The story of my life...

[jtripp06]

Ok so where I do begin? So of course you know that I’m from New Jersey and I never really told you why I moved here. But the reason why I moved her is cause my girlfriend Lindsey who just recently broke up with me. So the story begins I met her through a mutual friend in august 2004 who was telling me that he want me to meet her cause I wanted my opinion and that shes going to school in NC. So I met her and I was blown away she had the most beautiful eyes and smile. So that day me, her my friend and another friend of ours all went out and drove around and just had fun just being teenagers. I knew there was something about her as we all hung out she was funny, goofy and being a dork! At the time of meeting her I had a current girlfriend and I was going through a lot of problems. So there was only so much I could do. After hanging out with her we exchanged AIM screen names and also phones numbers.

 

A few weeks later my and my girlfriend at the time broke up after 3.5 yrs and I hit an all time low. But I knew it was coming cause our relationship at the time was going down here between her cheating and me cheating. But I still took it hard because I was still in love with her let alone she was my first for everything expect kiss. During that time I did not talk to Lindsey for a while cause of me being of my depression. In September of 04 I relocated to King of Prussia in Pennsylvania where I worked for T-Mobile. I was still in contact with my ex trying to get her back but it wasn’t working. I called Lindsey one day talking to her to see if she could help the situation out between me and my ex. So should tried to talk to her and I would talk to her about her problems with the person she was talking to.

 

So throughout the month we me and Lindsey kept contact and we figured maybe we should just hangout and maybe work things between us. So she agreed and we tired. Well It was going good, to the point where one day during September she was driving up from High Point, NC she stop by to King of Prussia PA to come and pick me up and bring me back to jersey for the weekend with her. So once she did that me, her and another mutual friend of ours drove back. During the car ride I was texting our mutual friend asking how have they been and we just had a good time in the car until we got back to jersey they drop me off. And I never heard back from her that whole weekend. So I was kinda pissed but got over it and hung out with friends. So later during the month when I got back to PA and she was in NC I called her and ask her what happened to hanging out, so she explained that I thought I was trying to talk to her friend and her at the same time. So eventually she got over and and I died down from calling her as I concentrated on my existing problems with my exgf and try to get her back.

 

As time and months went on till the next year I didn’t speak to Lindsey cause I was still going through my emotional problems and financial problems. With time going by and I’m slowly getting over my exgf .I started to work on my mothers law case for her and travelled once and a while to Manhattan. While trying I would call Lindsey just to see hows shes doing and would talk for a few. And it we talk atleast once a week. I remember one day that I was at my mothers nursing just spending time with her, I talk to her about Lindsey and I called Lindsey while I was there and spoke about getting married but just kidding about it. So she said that if she isn’t married by 27 that she would marry me. So all three of us laugh with Lindsey on the phone. So I made another joke that me and her are going to have tall kids cause Lindsey is 5’8. so my mother agreed and went along with it, even to this very day

 

Once it hit summer I landed a new job with a tattoo shop as a body piercer. I worked and learned and enjoyed my employees who became my friends. One day I called my friend Ashley to hang out and she said that she was with some friends so I met up with her and come to find out Lindsey with her and I was so surprised so I ran to her and gave her the biggest hug! We hung out for a few and she was cold somewhat so I offered her my Abercrombie track jacket to her. We talked for some time and then they all had to get back home so I said my good byes.During the summer I was with a buddy of mine and we were drunk and it was 1am and I called her asking if she would sleep with me so she said yea. I was stoked but we were both just kidding. With fall coming in I started to talk to Lindsey more and talk almost to the point it was everyday and every minute of the day, things got serious for the both of us I felt a strong sense about this and it was positive, I guess I was starting to fall in love. I totally forget about my ex and I concentrated on Lindsey and I!

