babysunshine Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 I read somewhere that the happiest people are the ones that accept change easily. The ones that "roll with the punches" and realize that nothing in life is permanent. Well where does that leave me? I am a creature of habit and have a difficult time letting go of things or accepting changes. What should I do?? I want to be happy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SomeRandomHero Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 im with you on that one trying to figure it out myself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miracle29 Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 Find out what makes you happy with just you. Try going to a bookstore and reading and learning things. Discover who you are. Focus on you so you can find out who you are and what you like without anyone attachments. Just you on you time. That could help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 Never accepting change will definitely not make you happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysunshine Posted October 20, 2008 Author Share Posted October 20, 2008 It's not like I Never accept change! I just don't really like it. If things are going well the way they are why do they have to be taken away? Relationships, people coming in and out of your life, it's all soooo much to handle sometimes. I truly admire those who are strong and are able to just blink once and continue moving forward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 I am not sure that we blink and go on, I think we just accept that there are things we can not control, know what I mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thegirl_00 Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 There are all kind of things that change over someones life span and I'm sure you can agree that some changes are easier to deal with then others... What kind of things do you have a difficult time letting go of or accepting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysunshine Posted October 20, 2008 Author Share Posted October 20, 2008 Obviously the main thing is people. Not just romantic relationships but when close friends move away, or I move. Even little things such as if I have a night planned in my mind and things don't go as I expected I get frustrated and stressed out. I know in these situations it's better to just accpet that things wont always go as planned and sometimes something better might actually happen.... I'm working on this though. I have a certain friend who is just always so bubbly and happy and not in an annoying way =) She is laidback and doesn't stress if things arent going exactly as planned. I want to be like that!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Being like that seems more about controlling your own emotions than anything else. The example I was given from eastern philosophy was how to avoid worrying. If you find yourself worrying about something that you can change, take the action steps to make the change. If it is something you have no control over at all, then there is no justification for worry, no? You can apply the same basic logic to most negative emotions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schaser Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I don't really have problems in accepting change. If anything I fully welcome change. But to me it depends on the scope of the change and the effect of it on my life, and whether I have any choice being able to reverse the change in question. Not all changes have equal bearing on one's life. If something happened to somebody close to me, then this change would affect me more than if the local Subway rose their prices for steak and cheese sandwhiches. While both changes are beyond my power, I would have a bond with the person close to me, while Subway obviously wouldn't think of how the price rise would affect one individual customer. I do think though that an aversion to change is natural. Especially since human beings naturally seek security in life. But even still, some changes are beyond our control to prevent or undo. Part of the human condition is that we cannot control every variable which can possibly affect our lives. And lastly, happiness is relative. If facing change doesn't make you happy, then so be it, it simply doesn't. Everybody is different. One thing I don't like about some schools of thought is that they are too absolutist. While some things in life obviously are objective, everything in life is subjectively perceived and subjectively interpreted. I don't see how it's possible for one specific code to bring happines to all persons. Would a gay person be happy living in Iran? Hardly, given the social mores and laws of that society. IMO, everyone should be able to seek his or her own happiness, as long as they don't hurt anybody else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 When you get to a certain age, you had so many changes in your life that it no longer fazes you. You realize the change is the norm of life and that nothing is permanent. You learn to really live in the moment and appreciate today and not count on tomorrow. It sounds bad, but it really is liberating! I've lost so many people and have had my life turned upside down so many times that I just accept it and move on. When I was younger, I hated change. Acceptance comes with time and experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysunshine Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 Thanks Jigs, I guess it's something I should strive to do. I am a little naive in terms of life and feel I have been pretty lucky so far. So lately when things have been happening and spiraling out of control I want to keep them the same and resist. Im genuinely going to try and let things go. Ill feel happier and less stressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 life is whatever it is and i will take whatever it throws at me. there are good times and there are bad times. once you are content with that, life is fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yellow_sweater Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Hi babysunshine, I'm wondering how old you are. When I was younger, I was very uncomfortable with change. It gave me a lot of anxiety! As I matured, however, I saw for myself that the only thing that never changes is that things will always change. Sometimes you need to see that for yourself before you can really accept it. I just wrote this in another thread, but another thing to keep in mind is that everything is impermanent. Let's say you purchase an iPod. Of course, you like it a lot and you use it a lot. Eventually you know that it will break, or you will lose it, or it will become obsolete. But that doesn't stop you from enjoying it while it lasts! Now, use that same idea and think about relationships. Let's say that you meet a boy, and you date, and you break up. Yes, that's very sad. But does that mean you should never have dated him in the first place? Let's go deeper. Let's say you marry that boy, and you grow up and have children, and then you become old together. And then the boy dies, and you are left alone. Certainly that is sad. But nothing can last forever. Not even our relationships! Eventually our parents will die and we will bury them. Eventually our spouses will die. And eventually we will die, as well. It's a little sad and frightening to think about... but the more you think about it, the easier it is to accept it. Once I accepted that nothing endures, I felt very free. I was able to live entirely in the moment, without worrying about what would happen when my iPod breaks or my relationship ends or my parents die. I know it will happen. Because I know, and I accept, I spend all of my energy enjoying them NOW. I hope that helps a little. YS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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