Blayzed4Life Posted January 31, 2004 Share Posted January 31, 2004 nightly sky so bright the stars glittering like diamonds the perfect sight not a cloud in the sky no wind from above the pefect night to tell her how much you are in love you look deep into her eyes the most beautiful eyes ever softly you whisper, your mine forever she looks at you with a smile you know that things are right the perfect sky, the perfect night K well tell me what you think, I am not poet heh just felt id give it a try. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neva_black_n_white Posted January 31, 2004 Share Posted January 31, 2004 hey, i liked it and the way you versed it up also, everything seemed to fit. and despite what littlelady said i feel that if you were saying nightly sky so bright you could have used this as an oximoran or some what visual, so i believe it works, but thats just me. kel to say its your first poem, im impressed *smiles* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roguey Posted January 31, 2004 Share Posted January 31, 2004 cliched imagery, some very boring lines where you clearly lacked any inspiration to further the description. Average for a first attempt...i guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilenThunder Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 It sounds nice, better than anything I could ever come up with! Good Job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitefang Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 Hi Blayzed, I thought it was good for a first attempt at writing a poem. Alot better than what i used to come up with when i do mine. Not that i've stuck them on the forum. Keep it up, you'll get better. - whitefang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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