 

We talk for days weeks months until the end of 2005 when we finally decided to make plans to spend a true weekend together on my birthday on feb 10 2006. I would have to fly down there due to the fact I didn’t drive back home in jersey. So I booked reservations for a flight and hotel, this would be my first time flying and I was so nervous! When the time arrived I got to the airport jumped on my flight and headed to Greensboro NC on feb 9 2006, where I was meeting her. When I got to Greensboro airport I gave her a call from a payphone cause I wasn’t getting and reception and she said that she was there and looking for me. I told her what I was wearing and to keep and eye out. Finally after 5 mins of looking I found her and she turned around with the biggest smile and then kissing me. Mind you I haven’t seen Lindsey for about a few months. So that weekend we spent it at the hotel laughing, playing, and getting to know one another better. She ended up taking me to dinner for my birthday at a Chinese restaurant. That whole weekend spent with her was amazing, two young kids falling in love. I ended up staying a day later than my 3 day stay due to the fact of a snow storm back home. So that forth day happened to be Valentines Day, this was our first valentines day and we spent it together watching movies taking pictures and relaxing, a day that’s special to us. At the end of my trip I finally headed home on the 15th and Lindsey took me to the airport. As we sat at the airport we took last minute pictures and cried together and kissed each other not knowing when the next time we will see each other is. As we said our goodbyes I walked away crying as she did the same back to her car. When I got back to jersey I called her to let her know that I’m back.

 

The next day she called me and we talk about things. We confirmed that we’re going to be together and start this relationship on feb 9th 2006. I was so excited, that I may have found my meant to be. So as time went by we continued our relationship and saw each other every month, one time she took a bus to see me and other times she drove to see me, once a month for 2 weeks. So on May 2006 she came up for her birthday weekend. Since I knew she was coming and it was her 20th birthday I wanted it to be something special so I did some online shopping and decided that since she’s a keeper I’m going to get something special. So I went online to Kay jewelry’s and found a diamond promise ring. The next day I went and bought it at the mall along with some clothes from Abercrombie and Fitch just to make sure she had a special birthday with me. So of course on her birthday she spent the day with her friends while I worked and then at night she came over and I gave her the gifts and waited for to give her the ring. As I handed the box with the ring I explained how I felt and what I wanted for the future. She cried and accepted the ring with hugs and kisses. The next day we hung out with my mother and then off to dinner in the city at a beautiful Spanish restaurant on the pier. It’s a place that you would never forget as you have the view of Brooklyn and the Brooklyn bridge and the rest of lower Manhattan. As the weekend continued I was coming back to NC to meet the parents. I was so excited about it cause this was real and this is the future.

 

We drove down to NC and stayed at her parent’s house for 2 days. It was the best time we went to the beach one of the days and had lunch with them, then off to the water just hanging out swimming. Just an overall amazing time! For dinner that night we all sit down and ordered Chinese food I was so amped! But we talked about me and my job and they loved me well at least her dad hahaha. On the last day that I was staying me and Lindsey went to the beach and just sat on the bench and talk. We talked about my grandmother who lives in Columbia, South Carolina, so the topic of me moving down to her house just to be closer came up. I called my grandmother and asked her and explained the situation and she agreed about me living with her. This was exciting news for me and Lindsey because now we may pursue our future further. With our day coming to an end it was time for me to go back home to jersey. Her mother and Lindsey drove me to the Amtrak train station for my 11pm train and of course we said our goodbyes as I was sad and wished it would have never ended.

 

Getting back to jersey had me thinking about a lot things. Like finding a car, saving money, and finding a job. At this point it was already June and I was saving money until I see the a car (MR2) for $700. so of course I flagged to seller down and bought the car. During the time I was back home Lindsey sent me care gifts with clothes, candy, cookies, etc “what a great girlfriend!” After a few weeks of owning the car the my engine blew cause it had an oil leak. At this point it was already August and I kept contact with my grandmother for me moving down there as well as finding a job. But at this time I was starting to save money for a new engine and Lindsey agreed to helping me with the project so 2 months going by I had engine in place and also other small pieces that needed to be added. So she paid quite an bit of money as well as I did. Eventually my car was back up and running by November. But at this time I still didn’t have enough money saved up but I continued to try. One day during November I wanted to make a surprise visit to her so me and my buddy got together one night and just left at 11pm heading for North Carolina. During this trip my friend wanted to check out charlotte because he heard it was a booming city. It took us about a good 8 hrs of driving to get to charlotte. Once we were in North Carolina i called her up asking if we could stop by and sleep over. Of course she agreed and we went straight over there (Southport) after charlotte so that was another 4 hrs of driving, once we got there it was 7pm at night. Me her and my buddy went out to dinner that night and had a good time just relaxing and talking and of course her dad paid for out dinner with his credit card. We stayed over night all in separate rooms and of course Lindsey surprised me that night and jumped into my bed. The next day was just relaxing and as we explored Wilmington, driving around and eating at the mall taking pictures. What a great day until it had to end because reality kicks in and we had work the next day. So we drove back that afternoon and of course me and Lindsey said our goodbyes as we cried with me driving back home and her walking into her house. Man what a drive back we didn’t get home until 4am and we had work in a few hours. With that visit in my head I realize that I need to get down there sooner because I really missed her even more.

