SarCareBear Posted January 25, 2004 Share Posted January 25, 2004 This is something I wrote .. a dream about a boy I have loved since I met him and knew him for 3 days this summer, he lives real far away and haven't seen him since... I just want an opinion of my poetry. Tell me if it sucks, so i dont have any illusions alright> Alone in a room cold and white Wrapped in jackets and baggage all Weighting your soul At a twisted desk in the child's chair Your gaze held the walls in blank stare Down the corridor I floated As though my only destiny Was to see you again And your eyes turned to me Muddied moonstones ablaze with golden fire Reflecting all around you emptily Reminiscent of worlds that I never did know Sparkling with old promise that had always Been too rich to be real The only wish I held so long Through the lonely singularity of a photograph Sure that Loved Too Young would be my epitaph As I struggled to forget But how smoothly sweet it felt to remember To touch your face for the first time In millions of years Wanting the subtle brush to be enough but, Oh How could you ever know How much I have loved you? Naught a word spoken between us Certain at how soon I would see you again Turned and ran round the corridor bend And your dark friend Slapped me with the truth of your love for another One thousand miles should have been enough to prove We could never have each other And when I turned around, you were gone And everything was like it had always been No blissful embrace No wonderful whispers with which to Lighten my load How reality retaliates against the foolish, it seems Fleshing you out in frigid misery I can't even have you in my dreams Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colls Posted January 25, 2004 Share Posted January 25, 2004 I love it. And also Im in one of those emothional moods, and your pem is so deep it makes me want to cry. I havent seen the one I love in so long either, and it opens my eyes to your point. I really love your poem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SarCareBear Posted January 26, 2004 Author Share Posted January 26, 2004 thanks colls... hey everyone, keep the comments coming dont be afraid to criticize this or tell me if its any good.. i have a lot o poetry and am mostly afraid to show it off to people who know me.. let me know how this makes u fel u no Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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