abriellek Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 I have sex a lot more than I think I should. Up till I was 18 I had only had sex twice but then I got a long-term bf whom I lived with (my ex of 6 months, we dated almost 2 years.) To make a long story short, we had sex a LOT, usually at least twice a day or more, till things started going sour in the last few months of our relationship. I already had a high sex drive to begin with, but he was also pretty well-endowed and we were very sexually compatible. Cutting off sex completely was the least of my worries at the initial breakup but after a month or so it became really bad. I started having a lot of random sex with people I met off the internet (safe sex) and my friends became very upset. Usually none of the sex was satisfying and I still cannot find anyone who actually wants to date me. I don't think there's anything wrong with a girl having a lot of sex, but I think it's a problem for me, and a therapist hasn't been able to help me with it. Recently I tried going a month without having sex, and I made it (although masturbation just doesn't cut it for me.) Problem is, the less I had sex the more and more I thought about my ex and about him and his new gf having sex when I had been better before. I think this is because sex was such a large part of our relationship, even emotionally. So I had sex with someone, and immediately I noticed that within the next few days I was thinking about my ex much less. I know being so promiscuous is bad for me and I hate being single. But even sleeping with someone once makes me feel better about myself... I know it shouldn't. I'm not sure what to do. Any advice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyyy Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 I don't know how women work but as a man I would be looking for a new partner as soon as I was emotionally over my ex. Sex with randoms is just ehhh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 Your self esteem should not be attached to the act of sex and some one wanting you. I think the issue here is your esteem, once you find out what is off base there you won't have a need to have meaningless sex with meaningless people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_win Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 You say that sex with random partners wasn't typically satisfying, and masturbation doesn't really cut it either. It's impossible to replace the great physical and emotional sex that comes when you are with someone you love...no doubt about it. So you probably use masturbation and promiscuous sex as a "filler," but when that psuedo satisfaction fades, the thoughts of what you really want (emotionally and physically charged sex with someone) keeps coming back stronger. So I think you're using sex to try to fill that void and it can be a slippery slope because you might wake up at some point and realize that you actually feel worse now. I am very confident that you won't meet someone that you emotionally connect with if you are putting sex as the most important priority or with someone that you have a one night stand with. So, if you want that emotional connection again then I think you'll have to put sex at least temporarily aside while you go after that person you really connect with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_win Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 I don't know how women work but as a man I would be looking for a new partner as soon as I was emotionally over my ex. Sex with randoms is just ehhh... Learned that the hard way. Not even close to someone that you connect with emotionally. I did it once, never again. I actually felt empty when I realized the whole thing was just for gratification and that it wasn't really ever going to "go anywhere." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyyy Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 Learned that the hard way. Not even close to someone that you connect with emotionally. I did it once, never again. I actually felt empty when I realized the whole thing was just for gratification and that it wasn't really ever going to "go anywhere." Some people love to have sex with multiple partners with no commitment, infact I reckon it's half of the population but for myself I don't think it would be all that fulfilling; OP sounds the same way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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