 

The next month was December and I explained to her (of course her being impatient) that its going to be the month that I moved down there. So I save at least $600 hoping that it would be enough and I called my buddy up one night and explained that I want to leave tonight for Columbia, SC to move to my grandmother’s house. Of course he agreed and I gave him 300 dollars. And at 12am we both left in 2 separate cars both full of clothes and electronics and drove for 12hrs. This was the worst drive ever due to the fact of right around 2 pm heading into south Carolina I was falling asleep behind the wheel. But anyway I eventually got to my grandmothers house and it was the biggest surprise for us both cause we haven’t seen each other in 11 yrs. We both cried and hug each other. As me and my buddy unpack the car I had a second thought in my head about moving down here but I knew it would be for the best for me and my relationship. Not only an hour later I left from my grandmothers house for Lindsey house which was only 2.5 hours away. So said my goodbyes and back on the road again eventually getting to her house. So I spent my Christmas with her together. And I was excited cause this was the first Christmas I ever had with any of my girlfriends so she was my first so my last well I’m trying to keep it that way. We had an amazing Christmas and I was excited to spend the time with her. With the holidays ending I finally had to drive home and I was sad of course but the first thing on my mind was to relax with my grandmother and find a job.

 

At this time it was January 2007 and I seen her a few times but one of the times of visiting I had a problem with my car and my transmission was messing up. I found out that I had to get a new transmission and I didn’t have the money for it but Lindsey did. So I sourced out a new transmission, me and Lindsey got up one morning and started to head towards Asheville, NC a 6hour drive to pick up the tranny. We ended up paying 600 for the transmission, I could tell this isn’t something she wanted to do cause I was taking money away from her cause of this car. Eventually we got back to Southport NC and I already made plans to have it installed by the locals in the area. Come to find out that night when we got back the locals did not have the tools to actually install the transmission. So of course Lindsey was getting upset and as well as her parents cause I was over staying the time I was allotted. So of course me and Lindsey got into a fight and one thing led to another we broke up over it and she decided to pay for a mechanic. Of course that mechanic couldn’t install it cause he didn’t know what he was doing so he suggested that he’ll put a sealant and more oil into the transmission. So I went with that and stop by Lindsey’s job and drop off the money that the mechanic refunded back into Lindsey’s hand and she asked me is everything going to be ok so I told her I was going to be fine. So I drove my car back home the way it was. As time went by I found a job at Cingular wireless as an indirect sales rep. I sent her an email and told her how I felt and that I had a job.

 

2 weeks later Lindsey and I got back together and we were happy again. At this point it was February 2007 and my birthday was coming up and so was valentines day. So I was unable to spend it with her but she made sure I had a card and an email from her and for valentines day I made sure she had flowers. As months go by I saw her at least once a month. Of course with we argued and broke up a few times over small stuff and kiss and made up. We had special weekends once a month together rather it was going to zoo or me taking her shopping. In July I applied for a credit card with both of our names on it, thinking that its going to be great for us since we were starting a future together. As her school year was coming to an end she wanted to move closer to me and she applied to USC and also UNCC. Unfortunately she was not accepted to USC cause that school is less then 15 minutes from my house, but she did get into UNCC. Finally in august 2007 she moved into her dorm and the first thing I did after work once she moved in was going to see her. After a week of spending time together I made a decision as well as she for me to move into her dorm. Now I’m staying at her dorm and everyday we spent it together relaxing after class, watching movies and hanging out with the roommates. Man I tell you this was the best time of my life. I woke up in the morning with a smile on my face cause she sleeping next to me. This is something we always wanted and we finally got it. On the weekends we spent it driving around charlotte talking, laughing and just having fun. On Sunday we made it a routine to drive downtown and take pictures and for dinner we always ate at panda express.

