semaj612 Posted October 1, 2008 Share Posted October 1, 2008 My ex girlfriend (only been talking to her for the past month, since breakup 4 month ago) just told me today she misses me. I told her i still have feelings for her but i am afraid of her hurting me again. She says i completely understand but i am way to messed up for anything (she is going through a difficult family ordeal). I told her ok, then she says im sorry, but i really do miss you! We are going to the movies tonight as a group thing. What should i do? How should i think of this? Why tell me you miss me if nothing to come from it. One thing i can think of is she moved away from my city but she plans to move back in january, so maybe she doesnt want to do the long distance thing. Any responds? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted October 1, 2008 Share Posted October 1, 2008 you can miss people and not get back together. this is why when i break up, no contact happens after. an occasional HI or something but that is it. no talking about how we were or who misses who. it's over. some people do give it another shot and it works out. i've done it. but only twice out of all of the girls i dated. usually your first impression of it not working out is for a reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted October 1, 2008 Share Posted October 1, 2008 Classic lines from dumpers " I miss you" "I love you", "Remember when we did......, I miss those days" etc etc. Those lines are usually thrown out there to give the dumpee hope so that the dumpee will try to grab that dangling carrot...once he or she does, the dumper pulls the carrot away and says "Sorry, you misunderstood, I am not interested in resuming the relationship". So those classic lines are simply about the dumper angling for an ego boost. What you should do tonight is keep yourself at arm's length and don't buy into any flirtatiousness and come ons from her. I have seen enough threads on this forum where the dumper flirts and even gets overtly physical and then says bye bye again. If she really wants to reconcile with you then she will clearly state it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chopperboy Posted October 1, 2008 Share Posted October 1, 2008 Listen to what CAD said. This scenario played out in my life just days ago. It set me back to square one in my healing. It's best to just close that chapter, and not let exes get in our heads with this sort of BS. I know, it's easier said than done. We're junkies for this sort of high. But it's best to just go cold-turkey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
girl68 Posted October 1, 2008 Share Posted October 1, 2008 CAD nails it. Don't make it akward for your friends... but keep your distance and don't respond to her advances. Get on with YOUR healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teknoise Posted October 1, 2008 Share Posted October 1, 2008 My ex girlfriend (only been talking to her for the past month, since breakup 4 month ago) just told me today she misses me. I told her i still have feelings for her but i am afraid of her hurting me again. She says i completely understand but i am way to messed up for anything (she is going through a difficult family ordeal). I told her ok, then she says im sorry, but i really do miss you! We are going to the movies tonight as a group thing. What should i do? How should i think of this? Why tell me you miss me if nothing to come from it. One thing i can think of is she moved away from my city but she plans to move back in january, so maybe she doesnt want to do the long distance thing. Any responds? Of course she may miss you. Just because someone breaks up with someone else doesn't mean they all of a sudden hate them and think nothing of them and completely forget the times spent together. It just means they don't want to be a couple anymore for whatever reason. Granted, its pretty insensitive of her to be telling you these things. Just ignore crap like this. Its worthless information that is true in almost every breakup. There are always leftover feelings, doesn't mean they are to be acted upon or shared with the ex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick32x Posted October 1, 2008 Share Posted October 1, 2008 CAD is 100% right.. ironically I fell into this trap this summer... and though I didnt plunge straight in with "I miss you so much too!! and I love and want to be with you forever!" (like she was saying to me) I took a more rational view, said, lets see what happens..... and yep.. never heard back from her since.... I was no where near healed up until this happened.... I see her for the manipulative garbage she is.... hmm... wow I sound bitter.... probably some truth to that Either way, for me, it took that "standing up to her" to prove to myself that I didn't need her in my life... and that I'm fine with where I am now... and yea, I realized that I was in no way, shape, or form a significant part of her life.. so why waste my time thinking about her so much? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drewciouS281 Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 you can miss people and not get back together. this is why when i break up, no contact happens after. an occasional HI or something but that is it. no talking about how we were or who misses who. it's over. some people do give it another shot and it works out. i've done it. but only twice out of all of the girls i dated. usually your first impression of it not working out is for a reason. i agree with this competely and is also what i do. I too gave things a second shot and it ended worse than the first time. Sometimes although you miss one another, it just doesnt work between those two people. Just be casual and let it go. Go back to no contact and the feelings will subside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veneratio Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Why would she say that? Simply cause she does miss you. As ghost said, you can miss people and not get back together. But you can also miss people and not have feelings for them. My ex that I refer to the most has said "I miss you" in so many forms, but it doesn't mean anything. She's got a boyfriend, and I'm dating people. It doesn't mean a thing until it's set in stone. Until those words are said, "I want a relationship" It may not even be that she needs an ego boost. People have moments of weakness and grow lonely. They say things they don't truly mean during those moments. And maybe it's not even that deep, maybe she just misses you as a person, not a boyfriend. I'm too late for the movie advice, but hopefully you stayed strong. Just remember, your healing is paramount. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr_m4x Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 I will not quote CAD because I've learned a LOT from her since my breakup and I can give you only one and one only pice of advise, there's a reason why they are exes. My ex of 26 months suddenly made ME end our 16 month relationship and 4 months after we broke up she was calling me and asking me out. I went out with her and did everything you could imagine to get back with her until I relized that I was underestimating my own value. Then, after I realized what I was doing, I stopped answering her calls, replying to her texts and every possible contact methos she used to get to me. You should not look too much into her invitations/contacts, as I said before, there's a reason why they are exes, either it was you breaking up or they breaking up with you, there is a reason that got you where you are right now. I will quote the Gallagher brothers (Oasis) when they say "the sea is full of fishes, she's got dirty dishes in her brain" and you should just forget about your ex and look elsewhere, or if you don't feel ready to date yet, get yourself back together. Those are my 2 cents as I have spent alost 7 months dwelling on my ex and I've just realized that it was wasted time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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