Today we have made plans to hang out all day, so I'm sure I will find a moment to tell him. It is not somethin I am clear cut on either, but just I think it is the right and fair thing to do. LIke I said..If it werent for me crushing on his friend, I'd probably still be liking this guy... Orangesoda, you could be right...I dont know much about this guy, and the spark I feel with him, could just be some flirtatious thing he does with other women...I dont know....He already mentioned for me to call him if I ever wanted to hang out though....So although he knows I'm hanging out with his friend, he still gave me his number? I was pretty happy...But the only way it would be okay in my book is if he genuinely felt this rare connection with me like I did, and is making an exception of "bros before hoes" to get to know me or hang out......hopefully he's not the sleazy type that will go after anyone just for a cheap thrill..... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 maybe when he cracks a great joke or says something about you. be like, 'omg you are so funny. you know, you are such a good friend.' Link to comment
Anon333 Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 haha...thats a good way to change a fun mood into a piercing knife in someone's back.... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 haha...thats a good way to change a fun mood into a piercing knife in someone's back.... why do you think that? leading him on is much worse. that is what you are doing by NOT bringing this up. Link to comment
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