 

With fall heading into winter of course I was working at at&t and I met you and bunch of other great employees. With time going on till 2008 of course we had our arguments and fights, it sucks big time fighting with her. Cause it was always something stupid or she didn’t see eye to eye with me. In February of course it was my birthday and also tax returns so I went shopping and paid a credit card from best buy that we had. Months on out till April she called me at work crying saying she was done with me and that she found and email to a another female saying “hey sexy I see your on friends but I don’t know who you are and why your on my friends page”. So I explained to her that I didn’t mean anything by it and just to relax so the night we talked about it and she got over it at least I thought. She explained to me that she couldn’t trust me and I explained that I wouldn’t cheat on her I couldn’t ruin what we have. Anyway some nights I went out with friends downtown and she didn’t want to join cause of school. At the time of the semester ending we got into a big fight on the eve of her birthday at a friends house drinking. It started out just hanging out drinking and play games, we were having fun until I was getting tired and I decided to lay down on the couch and pass out. During the course of the night Lindsey stuck a pencil down my pants and my friends were throwing things at me. I hate when people bother me when I’m sleeping! So I through the pencil back at Lindsey and it hit her in the face and I woke up right away. I felt so bad and told her I was sorry and of course she gave me an attitude and told me not to talk to her. So I did that of course, later that night she tried to wake me up again after my friends went to sleep to have sex and I denied her cause I was pissed. Eventually I woke up and tried to have her lay next to me and she said no leave her alone. So I did that until morning when she woke up as well as I she just looked at me and took off her promise ring and laid it on the table. I called her and she said she’s done with us and that’s it. So I went to work being upset and after work I went to the store and bought her some flowers and chessecake for her birthday. So what I did was drop it off on her door step at her dorm and walked away. I called her and wanted to talk to her and we talk and we decided to let me into her dorm. We talked about everything and of course she says that we fight so much and doesn’t want to be with me. So we continued to talk to and I beg for her back cause I want to be with her and we talked about what we could do to change and make it work. So we agreed and we went to get a bottle of wine and talked and just relaxed for her birthday. I left that night and went home to sleep for the next day.

 

So with summer coming in we decided that I need a new car since we were planning to move back home next year together. So I bought the Lexus and moved in with my friend into his one bedroom apartment. Lindsey was going to fishers island and doing a babysitting job for 2 months that her parents set up for her. Eventually me and my friend planned to move into a 2 bedroom apartment as I stayed with him. So with june ending and july beginning we fought about little things and it started to bother me cause its getting pointless, so I started to question my relationship with her and if I want to be with her or not. But of course I want to be with her! So as we fought we broke up and got back together. In the last week of july my roommate decided that he was going to move back to Columbia sc and is not going to sign the lease for a new 2 bedroom apt. I was stunned and I didn’t know what to do, but Lindsey did. She found me an apartment close to her school for 510 a month and it was in my budget kinda. So on the 5th of august I moved in and was so excited. A few days after moving in she texts me and found out that I put her name on the credit card with me cause the card company called her asking for a payment. So she was pissed and we broke up cause of that. Eventually she calmed down and we talk and I explained that I’m working on paying them off and that its going to take time due to the fact of me paying rent, insurance, and a car note. So everything was fine and we were going to make it through it. Once again we got into another fight about something so I wrote her a long email stating how I felt and I didn’t want to give up on 2.5 yrs of this relationship.

 

A few days later she came back into my life, until recently when school started and on the 29th and she moved back into her dorm. That day I was so excited to see her you had no idea, to me it was going to be a start of something new again. So I pick up her that night and we went straight to my apt and just relax, we cooked dinner together and also watched a movie and had some beers, what a great time! On the 30th the same thing and it was great as well. On the 31st she was unable to sleep over so I understood and said that was fine so I took her back to her dorm. On the September 1st I asked her if we could pick up my bedframe and if she could loan me the money until I got paid. She agreed but was kinda upset that I had to ask her, but I explained that I’m really low on money and I’ll just give it back. So we hung out that night and I took her home. The next day I got out of work early just to pick up my frame and picked her up from school she explained that she want to go to two places which was greys books and target. So I agreed and took her to the book store, once we were done with the book store I headed towards target on independence.

