Anon333 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I wrote a post, but havent gotten too much feedback. I am currently "hanging out" with this guy art work, who I was originally smitten with. But after meeting his friend and developing a huge crush, I started rethinking things with me and this new guy. I was the first to kiss him, and at first made it clear I was into him. Now I am kind of backing away. He keeps asking to hang out. It has been so long since I have had a friend and met some people (I just moved earlier this year). I hung out with him last night with his friends, but turned down going back to his house. He asked me to go for a bike ride today (just called). I didnt answer and Im getting nervous about telling him I "just want to be friends".... I work with him and I like him...But I want to have a chance to get to know his friend...It could all be a total mistake. Like I said...I have so much trouble communicating...We dont really talk about where we are going in the relationship...it just kind of started developing..Him putting his arm around me...etc.....What do I say and how do I go about it? Anyone have advice for me not to be such a nervous wreck about telling him...DO you think he will still want to hang out and be my friend? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 'i'm not into you in that way.' Link to comment
Anon333 Posted October 29, 2008 Author Share Posted October 29, 2008 I could say that..But I already made it seem like I was into him in that way...I feel like a total idiot like I strung him along or something...should I call him and just say Im not sure what I want to do right now and I dont want to confuse him...>We are also supposed to spend the day together Thursday.....I keep agreeing to these plans, but still dont seem to have the guts to say I just want to be friends...maybe because Im not sure I just want to be friends....But I know it is only fair to do that if I have a crush on his friend...right... Link to comment
lumu Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Just tell him you enjoy spending time with him and you don't have that many friends so you really appreciate him. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted October 29, 2008 Author Share Posted October 29, 2008 wont he think I was leading him on or using him to make friends and have him as a friend...I dont know..I really wish I never kissed him and let it just be a friendship for now.....I think it is clear to his friends and him that it is supposed to be more than just a friendship... Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 If you are really interested in being his friend, then tell him that. If you aren't, don't give him the friends line just tell him you aren't interested in him in that way. This is the type of situation that is hard for most people to communicate about period, so don't be too hard on yourself Link to comment
Anon333 Posted October 29, 2008 Author Share Posted October 29, 2008 So I am going to call him back and blow off going for a bike ride and say I have too much stuff to do..Does that sound okay? WOnt he start to get the hint and ask if I start blowing him off? ANd then tomorrow I hang out with him all day, so maybe the topis will come up..Its just awkward because when we greet, he goes to hug me as if we are dating..and that sets the tune for the rest of the time we spend together...We sit next to eachother, he puts his arm around me...etc...Its like....To suddenly say "I just want to be friends", seems so cruel to me.....Maybe he will think Im coniving and mean and not even want to talk to me at work or hang out ever again... Link to comment
Anon333 Posted October 29, 2008 Author Share Posted October 29, 2008 thanks Iceman...Most of my relationships in the past, consisted of me hanging out with someone for a long long time not being sure if I wanted to date them or not, but ending up in a relationship I was unsure of...Only at that point would it be a break up/get back together thing..SO I know what the consequences of keeping my mouth shut and going with the flow are...If it werent for the crush on his friend...Id probably end up repeating that pattern too.... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 leading him on would be NOT telling him that you think he's a great friend. he might be thinking he's getting somewhere with you. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted October 29, 2008 Author Share Posted October 29, 2008 he does think he is getting somewhere...I know that..and I thought it might be until I met his friend... Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 leading him on would be NOT telling him that you think he's a great friend. he might be thinking he's getting somewhere with you. I agree. I think you'll feel better if you just call him up and lay it out for him. You like his company but just don't feel any romantic feelings for him and hell even tell him you don't want to lead him on. If you just postpone the date he will come around looking for another one. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 ^^i like ice's idea, calling him up. i wouldn't just blurt out the friend thing. i'd call him and talk like normal and have a laugh. then be like 'you know what i really like being your friend, i'm glad we can hang out.' Link to comment
Anon333 Posted October 29, 2008 Author Share Posted October 29, 2008 maybe ill do that...it will just take every ounce of guts I have....I keep putting it off..it never feels like the right time to say it... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 why does it take so much for you to say that? if you don't, you are for sure leading them on. Link to comment
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