 

We drove down university city blvd and she asked me where we were going and I told her target so she says that she needs to go to the one by the school cause shes paying with her parents credit card. So i said I’ll turn around with no problem so I did that and she made a smart comment to me and I took it personally. As I made the u-turn I didn’t talk to her till we got to target. We got out and I followed her around target thinking I don’t deserve to be treated this way. So as she shop I lost her and went to my car and wait for her, she called me asking where I was and explained that I was in the car. So she came to the car asking me what was wrong and I said your comment you said earlier. So she said if it wasn’t true, so I asked her what was her problem and she said nothing just take me to the dorm. So I agreed and dropped her off, while driving back to my apt I was thinking I should just have her pick up her things. So I got back to my apt and sent her a text saying that either you pick up your things or apologize, she responded with I’ll get my things tomorrow so I said get it today or apologize so 30 mins later she was knocking on my door. When entered my apt she was crying picking up her things and I was trying to stop her explaining that I just want you to apologize so I continued to stop her and she told me to stop cause I was making it worst and pushing her away. So I stop and just let her do her thing and she left my apt crying. I relaxed for a min and she knock on my door again and when I got to it she left her promise ring at my door step.

 

I was upset but this is something that she has done before. I just sat back and relaxed again, then I sent her a text message asking to borrow gas money until I got paid. So she sent me a text back saying to just pick it up and leave. So I went to her dorm and pick up the money but I asked her if we could talk about this. So she said that she’ll just come along to get gas and wants to be dropped off after we’re done. We drove to get gas and talk about us, she was saying that shes sick of fighting and that she fell out of love cause of it and its been that way for a few months. So I explained how I felt and what I wanted to do, I got to the gas station and pumped gas, as we were waiting I talked to her about coming back to my apt to have a glass of wine and that we could just enjoy the rest of the day together. So she agreed and we went to the store got a bottle of wine and we got dinner at cookout. Once we got back to my apt we just ate and relaxed drinking wine. In my mind I’m just thinking everything is going to blow over. But of course we got on the topic of us and she was saying that she wanted to be friends with benefits and its just hasn’t been working out the past few months between us. She saying that she loves me but not in love with me, so I continued to talk to her about us and she was saying fine we’ll be together and then she would so no and going back and forth with it. With the night ending we both cried and I had a feeling that it wasn’t over for us and that I was going to miss her as she said the same thing.

 

The next few days I texted her saying good morning and goodnight and she responded one of the days saying please stop texting her and I explained that I want to make it work and she said that we’ve tried in the past and I kept saying that we will try again cause I want you now and forever. So I left that as a last message and didn’t talk to her for a few days. So anyway I sent her an email with my feelings in it and she didn’t respond to it. As days go by I called her to see whats going on and we talked for a few about us and that she wants me to take care of my self paying the credit cards and that once I pay them off maybe we can be friends and maybe we could talk about us but until then don’t contact me cause I’ve been sitting in my dorm for 4 days straight crying. So later that night we talked again about us and I agreed to be broken up and that its better so I may take care of the bills, as we talked about everything we talk about us some more and she said she doesn’t want to hold back from seeing anyone so I questioned her if she was seeing anyone and she said there isn’t anyone and that she needs to concentrate on school. She also said that shes not looking for anyone but if anything it won’t be serious like what we had and if theres a chance for us to get back together it might still be there and she said never say never. So I asked her what that means and she said it could happened again she doesn’t know what will happen it could be months for now or even years from now. As the night continued with us talking I told her how I felt more and more and that was the end of the night

 

Right now where I stand is I want to be with her. Please help me, i have NC for about 10 days so far and counting.

[Cuppedia]

She asked you not to contact her and you should respect that.

 

I think you have to pay attention to your debts as they seem to be causing you a lot of problems, constantly asking to borrow money from her wasn't a good idea so it would really help you to get over that habit and manage your finances more wisely.

 

So, she basically said she doesn't want the relationship you had, can't promise anything and may or may not date around in the near future, why not do the same? , not as revenge but because you need to start having a life without her.

 

You're doing great with the NC, just keep going.

[AJ Auteur]

You think you can sum up your problem in one sentence?

[jtripp06]

the only reason i made it long was for everyone to understand the situation before just making judement from a small paragraph.

[jpearl]

Look no girl wants a guy to depend on her so much for money. So take this time apart and get your finances together. Work two jobs if you have to in order to pay off your debt. Work on making yourself better, so that in the future IF and that's a big if, she does want to get back together you will be more attractive to her. Not to mention all that work will keep your mind off of obsessing over her. She needs the space to miss you and you aren't giving it to her. Keep up with the NC.

[jtripp06]

i'm acutally working on finding a second job. i do want to prove to her that i have changed. what would be the best way on making contact after paying my debt off. i know that she said she wants me to email her once its paid off.

[romeo1546]

i thoroughly enjoyed reading your story, j tripp. I definitely think getting rid of your debts with her is definitely the start you're going to want to have. I would certainly wait to make contact until you will be completely debt free, she will surely be surprised and impressed with your maturity and assertiveness with changing and handling things. Good luck!!

[jtripp06]

thanks man i'm working on paying the debts off and on top of it i have an interview tonight for a second job. i'm not giving up on my relationship with her i want this to work.

[jtripp06]

finally got a second job and the credit cards are being paid off guys! it sucks just not being able to talk to her or even lay next to her. my nc so far is 2 weeks and 5 days. but i'm keeping my faith and hope alive for this relationship.

[jtripp06]

ok guys so heres the deal i'm should be done paying our debts off by the middle of next month some time. heres the problem a few weeks ago right around the 4th of this month she was talking to her friend who she they had something together with in the past and he invited her to come to his house for the weekend (i found this out through a friend). but where he lives at is where she went to school at with all of her old friends. so that weekend pasted and it killed me not knowing what was going on if they were hanging out just friends catching up since its been some years or if he was just trying to have her again. so she got back on a sunday and her myspace said she had one great weekend and she can't wait to do it again and her expression face was grateful. so of course i flipped out but i didn't make any attempts to contact her i just vented to friends. so recently she changed her profile pic from just being her to a new one with her him and some other friends. so i felt kinda better thinking she may have just went to hangout with friends. the other day her myspace page said that she "has way to many things on her head" and her expression says shes confused,so i checked her page last night and she changed it back to her pic and it said that "some people are really immature" and her expression was her being irritated.

Can some one tell me what this means or am i freaking out for no reason? the main problem i'm having is that i want to know where we stand and i know i can't contact her until i pay the debt off. what do i do? as of today its 3 weeks of nc.

[Cuppedia]

First of all I'm very glad you got your finances under control.

 

Ok, so you've been doing NC which is great but you forgot the golden rule of NC, do not look into their Myspace, Facebook, Blog, etc. Not because they could find out (they usually can't) but because it can really mess you up knowing things you can't discuss with them.

 

I don't think the stuff she wrote mean that much because it was kind of vague, all of those moods and descriptions could be about a bunch of different things.

 

Ignore her for a while, after everything is paid off and you feel ready to call her then MAYBE you could check the MySpace just to make sure there's nothing "big" going on.

[jtripp06]

thank you so much for the advice. i'm going to stay away until i pay everything off. i do want to reconcile everything with her and start new.

[jtripp06]

my question Cuppedia is how do i reconcile with her after everything is paid?

[Cuppedia]

Sorry it took me a while to reply.

 

The last days you were together were rather chaotic and I'm surprised things didn't end in worse terms, it seems the tension started building up but you both tried to be civilized about it.

All the things she said showed how confused she was, the friends with benefits, the just friends, the "I love you but I'm not in love with you", it really sounded like she had no idea what exactly she wanted at that point and I'm afraid the money request didn't help matters, maybe she felt you really didn't care about her feelings.

If I'm correct you dated for about 2 years, she might be curious as to what "else" is out there, going out with guys and stuff and it's normal so it shouldn't be a problem if it happens.

 

The starting point is knowing that there's nothing written, she could never want you back or she could give it another try, if you can live with that then your chances of succeeding increase.

 

While you pay your debts think about what you would have done differently and what were the reasons for the fights, how would you change that?, how would you prevent it from EVER happening again?.

Then do think carefully how you want to come accross, the easiest way is offering a friendship but friends don't have "ex-boyfriend" rights, don't get too close too fast or you could end up heartbroken a second time. If you initiate contact keep it casual, ask about what she's doing, don't talk about "how much you have changed" and don't try to pressure her, you are supposed to be friends and you want her to enjoy talking to you.

 

You might be interested in reading some of SuperDave71's posts here ( ), he has the best advice on how to get an ex back.

 

I hope that was of some help to you.

[jtripp06]

your definitly on point with everything with her being confused and what not. i think about what happened and how to prevent it in the future, it crosses my mind everyday. i am doing things to better myself. she did mention when we last talk that after everything is paid that we could be friends and maybe we could talk about "us" again. i do feel that theres still hope for us and i'm not giving up.